Larger social events

[daniegirl6224]

Sorry for so many posts, lots going through my head today. Does anyone here actually enjoy larger social events? I find them so overstimulating & I feel lost & anxious & can’t follow or relate to conversations. Is this how it is for all of us? Or is there room for growth? Just curious if it will always be this way or if it is something I can work on.
My partner is currently at a social event (I was invited but chose not to go) and I feel bad for not being there.
Thank you.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I have never enjoyed them. I go to great lengths to avoid them.

 

[Judge]

Sorry for so many posts, lots going through my head today. Does anyone here actually enjoy larger social events? I find them so overstimulating & I feel lost & anxious & can’t follow or relate to conversations. Is this how it is for all of us? Or is there room for growth? Just curious if it will always be this way or if it is something I can work on.
My partner is currently at a social event (I was invited but chose not to go) and I feel bad for not being there.
Thank you.

Don't feel bad about it. At least not here. We get you, and profoundly in some cases.

Large social occasions involving work were always the worst for me, mostly because I didn't have the option of backing out of even showing. Similar to being a child when I was expected to attend formal occasions to mingle with the kids of fellow naval officers. Something to date I still am bitter about. But in a military family where the patriarch is an officer, it just happens.

Yeah, the most important element in this equation is one you are clearly concerned with. What your NT significant other thinks. Frequently an issue in my relationships with NT women, who didn't always appreciate me being an introvert.

Will it always be this way? I think that's a question we can only ask of ourselves. Much too complicated to speculate on the life of another fellow Aspie. At least IMO...

 

[Sherlock77]

I just came back from a social event, an art gallery reception... Some areas of it were quite crowded, others not as much... There were a few people I know also in attendance, had brief chats with them, just catching up, etc... I was there for a little over two hours, right up to when it ended at 9 PM

But there is a point where I tend to withdraw and head out, but I've also found that there is generally a peak of most activity at a certain point, and that is typically only for an hour or so, at least with arts and culture related events

I did also meet a fellow Autistic lady, we have met before via the internet and an online support group, had a nice talk with her... She told me that she struggles with such events, but will go with a friend for mutual support, and even then reaches a limit

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I have been going to many of them recently for a awhile, and it burned me out stressed me so bad I became really bitter antisocial and angry all trying to be social and make new friends meet people.

I now stay recently home half the time now and only go out to stabled social events smaller that I know. I occasionally might try one new event if I know at least one or more people already.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I pick and choose those events carefully. A physician friend of mine recently retired and we were throwing him a big retirement party, over 100 people in a conference room at a downtown restaurant and bar/night club. I WAS going to make an appearance for him, but after talking with him for several minutes, did make the "rounds" with my wife in tow, we decided to leave after about 45 minutes. Too noisy, all the talking, the loud music, all the people, it was just too much.

Get any more than say 10 people in a room and I am out, or at least in a quiet corner, if possible.

Even when the family gets together, people I actually like and can talk to, once a group conversation begins, I am in the other room. Nothing personal, it's just a bit much for me.

I do like going to say, orchid shows with my wife, but I am there amongst people with a similar interest and I am looking to purchase orchids. I have a purpose in mind. I don't spend a lot of time. I am in and out within about 45 minutes.

 

[Outdated]

For me it depends very much on what type of social event, if the whole focus of the event is on socialising, such as the work Christmas party, then I'm not going. I've gone to a couple of events involving autistic people and autism research and really enjoyed myself.

On of them was a series of seminars where the federal government was asking autistic people for live responses to proposed policies and issues. Each seminar was with a group of 20 people and lasted 90 minutes. There's no way known to man that 20 autistic people can get to say everything they want in a 90 minute window and sure enough the group I was with ran over time by another 60 minutes, and even then most of us hadn't finished talking so we all went to the pub together afterwards and talked for another couple of hours. I really enjoyed that one.

I have another even to go to in a couple of week's time, again for autistic people, it's the launch of a new web resource a bunch of us have worked on over the the last few months to encourage employers to consider autistic people and the advantages they can gain from that. I'm looking forward to that.

Then 2 days after that I fly to Brisbane for a 4 day face to face seminar with a lot of other autistic people, I'm looking forward to that too. It's not going to be as exciting as I first thought because where we're staying isn't in the city, but I'm still really looking forward to meeting everyone in person.

 

[Jumpinbare]

For me it depends very much on what type of social event, if the whole focus of the event is on socialising, such as the work Christmas party, then I'm not going.

Yep, that's me. The exception being family Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those I endure.

I will attend an event with a purpose where I can accomplish what I am going for fairly quickly and leave. For example Orlando has one of the largest Ham Radio gatherings in the world, where new and used equipment are on sale at good bargains. I live about 30 minutes away from there, so I usually go. Once I have bought what I am looking for, I leave. (Which also keeps me out of the massive traffic of everyone leaving at the end of the day.)

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I love anime, but you would not catch me ever at a convention.

 

[Masked Man]

I mostly avoid them. I can handle them for a while but I need time to get away and recharge. The last large event I went to was last summer I went to a convention in Chicago for 2 days. I had my own hotel room that I was able to go back to from time to time, but luckily the crowds weren't too bad.