Making others feel better

[Jorg]

Altough it may seem weird for the classic aspie stereotype, sometimes when I see people sad or having a bad time I feel the urge to make them feel better. I don't know if it is because I have had a lot of experience feeling depressed or you know how we aspies can be.

I have some friends and as far as I know them they are not the kind of drama queens/king, sometimes they post some sad statuses and I have known some reasons behind them...anyway I fel bad for them and I just want to make sometime nice and be supportive but I really don't know how.

Let's take for example a crush of mine for several years now, she knows how I feel about her and she rejected me, we are still friends but as you may know the relationship got weird and well we haven't talked much lately. When we first went out after several years of not seeing each other she told me she had to left work for sometime because she was depressed and the office medic ordered her to take free time. Also her sister, whom I barely talk, seems to be sad, she apparently broke up with her boyfriend and sometimes post sad statuses.

Anyway, do you feel the same?Do you want to make someone feel better?

 

[Adder1234]

To be honest, being nice to other people and helping them is one of the few things that makes me feel good about myself.

 

[Suzanne]

I hate seeing others sad and will try to make them feel better. In my faith, one sister was cleaning the toilets at our hall ( we take turns) and she was crying. I know that she suffers really bad from health issues and so, first I volunteered to take over her cleaning the toilets ( she barely has done before) and she hesitated and then said: no, thank you but I think I should do this and then, she told me why she was crying and I honestly wanted to hug her to take away her pain ( I am not a hugger - go figure that one). Anyway, she told me what was going on and it was in my power to help her out and I felt so EAGER to do this, to bring a smile back to her eyes!

When my sex cries, I cry too!

Yet, paradoxally whilst showing "love", I find myself sometimes looking with interest at the emotions and thinking: how silly we look when we cry I hate this sense of cruelty about myself.

I actually am very empathetic, because I can put myself in someone else' shoes and feel their pain.

 

[Sashi]

I am a late-diagnosed Aspie who has the privilege of working as a sub teacher's aide which often puts me in the classrooms of children with autism, down syndrome, ADHD, etc. It is therapy for me to help children who struggle with what I struggled with and still do. When I cross paths with a shadow of myself who I see struggling as I did, I give that child at least some attention so the youngster knows they aren't invisible to me.

 

[toothless]

Altough it may seem weird for the classic aspie stereotype, sometimes when I see people sad or having a bad time I feel the urge to make them feel better. I don't know if it is because I have had a lot of experience feeling depressed or you know how we aspies can be.

I have some friends and as far as I know them they are not the kind of drama queens/king, sometimes they post some sad statuses and I have known some reasons behind them...anyway I fel bad for them and I just want to make sometime nice and be supportive but I really don't know how.

Let's take for example a crush of mine for several years now, she knows how I feel about her and she rejected me, we are still friends but as you may know the relationship got weird and well we haven't talked much lately. When we first went out after several years of not seeing each other she told me she had to left work for sometime because she was depressed and the office medic ordered her to take free time. Also her sister, whom I barely talk, seems to be sad, she apparently broke up with her boyfriend and sometimes post sad statuses.

Anyway, do you feel the same?Do you want to make someone feel better?

jorg,id say thats the norm for people on the spectrum,you can have any level of empathy and/or sympathy despite what the stereotypes and much of the general public say-your example sounds like you were feeling sympathy as you dont know how to deal with it;if it was empathy you were feeling towards them you would feel sad/bad etc to and understand what is needed to make that bad feeling in them better,i dont know...im not an armchair expert.

i have no empathy but i have a great deal of sympathy,its been a learned thing though as i wasnt like that when young and it feels un natural to me but i try to help as best i can when one of my support staff/friends/family is upset.
i tend to just give them a big bear hug as i love bear hugs and i listen to whats wrong without interrupting so theyr able to get their issues out,i spent a lot of time in my life being a good listener as i was non verbal till my late twenties.

 

[midlife aspie]

This is good. There is a very good reason why helping others makes us feel good. We should do it more often!
The road to heaven is paved with love. We help to build it with loving acts, each act is a brick, and the more magnanimous the act, the larger the brick. Opening a door for a stranger is a brick, forgiving someone who wrongs us is a large brick, showing love and compassion for those once held in contempt by ourselves or others is a VERY LARGE brick (especially if others hold us in contempt for the act!), and quite possibly, the entire road can be paved at once when one gives one's own life freely and without reserve for another.