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Love trouble

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Mars26, Jul 30, 2020.

  1. Mars26

    Mars26 21 years old aspie

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    I started dating this guy (we are both bisexual) in February but we know each other since October. We were on 3 dates before the pandemic. During the quarantine, we texted each other several times a day, played online and watched online movies together. I could describe what we've been through, what was his fault, what was mine, but I'd like to focus on something else. I visted him at the end of May after 3 months separately and after spending the night together, I learned that "we probably won't be together". You probably think it's mean of him, but I'm also looking for a girl, unless the situation shows otherwise. In this situation I fell in love with him, so I was sad to hear it. It was weird because at the beginning of May he was still telling me that I was his treasure, that he wanted to hug me etc. When I got home, I stopped talking to him so often and write back immediately. He wanted to know what was wrong. I told him and we had simply conversation what next for us. However, a month later when I came back for practical classes this time, everything was more important than meeting me. In quarantine we didn't see each other and when I came for 3-12 days, he didn't find more time for me than one afternoon even when we were still dating. We had an argument and he told me "Before that we could have had a chance, but now we'll never be together." I still don't understand why he was so sure that we don't belong together since most of our relationship was in a pandemic. Did I broke things up when I was offended when he said that "we probably won't be together"?
    After that conflict we had 30 days break from each other, during which I also understood my mistakes. Both of us worked out our problems and we are now friends but I still love him and he was the one who insist to stay in touch. By remaining in a friendship that still has a romantic-sexual subtext, do we have a chance to return to the previous tracks?
     
  2. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    I think because of the argument and how things went through it, he doesn't trust you anymore as a lover. He sounds hurt but more than that i have to wonder if hes figured out reasons why you're not fit to be together.

    Seems he has reasons though to break up. I don't think it's wise to pursue him anymore. There are still feelings and you both haven't moved on from the past, so if a relationship rekindles it doesn't sound like thingvs will be good.

    Will you regret not dating a girl in any amount instead of letting yourself get back with him if things get messy again? That could complicate things. I don't think either of you is really sure about being together but certainly your focus should be on not trying to pull him back from his decision, because it may be a rash decision based on temptation. And this is true for both of you.
     
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  3. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    You seem very attached to him. I would think there's a chance, but his reaction and inability to commit through hard times and you to make it up for him to be able to heal and forgive and his denial of letting you repair things are not good signs. You may live a life of misery together and not really be driven to fight if you aren't sure about it.

    If he doesn't make any first real clear steps I don't think he's seriously reconsidering his decision
     
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  4. Rexi

    Rexi uwu owo uwu SlightlyFilterless Atheist Science=<3 V.I.P Member

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    If he's going to want to be with you he will, that's what you should be ready for really well with a decision he can't persuade you to change and possible backup plans. If you figure out you would really be able to give 100% and be with him, then you should wait forever. If not then you should move on forever [and take your time to move on before trying to be his friend, then figure out if you can be friends, not everyone is fit for ex friendships, despite their willingness to be] . Don't let him or life make your path, do what you really believe in.
     
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  5. Mars26

    Mars26 21 years old aspie

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    Thank you for your advice @Rexi
     
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