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Life Tips for Living with Autism

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by cr0w, Jun 1, 2020.

  1. cr0w

    cr0w New Member

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    Hi, this is my first post so I hope it's all in the right place.

    I have really struggled recently with coexisting in an NT world and so I wanted to make this thread for people to share any life advice or strategies that have made their lives easier (and I'm not trying to just change my Aspergers, I just want to be functioning better than I am now). I would love to hear any advice you guys have on tips on social cues, ways to improve memory, help with social anxiety, etc (just anything relating to your Aspergers/autism!)

    I'll share one that has really helped me during quarantine:
    Planning my day

    This was really big for me because I get scatterbrained a lot and forget important things I have to do. So at the start of every week I will plan my week and put important appointments, assignment due dates, and other things I wish to accomplish in the day (like exercise, or water my plants). I know its simple, but it is something I did not get the hang of when I started college and I really struggled with completing daily tasks. It also makes me happy to be able to cross an item off the list and gives me a sense of accomplishment even if it is something as simple as watering my plants.
     
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  2. Giraffes

    Giraffes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi crOw i find yoga and meditation halts a panic attack and anxiety due to over proccessing, also going for a jog and doing a weights session. Simple or not increasing predictability via time-tables/schedules is a habit i share with you and when i was coming out the other side from a depressive bout i scheduled all in my life------- 1. get out of bed. 2. have a shower, how detailed or fluid the 'schedule' is linked to my anxiety levels.
     
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  3. Nervous Rex

    Nervous Rex High-functioning autistic V.I.P Member

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    Welcome, @cr0w, and that's great advice!

    I set out as much as I can the night before - my clothes, the parts of my breakfast that it's okay to leave out overnight, etc. Generally, anything that reduces the number of things that I have to keep track of or think about is a good thing.

    This kind of how-to-get-by advice is one of my favorite parts of this forum. I like to see what works for others and get new ideas for myself. Thank you for posting.
     
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  4. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I have a strong tendency (that became more ingrained as I aged) to not like or want to make sudden changes or alterations to what I am doing or planning to do. Over time and with helpful input from my wife I have seen this is just some sort of emotional/defensive reaction related at least in part to autism and not really logic based. So rather then instinctively say no, or react negatively I try if at all possible to take some time out to process the change, kind of run thru it in my mind and usually there really isn't any problem with it and I can adapt.

    As a common example we need to stop to eat, and I will on my own default to a place I am familiar with and get the same meal I always get. But my wife wants something different. In my review I think about the last few times we stopped and if they have been mostly my preferrence I will think it's her fair turn to chose.

    Really two strategies here. Coping with changes and maintaining fairness in a relationship, whether it be a spouse/partner or family or friend.
     
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  5. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome @cr0w

    Glad to have you with us
     
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  6. Giraffes

    Giraffes Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    No long after i had my diagnosis i was filled with echos of the person who gave me it of the promise that the world was now mine, and society would alknowledge and embrance my difference. So for the first three jobs i applied for i .................
    1. Declared my Aspergers
    2. In the box 'what can we do do help/accommodate you. I asked to visit the room where i would be interviewed and be e-mailed photo's of those who would be interviewing me.
    3. that no clock would be in the room.. (ticking of any kind distracts me)

    I did this as for myself the more information i have about a new situation the less anxiety i feel.Two out of three did as i asked, within some of my jobs working for N/D individuals schedules either pictorial or written and as much detail concerning change or a new experience has often been useful to reduce anxiety.
    I did get one of those jobs but unfortunately my masking ability to 'fit in' and the managers and my colleagues inability to maintain any reasonable adjustments led to me being fired.
    Now considerably older and wiser i choose not to declaire my Autism as i belief people generally have a poor understanding of N/D individuals.
     
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  7. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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  8. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    I try to be organized and structured in my daily routines. But somehow it always deteriorates. Too scatterbrained to maintain it. But at least during the times I am asserting myself more I enjoy little victories of getting things done.
     
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  9. cnn

    cnn Let`s talk

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    Good Morning C. R. Zero. W.

    I have difficulty in motivating myself for the physical world and I am prone to sink into my mind Oasis, so keeping myself going, pushing forward, reaching out consumes a lot of energy.

    I try to have clear cut, close to heart and lifestyle, rather long term goals, so do not hesitate to point your shortcomings and look for feasible ways to improve.

    Having reliable go to, call to partners, friends are important. I keep a high quality, low quantity social circle. They do not need me much, but they know that I am there for them. Take care of your friendships.

    Unlike some here, I never had "the right person" in my life. I am decent in appearance, I had some number of flirts, but I m bad at reading them. For us, right person can make a gigantic difference. Do not rush into flirt, but pay attention. Mind connection is important.

    Feeling good about yourself is important. Be cool!!! It will make you feel better and positive attitude brings people in.

    If you can, save some money, even if it is tiny banknotes or enough for a week.

    Buildup a living environment.

    I hope some of them resonates with you.
     
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  10. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I agree with this very much it's very good to have a structured routine
     
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  11. cr0w

    cr0w New Member

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    Really love this one and for sure will keep in mind in the future. I often get super stressed if I think about how much I have to do so this for sure is a great tip to ease my load. And thank you to everyone else who has responded already too these are great suggestions and I am learning a lot!
     
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  12. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    It's gotten so bad for me that when I have to get out the door to go do something, I have to watch my hand so I don't set keys or important documents down somewhere and create a whole new problem by losing something that I had already located and had in my possession.

    It's hard when people don't realize that things that seem easy are hard for me, and then I am mad at myself and others are mad at me for having severe difficulties with things that others don't find to be particularly difficult because everything is misunderstood

    Anyway, thanks for sharing. It clears the head to find out you are not the only one
     
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  13. Ezra

    Ezra Relax, it's just chaos.

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    My problem is I get so focused on one thing, other things get pushed off to the side.
     
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  14. mw2530

    mw2530 Well-Known Member

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    I'll be honest, I skimmed a few of the posts, but did not read everything. Based on your title, I will offer one piece of advice. I would say to not put too much stock in other people's opinions or criticisms. You certainly can learn a lot from others, but others can also throw you off your path. Especially considering most people really don't have an accurate mental framework of how ASD affects your life. What may be right for them, may often times be wrong for you. Put more faith and trust in your feelings and listen to them when making difficult decisions.
     
  15. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    honestly, my problem is having so many things I could be doing and accepting my limitations while still trying to find a way to work with them
     
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  16. Jenisautistic

    Jenisautistic Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    but that at times could also be good if its a cause or special interest you can try to harness it
     
  17. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Along with some others here, I found it good when I realised that rumination on the remarks of others, or on how others related to me, and I to them, was part of how my autistic brain works, rather than being worthwhile time that led to anything helpful, and now I find it best to distract myself from this type of hyper vigilant focus. Move on. Have a snack. Read a book. Watch a film. Groom the cat.
     
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