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Lost the love of my life in early 2017.. need help getting her back

S

SRZ2209

New Member
I met my ex who has AS long ago in 2012 after an introduction from someone. Back then being a guy in my early 20's I had no idea what aspergers actually /was/ until after this break up occurred. (Despite many hints including her family going as far as telling me about her meltdowns and to not to ''push'' her)

We didnt actually start dating until early 2016

We went on a few dates which were oddly spaced out once every two months. She was in college then so I just rolled with it. However as time went on she seemed very focused on her other interests such as her music or youtube. I honestly can say I did get a bit frustrated because our conversations became shorter and not frequent at all.

Then after a point she just preferred to stay home and never wanted to go on dates. ( One time she was so focused on a coloring book she didnt respond to texts for a day)

So at the end of the year with my job laying everybody off and everything else I got a bit fed up. I was not rude to her but I asked her if shes even serious about the relationship anymore I told her this isnt normal and I want this to work. ( At this point we didnt see each other in several months)

She told me that she was busy with trying to find jobs but we will work things out with the relationship.

A few days later I offered to come over her house and hang out but she sent me a long text stating

So with the new job starting the training I have to do plus the shifts at KFC that I stil have im gonna focus on me and my career I know that I do not have the time for a relationship right now so thats why I am choosing to focus on just myself.

We can still be friends sorry.

Right now I just feel like im not meant to be in a relationship with anyone im focusing on whats important to me right now thanks for understanding

I know in my heart im not ready for any relationship and im meant to focus on what im trying to accomplish right now

I hope you respect my decision trust me im focusing on myself right now I know what I want and thats what im going for we can still be firends

I want what ive worked so hard for during my four years in college im working in a field I love helping family

I know hwere im meant to be and I know I will be just fine on my own as of right now I dont know if ill see you again I just have to follow my heart there is nobody else in my life its just me something that I should have focused on a long time ago just me



She then blocked me out on everything. I have not heard from her since that day.


Her family member texted me and said ''I told you you shouldnt of pushed her'' shortly after she messaged me. --- I also remember the same family member telling me how her last relationship ended abruptly like this as well.

A few weeks later a friend of mine discovered her on the dating site plenty of fish.

I regret honestly not being more understanding to the situation because I still love this girl.

I want to send her a message on facebook (A medium that she has not blocked me on because I didnt have it while we were dating) I have not contacted her in two years almost

Is there any chance of at least restoring something when they have a meltdown?

If so what should I say?
 
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Yes as everyone here so far has said, move on. She's not the only person you'll like and fall in love with. There are other people out there
 
I am aware theres other people just sometimes I dont know I miss them I never had closure. Theres just this feeling in me that just wants to message her with some hope she will restore at least a friendship with me.

This break up has been two years and yet sometimes I think of them.

Ive dated other people since then just didnt feel the same way I did about this person. I hope someday I will.
 
I think the best thing to do is move on. I also do not see how being friends with her would work out for you. My advice would be to do stuff you enjoy and meet some other people, perhaps start online dating.

I am sure you will find someone who fits you better, goodluck!
 
as stated by everyone else you need to move on . if someone blocks you on mulitple sites that should be a sign that they dont want to talk
 
As hard as this is to say, I think moving on is the best possible course of action to take. When relationships fail it hurts very much! I thought I was going to marry the woman from my last relationship. When it all fell apart, I was really bereft. At least I learnt a lot about relationships as she was the first woman I ever really loved. Hindsight being what it is, I am glad we never progressed to marriage; this was a blessing in disguise. I also now believe that there is no such thing as a single soulmate for someone - there are multiple soulmate candidates out there. ;-) Take a break from dating and take some stock and inventory from this last relationship. When you feel like you're ready to put yourself out there, then go ahead.

This is something I never do but I ended up with a one-night stand from someone I met at a training seminar. Ironically, I never really enjoyed sleeping with my ex-girlfriend. Sleeping with this stranger was one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had. This stranger was probably the opposite of my typical "type." She taught me to let go of my "type" and look for someone that is simply kind and good-hearted. It was after being with her that I learned we have multiple soulmates so a failed relationship is not an end game. You'll get there in time, I know you will.
 
Let it go. She has decided. You love her? Then you will respect her and honor her choice, regardless the effect on you. That would be the loving thing to do.

(I see this was rated funny. How is it funny?)
 
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The bird has flown. You're just poking around the poop now. Look for someone more your speed.
 
I don't think her choice to break up is really related to her having a meltdown, it sounds like it was more related to your different needs. You made it clear you needed more together-time than she was prepared to give you, and she decided to end it.

I hope you find love with someone who wants the same things from a relationship that you do.
 
As others have said move on. I believe this person wants to, I think you should as well. There are other fish in the sea. I know you'll find 1.
 
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