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Featured Living with an ASD as a Male or Female

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Sportster, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. Sportster

    Sportster Aged to Perfection V.I.P Member

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    . . .
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
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  2. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Do we live differently? I really believe that if we could all scrape off the NT residue and go back to our pure selves, I believe we would be more alike than different.

    I think NT men and women are vastly different from one another because they prescribe it to be so and thus, act it out.

    We think. We don't like labels (unless we are shooting for passing as NT), we don't like layering ourselves with fake.

    So, because we are like that, I think we would be very much more alike one another than not alike.
     
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  3. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    I was always “corrected” for not being girly enough. I’m not naturally girly as my Deep South society defined it.

    Hiwever, I moved to NYC area, and suddenly I am very girly. I had no problems fitting in as an attractive woman.

    It’s about definitions. Which vary.
     
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  4. kay

    kay Well-Known Member

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    Can ASD women even stand to be at the salon???? I can't. The smells, and hair dryers, and oh my goodness, some stranger touching my toes!!!!! :eek:No. Not this ASD woman. Not going to be telling a hair dresser anything:rolleyes:.
     
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  5. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Well, the first thing that occurs to me on reading this is that you are drawing on stereotypes about how men and women are likely to behave and I think that both men and women on the spectrum are not likely to follow the (neurotypical) stereotypes. Actually, this is the exact kind of thing we spend our lives avoiding. There's absolutely no way you'd see me in a hair salon having a manicure - I can't speak for all people on the spectrum, but I don't care about these things.

    I don't think it's a male and female thing, people are just people with their own personalities and their own way of doing things. I just can't imagine and ASD guy slugging back a beer while telling his mates that he's on the spectrum - from what I see from members on this site, people like to be discreet and are very selective about who they choose to tell and that's not generally their style (though there might be exceptions) - it's a very personal thing.
     
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  6. Hdphn33

    Hdphn33 Tamers

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    I've observed that female aspies are often in successful relationships. I've observed that male aspies are often single.

    Did have a longer post on this but online gender discussions can be as a toxic as religion and politicical discussion so.... staying away from this one. :)
     
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  7. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    To literally answer such a question, let's just say that after an Aspie has spent some time here, I'd think/hope they'd not be inclined to so easily share their ASD with much of anyone without great thought beforehand. Regardless of gender.

    Though I can see how gender may involve greater and lesser accessibility in terms of communicating in general. Considerations of gender without any particular neurological distinctions. At least from my own perspective. That women have always been more inclined to discuss subjects with far fewer "barriers".
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2018
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  8. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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  9. Origins

    Origins Member

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    :tonguewink: You got me there. Hate the smell of chemicals for perming. Too worried that hair dryer might cook my hair. My fingers are so sensitive that they bleed with the slightest push from the manicurist. She got so scared that she had to stop. That explains my manly looking fingernails. No excessive pushing, no deep cleaning and no nail polish ever.
     
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  10. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Do you have hairy toes?
    I thought salons were for haircuts.
     
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  11. kay

    kay Well-Known Member

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    I think some salons do both. I don't know, on television the women seem to get everything done in one place. I do have a few hairs on my big toes though so perhaps some toe styling would be in order:p. Maybe a couple of toe bows?
     
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  12. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    There's a new trend right there. Toe bows.

    Stick your feet in a bucket of fish
    Then get your toe bows.
     
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  13. kay

    kay Well-Known Member

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    Oh, I have heard of the bucket of fish thing. Why pay for that when you can just go wading in a creek? I will start the toe bow business tomorrow and apply for Shark Tank and make that first million. I can become a toe styling mogul! (joking about the toe bows, don't ask about warranties and prices.:D)
     
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  14. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    oh a salon virgin! try it ! get yourself waxed ! -get a brazilian !i wont describe a brazilian !
     
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  15. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    Bucking gender expectations can work for a person if they own it. All of my romantic interests have really enjoyed my liking action movies, speaking my mind, and not hinting about what I want.

    Likewise, a man who owns his feelings and is able to be a good listener gets a lot of points with me.

    Our unconventionality can work for us if we have open minded people around us.
     
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  16. thatmattattack

    thatmattattack Na Na Na Matt Man

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    I don't know if I necessarily agree with this sentiment.

    Perhaps, on the face of it, it sounds and looks right, but if recent history and current events have taught me anything it's that disclosing one's mental health status and/or disability is very different than the stereotypical view of women with their girlfriends gossiping away about who is dating who and other such topics. Not to mention that the latter conversation is considered superficial while the former is arriving at serious conversation territory.

    I, again, can contend that it can certainly appear like women -- both ASD and NT -- have fewer conversation thresholds to get through to get to "juicier" or more intimate conversations and confessions, but I believe it would be ingenuine to think that this is not something that society a) reinforces, b) highly conceptualizes into "acceptable" and "unacceptable" when it comes to topics covered, and c) quickly politicizes and shames women -- once more, both ASD and NT -- who do not readily and enthusiastically observe these unwritten rules.

    There is also the whole aspect of ASD -- Aspergers in particular -- being considered a "male" disorder in the minds of many and often without regard to what their demographic is as I have met and talked to autistic individuals (men and women) who think this way despite having the ability to know better or at least seek more unbiased and accurate information.

    With that said, I am firmly a man and thus do not and could not ever know the entire picture of being autistic woman, so please feel free to offer me your opinion if you feel that it does not align with your own personal and lived experiences.
     
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  17. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    Women can instantly talk about a new bit of celebrity gossip and men can instantly exchange views on sports. These are universal ice-breakers in most American cultures. Even if they don't interest us personally.

    In many sub-cultures, it's expected to see women chatting away face to face, while men might feel more comfortable shouting inarticulate encouragement at the same TV screen. It doesn't look like it, but it is the same level of interaction.
     
  18. Alis1998

    Alis1998 Member

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    I can tolerate it too some expand when I sit in the chair instead of behind it. I don't mind the area that I work in as a hairdresser intern. But I think it isn't nessary the area what makes me feel cringy from head to toe, but the amount of things going on. Every burning sensation of chemicals on my head, the smells of shampoos, every siccors cut makes me anxious. It might is also a control-thing for me. Because normally im in charge of every smell, every chemical I use and every cut I hear. Besides that, I hate it when people touch me who arent familiar with my personal space, even co-workers. I have to say that the only way I tolerate it is because iknow I have to look professional.
     
  19. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    Likewise. At the age I am now, I can either go short or put long hair up, and I'm not a maintenance kind of gal; besides which, putting it up all day gives me headaches. So short it is, and I just remind myself everyone says it's flattering.
     
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