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Looking for coping strategies

ftfipps

Well-Known Member
We all know Mila Kunis, The girl who played Jackie on That 70's Show. She is Russian and learned English by watching American sitcoms! I was wondering, do you have any television programs that you could recommend for learning to appropriately communicate with NT's?
 
Keep in mind, the people in TV shows are all ACTORS. The way that people speak in shows of pretty much any type never *truly* lines up with how people converse IRL. Part of the reason for this is that they're not deciding what to say on their own, or creating the situations on their own... they follow the script created by a professional writer. And that script is specifically engineered to keep the viewer's attention. Note that I used the word "viewer" there. The script isnt made for the actors' benefit.... it's made for the outside people observing it. If you try to mimic TV actors, it probably wont go over as well as you think it will. Chances are, people will think it more than a bit odd.

Normal conversation... or what people call "normal" anyway... just sort of happens. Kinda flows. There's a reason why most conversations are punctuated with "uh" and "er" so frequently (if you watch carefully, characters on TV almost never do this), and why there are random pauses here and there. The situations people find themselves conversing in, and the topics chosen, also just sort of flow together. There's no script involved, and the conversations arent focused on outside observers.

In other words, the very nature of the whole thing is totally different. It just doesnt apply in the way that, on paper, it sounds like it does.

Really the only way to do it is to just get out there and do it. Though, sometimes, it's possible to get someone to sort of coach you on communication techniques. Or perhaps, when conversing with friends, you can ask them to tell you when you've said something odd/wrong, and suggest alternatives. You know, stuff like that. Even with that help though... you still inevitably have to just do it.
 
I was just hoping that I could at least get down the basic responses to basic cliché things. I hate learning as I go because if I say anything other that the expected response to some of the glib mantras I will automatically be called a dimwit, treated like a charity case and used by other people to elicit pity from people.
 
Why not just ask about those cliche things here directly? Heck, make an entire topic dedicated to understanding that sort of drivel. I assume you mean things people say like "What's up?" or "What did you think of X event lately? (despite having no bloody idea if you even care)" The super generic type of questions that people seem to think need to be asked because society says so. Is that correct?

If that's what you mean, ALOT of people on this forum could probably use alot of help with that. For many of us, it's bloody baffling. A thread dedicated to dealing with that inane derpage... with an appropriate and obvious title... might really go a long way.

I know I sure get tired of all that junk from people. Usually if I get hit with that crap, I'll either ignore it, get really sarcastic, or something. If someone starts treating me badly because I dont respond "correctly", they either get more sarcasm, or a really long string of complicated sentences with big words that sounds like it came out of a book about quantum mechanics.

The reactions are so worth it. Though I realize that my unpleasant solution is not exactly desirable for many. Chances are most people on here would rather be polite and such. So yeah, a topic like that might help everyone figure it out more.
 
I have a set of responses I use to the point where people I see regularly eventually call them my catchphrases or start to copy them by accident.

How are you?
Good, how are you?

What's up? (If first question)
Good, how are you?

What's up? (If following "how are you")
Nothing at all! How about you?

Anything new?
Nope! You?

What do you think of "x"?
I don't know what that is. (True most of the time.) Alternate: *Shrug* or I don't know.

*Makes comment positive in nature*
Oh yeah! (Like the kool-aid man)

*Makes comment negative in nature*
*chuckles* Yeah...

*Asks opinion on something I am looking at or they know I saw, like a show we saw together*
It's good!

And questions that can be answered with yes or no are answered:
Yep!
Or
Nope!

People say I'm like a cartoon character, mostly because they find my voice funny, but maybe this is also why. :eek:
 
Well, they're better than my "catchphrases" at least.

Them: "So, what are you up to?"
Me: "Standing here listening to you talk."

Them. "So, how about that weather?"
Me: "Ugh"

Them: "Did you hear about [insert inane gossip here]?"
Me: *flings a shoe at them*
 
Next time somebody asks about the shirt I'm wearing or some similar Derpage, I will just say, I'm just trying to get home or something. If nobody else has had the courage to start that thread, I don't want to be the first.
 
