Just Received ASD diagnosis

[JRMI2021]

Hello all,

I just received a diagnosis of ASD four days ago (I'm over 40 y/o); also, diagnosed w/ADHD. I read an e-book awhile back that made me wonder if I could, also, be on the spectrum but I wasn't sure as I hadn't yet spoke with a professional to get an official diagnosis. I didn't want to, in a parallel way, diagnose myself by reading a bunch of stuff on WebMD.

I'm not really sure that I'm feeling about my diagnosis. I'm not angry nor sad. With my diagnoses, a lot of my behavior makes tons of sense. It's just that nothing that I did was extremely pronounced nor obvious, so nobody outside of me would have suspected anything. On occasion, I would stick my foot in my mouth. I know a bunch of stuff in various areas that makes people wondering how I know about X thing. I have adjusted to change but I'm not super fond of it. I like knowing what to expect in advance (ex. asking my wife what we have going on for the weekend). When we started dating, my wife had to coach me to smile for photos; now, I can smile for photos like second nature. I get frustrated or upset when things don't go how I want them when I wish. Maybe it's been me molding myself to the world around me.

I found this website through an Internet search. I guess that I'm looking for is finding people that can help me through my journey of making sense of who I am through the lens of my diagnoses.

 

[tree]

 

[MyLifeAsAnAspie]

Hi and welcome to the forums .

 

[Wolfsage]

Hello.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome! Indeed there's lots of resources online and in print, and over the years there's been a wide variety of topics discussed here with lots of insightful info

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Welcome. You can decide which doors you want to open.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, there are interesting discussions here and people who may have strategies for some challenges aswell as similarities to what you experience. I hope you enjoy it here.

 

[Alexej]

...a lot of my behavior makes tons of sense. ...

I guess that I'm looking for is finding people that can help me through my journey of making sense of who I am through the lens of my diagnoses.

Hi And Welcome

You have come to a good place to get info to make sense of the diagnosis.
Lots us in here have been/still are on that journey.

Pull up a chair and join in the conversation,
Also have a loot at some older threads - there is lots of good info there too.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Hello and welcome.

Any time someone is introduced to something new, I would hope there would be a lot of questions, as it means some degree of intellectual curiosity. That said, sometimes, because you are new to a topic, you still have not the foundation to know what to ask because those questions have not even entered your mind yet.

It is a journey for many of us "late diagnosis" folks. It's not like there was any such thing as an "autism spectrum" when we were children. Our parents, pediatricians, and school teachers were unaware,...rather,...we were simply punished for our "behavior issues". Some of us were socially inept, some were bullied, some didn't have the usual childhood friendship relationships,...and some,...were taken advantage of physically, mentally, and sexually. So, it is not uncommon to see oneself as a "survivor" of sorts,...but some have a lot of mental scars to show for it.

As many on here know already, I am one of those people that has dealt with my autism through many hours of self-education. I am in healthcare and education in my professional life, so sitting for hours taking "deep dives" into the scientific data bases is normal daily activity. What I have learned is that there is what I call "a disturbing amount of false information" on the general internet. If you are not into scientific journals, but want to "ease" into it a bit, go onto YouTube and look for lectures by Drs. Tony Attwood, Simon Cohen-Baron, and Temple Grandin. You can take some of the on-line autism tests from Cambridge University, the Autism Quotient (AQ), Empathy Quotient (EQ), Systemizing Quotient (SQ), and the Eyes Test to see where you lie within the spectrum. There are social media outlets like this one, here. There are YouTube channels for those on the spectrum. There are some interesting TEDx talks on YouTube, as well. What you are likely to find out is that you probably have had all sorts of intellectual and sensory issues that you have been hiding or pushing into the background that you had no idea was part of your autism. It could be little things like, "Why can't I play fast-paced card games with the family?" "Why is it that I feel emotionally, mentally, and physically "trashed" after a day of heavy social interaction?" "Why is it I have 5 different frequencies of ringing in my ears,...24/7,...my entire life?" "How is it that I can see and hear things that others cannot,...but have a hard time smelling the skunk that just sprayed the dog in the face?" The lists that people here have will astound you. When I was preparing for my very first interview with the psychologist, I had made a list of over 150 distinct things that I thought (but didn't know) were a bit "odd". It really helped her with the diagnosis,...but having said that,...and have done a lot more research,...I could add another 20 or so things.

You are married. So there is another element to your life that has to be dealt with,...your wife. I have been married for almost 34 years,...almost 36 years with her exclusively. She "thought" she knew me. She is a very intelligent nurse and understands quite a bit,...but,...when I had her go for the interview with me, and later had my diagnosis, I was sensing some degree of denial. Over a year later,...still some denial,...even though I had "ASD" written all over me. In fact, just yesterday, she asked me about this forum,..."What do you get out of it?" It's those little questions that pop up from time to time that make me think she is still in her "process" of acceptance. I know she absolutely will not sit down and watch one of those TEDx talks or autism lectures or YouTube channel episodes,...she is very up front that she has no interest.

