Maladaptive daydreaming?

[celestialregale]

From what I understand it's not a recognized disorder, but I'm wondering if anyone else on the spectrum does it?

I started looking into it when my husband asked what the heck I was doing pacing on the porch for hours at a time. I've done it for as long as I can remember and don't consider it a problem, but I guess it doesn't really seem..neurotypical? Is that the correct term?

Quick description, I just imagine scenarios, fantastical worlds, and my place in them. I can do this for hours at a time, usually pacing. It's different than just getting lost in my head thinking about something, which I often also do..

Anyway, this feels poorly worded, but I'm curious!

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

I'd never heard of the term "maladaptive daydreaming" so I looked it up. It appears to have been coined by Eli Somer, a professor at the University of Haifa in Israel. Here's his definition, for those who haven't heard about it: "extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning."

Here's my perspective as an Aspie who is married to another Aspie: The extended daydreaming you've done all your life isn't a problem in and of itself. It sounds like it very well could be an Aspie trait. That's fine--whatever gets you through the day, right? However, if it's interfering with the relationship you have with your husband, then the relational conflict is the problem.

If your husband is concerned about what you're doing, (as indicated by his "what the heck..." comment) then he does appear to have a legitimate concern that you're replacing the human interaction he is expecting as your husband. Relationships are all about give and take, but far too often I read about Aspies who use their neurological wiring as an excuse for all taking and no giving. I'm not saying this applies to you, but it's something to consider.

Have you had an open and honest conversation with him about whether it is interfering with the relationship? If not, then you should do so sooner rather than later. If he says it is interfering, then here's something to consider: are you even capable of reducing your daydreaming time to increase interaction with him? If so, then you should seriously consider trying to do so. If your need to have extended daydreams is too great or the habit is too ingrained, then you may need to explain to him that you can't change or that it may take some time to change the habit.

 

[celestialregale]

Thanks for your thoughtful response!

I never considered the implication of it detracting from our time together..that is something to keep an eye on and now I will!

Most of the time I do it when I'm alone, so I don't think it's been much of a hindrance thus far.

Side note: I was an only child who lived in the woods, so I was alone a lot. I'm pretty sure that was the start of it.

 

[Ambi]

I engaged in extensive daydreaming, placing myself in a fantasy world (that of my favorite books, or in movies I had seen) for much of my life. I still find myself creating scenarios in daydreams on a daily basis, but it's not as extensive. Part of the reason I did the daydreaming growing up was to escape my miserable life, but also to have a chance to "interact socially" with others in an ideal, safe environment - I tried out different scenarios, and those people were my "friends". I needed them and those situations emotionally. I still think I do this out of an emotional need, though it's less extensive.

 

[celestialregale]

I engaged in extensive daydreaming, placing myself in a fantasy world (that of my favorite books, or in movies I had seen) for much of my life. I still find myself creating scenarios in daydreams on a daily basis, but it's not as extensive. Part of the reason I did the daydreaming growing up was to escape my miserable life, but also to have a chance to "interact socially" with others in an ideal, safe environment - I tried out different scenarios, and those people were my "friends". I needed them and those situations emotionally. I still think I do this out of an emotional need, though it's less extensive.

I think I understand. I tend to daydream much more frequently and often during more stressful periods of my life. I'm also an avid reader and book worlds or characters would provide a starting point for the daydream.

 

[Judge]

From what I understand it's not a recognized disorder, but I'm wondering if anyone else on the spectrum does it?

I started looking into it when my husband asked what the heck I was doing pacing on the porch for hours at a time. I've done it for as long as I can remember and don't consider it a problem, but I guess it doesn't really seem..neurotypical? Is that the correct term?

Do you have any conditions comorbid to your autism, such as bipolar disorder? If so, you may be displaying a symptom of "Psychomotor Agitation". Movements without meaning.

Then again, if you are deep in thought while pacing, you may be displaying a form of stimming. Something a number of us on the spectrum do. Though I can't say I pace for hours on end. But it certainly is my stim.

 

[Crossbreed]

"extensive fantasy activity that replaces human interaction and/or interferes with academic, interpersonal, or vocational functioning."

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt. I stopped writing my amateur comic books for that very reason.

I still read them from time to time and watch TV and movie adaptations. American superhero art remains my favorite art style.

 

[celestialregale]

Do you have any conditions comorbid to your autism, such as bipolar disorder? If so, you may be displaying a symptom of "Psychomotor Agitation". Movements without meaning.

Then again, if you are deep in thought while pacing, you may be displaying a form of stimming. Something a number of us on the spectrum do. Though I can't say I pace for hours on end.

I don't think so. I had the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but from what I understand it was actually changed to Asperger's. I didn't know what stimming was until very recently, but I do a lot of other things like rubbing my hands together and tucking them in between my legs etc. I also sometimes pace when I'm nervous, so I think it is stimming. The pacing anway.

 

[Judge]

I don't think so. I had the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder but from what I understand it was actually changed to Asperger's. I didn't know what stimming was until very recently, but I do a lot of other things like rubbing my hands together and tucking them in between my legs etc. I also sometimes pace when I'm nervous, so I think it is stimming. The pacing anway.

