buck_rogers
Well-Known Member
Hi,
I'm a moderator on a forum and also an event organiser. The event is a non-profit convention that also helps raise money for charity, and draws about 1,500 people. It's something that a bunch of us work on in our spare time when not in college or work. Now the event also has a forum and has a member that claims to suffer from autism, Aspergers, depression and is also a transvestite. As with any forum though we have rules in place such being polite and respectful to other members and my main question is in relation to rules on a forum which I'll get to.
This person (I'll call him Alex, not his real name) insists on discussing issues such as suicide, depression, and seeks sympathy from people on his personal life situation. If people do try give Alex advice and it's not something he agree's with he'll throw a tantrum even if it's sincere. Now I agree that discussing things like this is certainly a good thing but I feel it should be discussed in an appropriate place like this forum where I'd imagine you'd take it very seriously and be in position to give the correct answers. The forum I'm a mod on is primarily for people with a shared hobby mainly aimed at mid teens to mid twenties. You see the unfortunate thing is Alex is well know for going into online fits of rage and ranting and has collected a following of haters because of this. Pretty much everybody on our committee has tried talking to Alex and have asked him to try keep our forums for making friends and trying to have fun while posting his more serious topics on other forums where he won't be targeted and will get proper answers. I told him that we'll do anything to help but we're just not equipt to properly deal with some of the issues he brings up. Many of our members are pretty immature and all of them use the forums as a means of making friends, having fun, and discussing their shared hobby and there are many members that get upset at some of the issues he discusses as they have experiences in it also and don't find his comments appropriate. When we try to ignore the situation he posts up offensive words all over the place and insists we help him with all his troubles. He's angry, bitter, and seeks attention and sympathy.
We've tried reasoning with him, expressing sympathy, and even divulging personal experiences and giving advice. He ignores all and says we don't understand him and should be more lenient when it comes to rules because he has a condition and he can't help his angry rants.
We spent nearly a year trying to deal with this, offering countless warnings and temporary bans when he broke the forum rules, and then finally we had enough and issued a permanent ban after warning that we were coming up to a permanent ban.
Now he's gone into a fit of rage and say he will try destroy our event through any means unless we recede the ban. He says we were unjust, and that because of his condition we should be far more lenient (which we were), and also that we need only talk to him when things go wrong. Now he also claims he had a mild panic attack at our last event but didn't inform any of our staff and says that we didn't look after him.
What should I do? Any advice on how I should handle this? I've tried being polite but explaining that the forum rules apply to everyone and if we feel he's changed his ways we'll review the ban. many of our members send us messages of complaints and ask why we won't permanently ban him for his continued behaviour. Are we being too harsh and should I only issue him with temporary bans? While we do care about our members it feels a little too much for us as we're already stressed out from running the event. PM me or message below please
I've gotten about ten plus emails in the last day or so from him but here's an example of his latest; (I've taken any names out)
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Just to make it quite clear what the issue is here-
You cannot throw out an autistic person for having a minor breakdown or panic attack. While some cope better, for many it's part and parcel with the condition. You don't seem to understand this, but I'm telling you now and anyone with experience will confirm it. To do so is Ableist and this is what can get you in trouble. It would be almost exactly like banning an epileptic person from the con for having a fit and making people feel uncomfortable. Rules do not excuse it. People are simply more aware of conditions like that so won't complain, but it's still not acceptable to treat someone with autism in the same manner.
The fact that I had a panic attack on con grounds and the actions of the mod staff instigated ones only re-affirms the Ableist stance X-Event has taken. It's not about making me completely exempt from the rules. But the fact is that any time I have been in trouble, it's not been due to nastiness or attacking people unprovoked, or general trouble making, but a direct result of my inability to cope with anxiety brought on by my depression and autism. You are punishing me for a condition I have no control over, and that can be dealth with in a much better way.
There is an equality commission here and if I have been mistreated as an autistic person the con will get into trouble the same as if they had mishandled a mentally ill person on-site(which you essentially did with me anyway since none of the staff paid me any heed).
