Lonely

[grommet]

Lonely

 

[BraidedPony]

sorry grommet

 

[Suzanne]

I suffer that too and then discovered Korean dramas and as long as I have something to watch, loneless disappears.

It is a cruel feeling, because sometimes control is out of reach and even music is echoey.

 

[Jeremiah]

I think I've lost my ability to feel lonely, if I ever even had that...

 

[George Newman]

I often go the the market to be around other people. Sometimes I don’t even need anything from the market. I just go to be around people.
Is your loneliness simply about being around other people?

 

[Mary Terry]

Hi, Grommet! I'm glad you posted your note and visited here. Please come back soon. There are lots of friendly people here when you're lonely and feel like talking.

 

[hardrockandmetalguy]

i understand what it feels like but me personally, i like being all to myself. i know some of you might disagree and that's okay. maybe soon I'll explain a little better. forgive me if i was coming off as rude.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I feel quite lonely at times. I do go out more to socialize and take walks which helps some.

 

[grommet]

I often go the the market to be around other people. Sometimes I don’t even need anything from the market. I just go to be around people.
Is your loneliness simply about being around other people?

There is no one like me that I know. I do not have contact with aspies like me. Aspies understand. Other people do not. I need to be around some other people who understand. No one I know has passion for the things I do, so I cannot share them. None of what bring me joy about them can be told to someone else. I am not being clear enough but I do not know how to be more clear unless I start speaking in sentence fragments, it is the best way for me to communicate.

All alone because no one understands what is important. There is no one I can .. so hard to use words to explain. Example of how I see things - I do not understand the need for locks. If something is not yours, you do not touch it. If you are not supposed to go somewhere you do not. This is inviolable. This is just one example of how I see things, one of so many. But there is no one like me I can be around. So all the things that matter to me, that make sense, I have to keep inside. So everyday I am a stranger among all the people I see. No friendly faces anywhere. I feel like my people are ten thousand miles away but I live here and I will never see them and I do not know if I can keep living among the NT's. I have accommodated their ways enough. They make no sense to me but I have to live among them.

There is no one I can see in person who sees things like I do. Aspies are diferent but not when we are together. We are individuals but we understand each other like French people all speaking the same language. Different but still French. I am alone among the regular people and I do not now I can take the loneliness any more.

 

[grommet]

Hi, Grommet! I'm glad you posted your note and visited here. Please come back soon. There are lots of friendly people here when you're lonely and feel like talking.

Hello Mary. Thank you. I wish I could see some people in person. There is a book, "The Speed of Dark", fiction. In the story there is an Autism Center where lots of autistic people see each other and sometimes go out and have dinner. I need that. I cannot keep waiting forever to be around my own people. I do not want to. I am tired of feeling wrong for being the way I am. When I read about other autistic people they are like me, so I am not wrong. I just don't get to be around them in real life. So I feel wrong all the time among neuro typical people. They should try living in my world with my people and see how we are all alike and they would be confused. Then they would see there was never anything wrong with autistic people, we are only different.

 

[BraidedPony]

It's more than just being around random people. Sometimes I just want someone to understand without talking for three hours explaining what to me, is obvious.
Just need to make a connection sometimes.

 

[grommet]

i understand what it feels like but me personally, i like being all to myself. i know some of you might disagree and that's okay. maybe soon I'll explain a little better. forgive me if i was coming off as rude.

I like what you said and I do not think it was rude or seemed rude. I have had wonderful times being just by myself. I prefer it. But I also need connection. I can never share my passions or my way of thinking with NT's. I know autistic people understand. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. She was autistic. We understood each other. Now I do not have even one person who understands. I want to be around people like me, other autistic people. I know we do not always get along, but there is an acceptance. People stimming aren't looked at. When people say something is bad for them, no one argues with them against that.

Also I want the joy of being around autistic people as we agree and understand things together. That happens a lot. That never happens for me with NT's.

 

[grommet]

I feel quite lonely at times. I do go out more to socialize and take walks which helps some.

Sometimes I have gone out for walks but I do not know why, I am very very nervous, scared even, when I am just walking around in public. I do not know what I am afraid of. It all just seems so random, the things they do. And they are so loud and rude, they are not very nice to each other, reaching in front of each other and shouting, not making way for each other. I do not understand that. So I go for walks trying to be less lonely but the whole time I know I am not like them so I come home feeling lonelier.

 

[grommet]

It's more than just being around random people. Sometimes I just want someone to understand without talking for three hours explaining what to me, is obvious.
Just need to make a connection sometimes.

That is what I need. That is what I am talking about. So many things. Something like just saying "No." and everyone stops asking because they now have an answer. "No" meant no. Words having meaning instead of subtext. Not being judged for saying you like something very cold or cannot stand something very cold. Not trying to be talked out of what you just said was true for you. A person can be hungry or not hungry or sometimes a person can not know if they are or what that feeling is. They are not lying or being cute. Why can't they just accept an answer as true? They (NTs) always have extra meanings to their words. Aspies mostly mean just what they say. I have had enough of their world. Enough. A lifetime having to learn their ways. I want some comfort. To be around people like me.

 

[the_tortoise]

Understanding and safety ...so important.

Are there any autism societies where you live? Sometimes they have social groups for autistic adults.

i have also seen groups for autistic adults on meetup.com, if you have not checked there.

Or could you start one? There must be autistic adults where you live, we are everywhere, just not always visible.

 

[grommet]

Understanding and safety ...so important.

Are there any autism societies where you live? Sometimes they have social groups for autistic adults.

i have also seen groups for autistic adults on meetup.com, if you have not checked there.

Or could you start one? There must be autistic adults where you live, we are everywhere, just not always visible.

Thank you. There is a group in my city through Meetup. I used to go to the meetings. It is too hard for me to get to the meetings now. Long bus rides. I do not know if I can go to those meetings again. Even when I did, there was not enough socializing for me. Autistic people understand each other but we can have bad social skills and that can make it hard for us to be together socially successfully. I do not know what the answer for me is. I do not think I could organize my own Meetup group. I would not want that responsibility. I thought about attending groups with interests that were most likely to attract autistic people. I am still thinking about that.

 

[the_tortoise]

thought about attending groups with interests that were most likely to attract autistic people. I am still thinking about that.

This sounds like a very good idea.

 

[Streetwise]

Sometimes I have gone out for walks but I do not know why, I am very very nervous, scared even, when I am just walking around in public. I do not know what I am afraid of. It all just seems so random, the things they do. And they are so loud and rude, they are not very nice to each other, reaching in front of each other and shouting, not making way for each other. I do not understand that. So I go for walks trying to be less lonely but the whole time I know I am not like them so I come home feeling lonelier.

you need to see a therapist !this isn’t just autism ,it is autism and anxiety , go to the resources section on this forum and look at suicide hotline’s ,talk !to somebody on one of them .

 

[Kirsty]

Sometimes I have gone out for walks but I do not know why, I am very very nervous, scared even, when I am just walking around in public. I do not know what I am afraid of. It all just seems so random, the things they do. And they are so loud and rude, they are not very nice to each other, reaching in front of each other and shouting, not making way for each other. I do not understand that. So I go for walks trying to be less lonely but the whole time I know I am not like them so I come home feeling lonelier.

Therapy isn’t always necessary. I feel this way most of the time in public and know it’s because I don’t have anyone with me for company. If I had company, (which is rare) I wouldn’t think as much about those around me than if I was alone in my head. Loneliness can have us overthinking which can lead to anxiety issues.

 

[Vinca]

Lonely