My nickname here is also indicative of my stim. That I was once told that I look like a judge....pacing back and forth with a serious look and my hands in my pockets. Something I was doing when I was four or five years old.

Something I still do today in my 60s. It helps me think.

 

[Gritches]

I pace as a stim and I usually daydream while I'm doing it, can't say I've done it for hours at a time though. If you do it when feeling stressed that might be a part of it, I don't know, just spitballing.

 

[celestialregale]

I pace as a stim and I usually daydream while I'm doing it, can't say I've done it for hours at a time though. If you do it when feeling stressed that might be a part of it, I don't know, just spitballing.

Eh, maybe I should give a more definite time. 2-3 hrs is the max. I'm also home all the time, so I probably have more time than most.

 

[OkRad]

I Don't think it is bad. People watch Netflix for hours. I think it's cool that brain can give us a movie we really like. Why is that a bad thing? People literally watch Netflix for four hours straight!

Just because NTs can't daydream for a couple hours does not make it wrong

 

[Gritches]

Eh, maybe I should give a more definite time. 2-3 hrs is the max. I'm also home all the time, so I probably have more time than most.

My question would be more about what gets you started.

Another distinction I'd make is if you feel compelled to do it and it's distressing, or if you just do it whenever you feel like doing it and it's soothing. The former I'd call psychomotor agitation, which can have multiple causes, the latter would probably be stimming. If you're home all the time, you'd have the luxury of a stimming in such a way for extended periods of time whenever you feel like, be it 15 minutes or 3 hours.

 

[celestialregale]

It's not distressing and it's soothing. Compelling? I don't know. I do enjoy it though.

 

[Rasendra]

I do similar but without much pacing due to back problems. My husband has made comments about what I am doing or am I bored and seems to get concerned if it doesn't look like I am doing something. He doesn't quite understand it. I think it is more out of not understanding and not recognized or normal NT behavior than anything. For example while he is playing a video game is often a good time since his focus is elsewhere. Problem is if he looks over and notices me staring into space then it seems to trouble him and he will not enjoy the game anymore as he tries to figure out what is wrong. I have taken to opening my computer or holding my phone to avoid those.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

I always thought this was just a me thing and never connected it to my condition. I constantly designed characters in my head and built scenarios for them, to the point where i couldn't do schoolwork or take notes in class. Some days i would just lie on my bed and daydream for hours. I hated being taken away from this world, to the point where my parents had to do my schoolwork because i couldn't get away from daydreaming. For me, it's a form of escapism, and i was scared i was losing this because i started to be more comfortable with interaction. I didn't even realize it was a mental illness. When i daydream, i can react strongly to what is in my head, to the point where i've been told that i look like i'm talking to myself. It's really embarrasing when i snap out of it and people are staring at me. A few months ago, i was a post on pinterest when i came across an infographic on MD. It sounded exactly like what i did. I dug some more research and confirmed this theory.

 

[celestialregale]

I do similar but without much pacing due to back problems. My husband has made comments about what I am doing or am I bored and seems to get concerned if it doesn't look like I am doing something. He doesn't quite understand it. I think it is more out of not understanding and not recognized or normal NT behavior than anything. For example while he is playing a video game is often a good time since his focus is elsewhere. Problem is if he looks over and notices me staring into space then it seems to trouble him and he will not enjoy the game anymore as he tries to figure out what is wrong. I have taken to opening my computer or holding my phone to avoid those.

It's so nice to hear of other people who do it! I'm sorry your hubby is troubled by it though, especially since it seems pretty harmless. I also daydream sitting or in bed. I've just found that walking and being outside are more conducive to it for me most of the time.

 

[celestialregale]

I always thought this was just a me thing and never connected it to my condition. I constantly designed characters in my head and built scenarios for them, to the point where i couldn't do schoolwork or take notes in class. Some days i would just lie on my bed and daydream for hours. I hated being taken away from this world, to the point where my parents had to do my schoolwork because i couldn't get away from daydreaming. For me, it's a form of escapism, and i was scared i was losing this because i started to be more comfortable with interaction. I didn't even realize it was a mental illness. When i daydream, i can react strongly to what is in my head, to the point where i've been told that i look like i'm talking to myself. It's really embarrasing when i snap out of it and people are staring at me. A few months ago, i was a post on pinterest when i came across an infographic on MD. It sounded exactly like what i did. I dug some more research and confirmed this theory.

I understand the fear of losing it! I definitely have times when it comes more naturally than others, and times when I've wanted to daydream like that and been unable. I don't consider it a mental illness though..but I see how it could be.

 

[isthisreallife]

Up until my late teens I did this, I think it was my coping mechanism while I was in school. Once in a blue moon I'll pick it up again for an evening, I like it there, but I find it hard to find that place now.

 

[Daniel89]

I absolutely have this, my personal theory is it's the result of an under occupied mind. If I read It doesn't happen but otherwise I am constantly daydreaming.