Just venting family issue

[LostInSilentHill]

I just need to talk about an issue I have.

I recently told my mother about my ASD diagnoses and at first she was understanding but the next day she told me that the doctor was wrong. She says that before my abuse (When I was 4+) I was a perfectly normal child 'who didn't mind playing alone' (Whatever that means).

She goes on to say that I am a very smart person who got all A's in school.... I did not. I have a long history with behavioural problems in life (I was a special needs student) and did terribly in school. I hated it and often left class or paid little attention when I stayed (It was very overstimulating).

Her memories seem to be... flawed and I'm not sure what to do with it. My brothers are all understanding but my mother seems to be purposely obtuse to the matter. I don't know what to do. She want's me to be active in her life but won't accept me or my 'issues'. She gives me trouble constantly for doing something out of the norm or not being empathetic with. She didn't used to be this way so I just don't know what has changed.

Any Advice?

(My step-father does not believe in mental illness so he has stayed completely out of it).

 

[Tanya]

Well judging by your photo, you look pretty much grown up. It's a shame your mother is dealing with your issues through denial. Maybe she is secretly blaming herself for something? Anyway maybe this is a sign that you should become a little more independent. Hopefully you have some kind of support system in place? I hope this helps.

 

[paloftoon]

Maybe she accepted it at first because she didn't know what to think. Right now, she could be in denial because she may not be able to understand how to capitalize on your strengths and may not know how she can support you. Maybe dementia could be setting in slowly I would recommend for your own support, look for support groups and social groups that fit your interests if possible.

She might be at the point where you need to start taking care of her instead. All you can do is your best. It might be good to not mention the bad things happening in your life to your mother anymore if you don't have to, and just finding ways and other people and resources to help you out instead.

Depending on the context, and if you live close to each other or not, being active in her life could be eating out, shopping with her, exercising with her for example. Or, if she lives far away, then a phone call or e-mail and then an in-person visit at least 1-3 times a year if feasible. If you like word games, take her to Scrabble clubs if possible. Keeping the mind active is supposed to help prevent dementia!