What would they ask about your shirt?

Usually any comment about a shirt, in my experience, can be answered with, "Thanks!" or "It's a band." :cool:
 
I had no idea what homeboy was talking about, he had spit chewing tobacca onto his chin and looking at me with a dead serious expression with goo all over his face. Several people have done this same thing. Smear stuff on their face and look at me in the eyes, like nothing had happened. I couldn't tell if they were putting themselves down or putting me down.
 
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We all know Mila Kunis, The girl who played Jackie on That 70's Show.
I've never seen it, so I don't. Not all of us outside of the US had access to your TV shows.

appropriately communicate with NT's
Talk to them like the human beings they are. Also, there is no way to be certain the person is "NT".

Next time somebody asks about the shirt I'm wearing or some similar Derpage, I will just say, I'm just trying to get home or something
Why? When someone asks a question like that, they're often interested in what's on it. Maybe they like the style, or if it's got a picture on it, maybe they like what it is about (e.g. bands, TV shows). Thank them, and give a short statement about it, e.g. where you got it, why you own it.

I make these comments myself, and as I have Asperger Syndrome, I am not "NT". When people show their interests openly in what they wear, they are usually very happy someone noticed, and like to talk about it. If they are wearing an item of clothing they like, they often like the compliments. It's one way to start conversations, which is why you hear it often.
 
This sounds very broad. Impossibly broad to sufficiently cover here. Communication is difficult because it’s pretty much infinite. There are patterns, but the possibilities are truly endless.

I do agree with some of the above posts.

If you want to learn by example, I would suggest watching/listening to something more organic. I like to watch gaming livestreams where the streamer interacts with their audience. It’s typically closer to what’s “normal”.
 
None, because you're not going to learn anything from script writers. Learn to "fake it" at the very least and practice as much as you need to while learning from your mistakes.
 
In my experience, many humans enjoy hearing the sound of their own name. If I know a human well enough to be on a first name basis, then I can get by conversationally by simply altering my expression & the way I say their name (concerned, excited, sad, happy, worried, etc) mirroring their own delivery. For this, it would be helpful to study the way an actor delivers a line. How does an actor communicate concern, excitement, sadness, happiness, worry, etc?
 
Wow.
Obviously I don't know who you know, but
I do know that I don't enjoy having anyone
address me by name at all.

If I were in the same room with a person who
saw fit to address me by my given name, I
would feel really creeped out.
 
Wow.
Obviously I don't know who you know, but
I do know that I don't enjoy having anyone
address me by name at all.

If I were in the same room with a person who
saw fit to address me by my given name, I
would feel really creeped out.


Aye, same here. I hate that.

But it does seem that many enjoy it. Heck, arent salespeople trained to use their customer's name a whole bunch to "make them feel good" even?

I dont really get it.
 
I love when people I know and like use my name!

The Power of Using Someone’s Name - The Good Men Project

"When you say someone’s name the next time you greet them you have told that person they were important enough to remember, they were special enough for you to take note of them. I can almost guarantee you have just made an acquaintance with the possibility of a more meaningful relationship in the future, whether it be business, friendship or relationship. Unless you act in a negative manner you will now always be associated in that persons memory as someone who took the time to remember who they were."
 
tree, I wouldn’t go out of my way to address a human by their first name. I’ve found it a helpful response though when another human I’m on a first name basis with is talking at me & that human is expecting some sort of feedback.

So if I encounter a human who doesn’t enjoy hearing the sound of their own name, they might choose to avoid conversing with me. That is okay. Not every coping mechanism works with every human in every situation.
 
she's also the voice of meg on family guy.

I don't mind too much people calling me by my name but I HATE name tags and HATE it when someone calls me by name who I've never seen before in my life as if they know me because of that stupid name tag.
 

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