Alex
I'm a moderator on a forum and also an event organiser. The event is a non-profit convention that also helps raise money for charity, and draws about 1,500 people. It's something that a bunch of us work on in our spare time when not in college or work. Now the event also has a forum and has a member that claims to suffer from autism, Aspergers, depression and is also a transvestite. As with any forum though we have rules in place such being polite and respectful to other members and my main question is in relation to rules on a forum which I'll get to.
This person (I'll call him Alex, not his real name) insists on discussing issues such as suicide, depression, and seeks sympathy from people on his personal life situation. If people do try give Alex advice and it's not something he agree's with he'll throw a tantrum even if it's sincere. Now I agree that discussing things like this is certainly a good thing but I feel it should be discussed in an appropriate place like this forum where I'd imagine you'd take it very seriously and be in position to give the correct answers. The forum I'm a mod on is primarily for people with a shared hobby mainly aimed at mid teens to mid twenties. You see the unfortunate thing is Alex is well know for going into online fits of rage and ranting and has collected a following of haters because of this. Pretty much everybody on our committee has tried talking to Alex and have asked him to try keep our forums for making friends and trying to have fun while posting his more serious topics on other forums where he won't be targeted and will get proper answers. I told him that we'll do anything to help but we're just not equipt to properly deal with some of the issues he brings up. Many of our members are pretty immature and all of them use the forums as a means of making friends, having fun, and discussing their shared hobby and there are many members that get upset at some of the issues he discusses as they have experiences in it also and don't find his comments appropriate. When we try to ignore the situation he posts up offensive words all over the place and insists we help him with all his troubles. He's angry, bitter, and seeks attention and sympathy.
We've tried reasoning with him, expressing sympathy, and even divulging personal experiences and giving advice. He ignores all and says we don't understand him and should be more lenient when it comes to rules because he has a condition and he can't help his angry rants.
We spent nearly a year trying to deal with this, offering countless warnings and temporary bans when he broke the forum rules, and then finally we had enough and issued a permanent ban after warning that we were coming up to a permanent ban.
Now he's gone into a fit of rage and say he will try destroy our event through any means unless we recede the ban. He says we were unjust, and that because of his condition we should be far more lenient (which we were), and also that we need only talk to him when things go wrong. Now he also claims he had a mild panic attack at our last event but didn't inform any of our staff and says that we didn't look after him.
What should I do? Any advice on how I should handle this? I've tried being polite but explaining that the forum rules apply to everyone and if we feel he's changed his ways we'll review the ban. many of our members send us messages of complaints and ask why we won't permanently ban him for his continued behaviour. Are we being too harsh and should I only issue him with temporary bans? While we do care about our members it feels a little too much for us as we're already stressed out from running the event. PM me or message below please
I've gotten about ten plus emails in the last day or so from him but here's an example of his latest; (I've taken any names out)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just to make it quite clear what the issue is here-
You cannot throw out an autistic person for having a minor breakdown or panic attack. While some cope better, for many it's part and parcel with the condition. You don't seem to understand this, but I'm telling you now and anyone with experience will confirm it. To do so is Ableist and this is what can get you in trouble. It would be almost exactly like banning an epileptic person from the con for having a fit and making people feel uncomfortable. Rules do not excuse it. People are simply more aware of conditions like that so won't complain, but it's still not acceptable to treat someone with autism in the same manner.
The fact that I had a panic attack on con grounds and the actions of the mod staff instigated ones only re-affirms the Ableist stance X-Event has taken. It's not about making me completely exempt from the rules. But the fact is that any time I have been in trouble, it's not been due to nastiness or attacking people unprovoked, or general trouble making, but a direct result of my inability to cope with anxiety brought on by my depression and autism. You are punishing me for a condition I have no control over, and that can be dealth with in a much better way.
There is an equality commission here and if I have been mistreated as an autistic person the con will get into trouble the same as if they had mishandled a mentally ill person on-site(which you essentially did with me anyway since none of the staff paid me any heed).
Alex
but it seems that you do want to help the guy. I think there're only a few things you could do: provide him with links to forums, resources and possibly some sort of a local organizations related to his issues and remove him stating that rules are there for a reason and they have to be followed. 
