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Featured keep thinking about my ex

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by karen davis, Jan 9, 2020.

  1. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Hi
    l was in a relationship with a guy who has aspergers l wandered does anyone know if they miss you after they break up with you. l know hes seeking sex from other woman because he told me, so l guess that means he doesnt miss me. l didnt want the split l wanted to work through our problems. l had trouble understanding why he would say odd things and do odd things which were hurtful to me. The sad thing is at the time l didnt say l was sad that he did that and l struggled to turn it around so we could still be good together and still love each other. Does anyone understand this, im not very good at explaining myself. Thankyou
     
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  2. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

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    It’s dependent on the person, not the Aspergers. Every person with Aspergers is different, so we can’t tell you whether he misses you or not or whether him having sex with other women means he doesn’t miss you.
     
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  3. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Thankyou for you respnse do you have aspergers
     
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  4. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hi Karen,
    Welcome to the forums, sorry it's under not so great conditions..
    I agree with Bolletje, (and yes, Asperger's here too).
    Sex for me is not correlated with love. I can love someone I never have sex with, and have sex with someone I would never love. So trying to correlate his having sex with other women as meaningful to whether he misses you is likely a fruitless effort.

    My main concern for you is that it sounds like your relationship is definitively over.. But you're here trying trying to figure out him instead of worrying about yourself.
    Do you have some reason to hope that this is a recoverable relationship still? How long were you together?
     
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  5. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    As Bolletje said, it depends on the person. We are just as diverse in personality as NT people are. The only way to know whether he misses you or not is to ask him, but the fact that he is looking for other partners indicates that he has at least started to move on, and you should too.
     
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  6. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Hi thankyou for explaining it to me, l understand now. Yes your right l must move on and right myself and my future.
    Thankyou so much
     
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  7. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    I just wish l went on this thread when we were in a relationship we would still be together. Nevermind move on my head is but my heart wont yet but l will get there. Thanku for giving me nice comments back. Everybody
     
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  8. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    This sort of thing isn't differentiated by neurotype.

    o.png
     
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  9. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    thankyou tom appreciate your reply
     
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  10. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Hi Nazar,
    We were together 10 years, this is our second try at this relationship. l think if l had come on the post a few months ago we would still be together. l didnt understand some of his behavior l kept researching what l had problems with but still didnt really understand it or him. You explained it so l understand it. lts just a shame its too late but thankyou so much for explaining it to me
     
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  11. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, it is unfortunate that the issue couldn't be addressed earlier.. But let's not let him off the hook so easily either. He had just as much responsibility to make your relationship work as you. Perhaps *he* should have been on here trying to get a better understanding of his own behaviour so he could better communicate with you.

    Either way, I'm glad you're going to focus on your own healing process. :)
     
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  12. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Thankyou you are so right, l will thankyou very much for your help
     
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  13. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    Sorry Nazar got your name wrong, you sound so sensible shame he wouldnt nevermind maybe its for the best, im not sure if he had a bit of narcissistic in him as well dont know
     
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  14. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member

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    Relationships end. People move on. This is true whether one partner is autistic or not. Your relationship lasted a decade, so I doubt that joining an autism forum a few months ago would have made any difference. Aside from that, we see a lot of posts on here from brand new members basically blaming their relationship issues on their boyfriend’s autism. It’s less painful to blame a neurotype than to accept that your boyfriend simply doesn’t want to be with you anymore. That’s the hard truth of it.
     
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  15. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    I appreciate your view, l am not blaming him. l am willing to take my part of blame, which is if l didnt understand why he said what he said l should of said to him why did you say that but l didnt l let it carry on and it festered and then l would fall out with him. Think its blame on both sides so thankyou for remnding me. Nevermind we had so. e lovely moments wont forget them and l shall mve on thankyou all take care
     
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  16. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I still occasionally think about one who dumped me some 33 years ago.

    Does it serve me any practical purpose to do so ? -No. :oops:

    Besides, I doubt she's thought of me at all in those 33 years...
     
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  17. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    l shant be thinking about my ex in years to come, l will have another boyfreind hopefully lol
     
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  18. tducey

    tducey Well-Known Member

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    As I've often there are different forms of Aspergers and we all have different ways of dealing with stuff. I could go through a hard time with a breakup and yet your ex might not. Depends on the person and situation.
     
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  19. karen davis

    karen davis Active Member

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    ok thankyou for your feedback
     
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  20. Bronzelincolns

    Bronzelincolns Well-Known Member

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    well, if he saw you as nothing more than a sexual mark he may swing back around when the well runs dry.

    but as others have said already, neurotype isn't a factor here.
     
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