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Likability=Power

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by pelecanus87, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. pelecanus87

    pelecanus87 Well-Known Member

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    Not power in terms of domination or anything like that, but power in terms of being in the position to influence people, assert your will, and gain opportunities.

    I believe that people fundamentally want to assert themselves and be influential in this world and being on the spectrum makes being liked very difficult. Which makes it difficult to assert oneself in this world.

    Thoughts?
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath? V.I.P Member

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    Power in terms of domination is what NT's are using to keep us down. Take a look at Autism Speaks is doing.
     
  3. wight

    wight Well-Known Member

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    I suppose you are right or there wouldn't be articles written for the "work world" on how to be more likable, studies about its impact, etc.

    However, using the fact that people like you as a basis to get stuff (work, money, attention) from them is kind of creepy and manipulative.
     
  4. pelecanus87

    pelecanus87 Well-Known Member

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    I agree, but to be fair, most people don't do it as conscious manipulation. For example, as a new employee at work, many people will instinctively feel the need to quickly make "allies".
     
  5. Gracey

    Gracey Well-Known Member

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    Knowledge, confidence and a wholehearted belief in what you're doing may influence followers or change someones opinion?

    It maybe slightly easier if you're charismatic, look at cults and psychopaths ?

    Not made impossible by being on the spectrum though. If you believe, passionately in your project, others will pay attention.
     
  6. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes V.I.P Member

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    I think real power and freedom comes from not overly concerning oneself with how one is perceived by others.

    IMG_0716.JPG
     
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  7. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    I just do the best I can do with what I have. I try and be genuine in my mostly silent stoic weirdness.

    At work I suppose I am liked. I'm in charge, and I don't have people running away screaming or anything.
    We basically have a no turnover situation with the employees, so I just try and keep us productive and be appreciative for the jobs they do. I have mostly really good people to work with so I never try and pull any stunts that will change that.

    In my twisted view, it is to respect everyone and never look down on them. If they have messed up, I let them know I mess up also. Respect isn't given, it is earned. I try and earn and never force anyone to like me. So far so good. As for just casual chit chat... I suck and its a mess. I even want to run and hide at times, seriously. So in that case likability and power both go out the window... So will I if you turn away for a second...

    I make for a great escape artist at times. : )
     
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    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Dadwith2Autisticsons

    Dadwith2Autisticsons Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I personally do not think likability is power, as then why are some of the biggest unlikeable persons in powerful or professional positions? A likeable person to me is a nice person, one that is not too arrogant, dishonest, immoral and unethical. To me, a likable person should not prioritize personal achievement, or be obsessed with their own happiness, but instead have caring, unselfish and down to earth qualities.

    What I find is power is self-esteem and knowledge or intelligence, and I would add things like communication ability, assertiveness, sexual attractiveness, and self-motivation, to name a few more. Sometimes having just one of these can take someone very far, but sometimes a few or more such traits are needed. Unfortunately, being too honest, pleasing, and too quiet, doubting or hypersensitive are not the best ways for most to succeed.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. nowwhat

    nowwhat Well-Known Member

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    More succinctly put: Politics

    We are bad at at. Perhaps worse than at any other single thing.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. The Midge

    The Midge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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  11. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Sorry chance I had to laugh slightly hysterically when you said they don't run away screaming
     
  12. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Zero staff turnover = good management.

    You can't hide from that.
    trying to convince us that you're maddy mcmadface..

    Not going to work. You're going to have to step up your game,buster. You're not mad in the slightest....
    :)
     
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  13. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    Maybe not Maddy Mcmadface, more like Marty McFly... I don't know what the hell I even doing sometimes but somehow it just works out...

    Seriously we have a good thing going. Of course there are days from hell (thats anywhere). Its a golf course and camping resort. People get upset about stupid stuff, and treat people ugly just like anywhere else.
    For the most part (with the exception of a couple of part -time guys who are a small nightmare at times) we are a close nit group of people. I learned from my old boss (before I took his place) to NEVER treat people the way he did. Or even worse never treat people like they treated me as they have treated me all my life...
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1