At any rate, there is much to be learned and accepted by you and the people in your life. It is a process.

From a personal perspective,...one of the better TEDx talks:

 

[clg114]

Welcome to Autism Forums!

 

[Shamar]

Hello all,

I just received a diagnosis of ASD four days ago (I'm over 40 y/o); also, diagnosed w/ADHD. I read an e-book awhile back that made me wonder if I could, also, be on the spectrum but I wasn't sure as I hadn't yet spoke with a professional to get an official diagnosis. I didn't want to, in a parallel way, diagnose myself by reading a bunch of stuff on WebMD.

I'm not really sure that I'm feeling about my diagnosis. I'm not angry nor sad. With my diagnoses, a lot of my behavior makes tons of sense. It's just that nothing that I did was extremely pronounced nor obvious, so nobody outside of me would have suspected anything. On occasion, I would stick my foot in my mouth. I know a bunch of stuff in various areas that makes people wondering how I know about X thing. I have adjusted to change but I'm not super fond of it. I like knowing what to expect in advance (ex. asking my wife what we have going on for the weekend). When we started dating, my wife had to coach me to smile for photos; now, I can smile for photos like second nature. I get frustrated or upset when things don't go how I want them when I wish. Maybe it's been me molding myself to the world around me.

I found this website through an Internet search. I guess that I'm looking for is finding people that can help me through my journey of making sense of who I am through the lens of my diagnoses.

Hi. I know exactly how you feel. I was diagnosed nearly ten years ago at age sixty. As you noticed, a lot of questions have been answered. As time goes one, you will continue to find answers as you learn more and reach an understanding of ASD. I came to terms with the diagnosis itself rather quickly, because it explained so much. What I still have trouble with is coming to terms with what the late diagnosis did as opposed to what me life could have been had there been an earlier as a child. It still hurts.

This forum is a good place to start learning. There is lots of information here and people willing to support and help each other.

 

[Alexej]

From a personal perspective,...one of the better TEDx talks:

Thanks so much for the link to the talk - definitely one of the better talks I have viewed. I did not realise that 9% of autistics get married

 

[JRMI2021]

Hello and welcome.

Any time someone is introduced to something new, I would hope there would be a lot of questions, as it means some degree of intellectual curiosity. That said, sometimes, because you are new to a topic, you still have not the foundation to know what to ask because those questions have not even entered your mind yet.

It is a journey for many of us "late diagnosis" folks. It's not like there was any such thing as an "autism spectrum" when we were children. Our parents, pediatricians, and school teachers were unaware,...rather,...we were simply punished for our "behavior issues". Some of us were socially inept, some were bullied, some didn't have the usual childhood friendship relationships,...and some,...were taken advantage of physically, mentally, and sexually. So, it is not uncommon to see oneself as a "survivor" of sorts,...but some have a lot of mental scars to show for it.

As many on here know already, I am one of those people that has dealt with my autism through many hours of self-education. I am in healthcare and education in my professional life, so sitting for hours taking "deep dives" into the scientific data bases is normal daily activity. What I have learned is that there is what I call "a disturbing amount of false information" on the general internet. If you are not into scientific journals, but want to "ease" into it a bit, go onto YouTube and look for lectures by Drs. Tony Attwood, Simon Cohen-Baron, and Temple Grandin. You can take some of the on-line autism tests from Cambridge University, the Autism Quotient (AQ), Empathy Quotient (EQ), Systemizing Quotient (SQ), and the Eyes Test to see where you lie within the spectrum. There are social media outlets like this one, here. There are YouTube channels for those on the spectrum. There are some interesting TEDx talks on YouTube, as well. What you are likely to find out is that you probably have had all sorts of intellectual and sensory issues that you have been hiding or pushing into the background that you had no idea was part of your autism. It could be little things like, "Why can't I play fast-paced card games with the family?" "Why is it that I feel emotionally, mentally, and physically "trashed" after a day of heavy social interaction?" "Why is it I have 5 different frequencies of ringing in my ears,...24/7,...my entire life?" "How is it that I can see and hear things that others cannot,...but have a hard time smelling the skunk that just sprayed the dog in the face?" The lists that people here have will astound you. When I was preparing for my very first interview with the psychologist, I had made a list of over 150 distinct things that I thought (but didn't know) were a bit "odd". It really helped her with the diagnosis,...but having said that,...and have done a lot more research,...I could add another 20 or so things.

You are married. So there is another element to your life that has to be dealt with,...your wife. I have been married for almost 34 years,...almost 36 years with her exclusively. She "thought" she knew me. She is a very intelligent nurse and understands quite a bit,...but,...when I had her go for the interview with me, and later had my diagnosis, I was sensing some degree of denial. Over a year later,...still some denial,...even though I had "ASD" written all over me. In fact, just yesterday, she asked me about this forum,..."What do you get out of it?" It's those little questions that pop up from time to time that make me think she is still in her "process" of acceptance. I know she absolutely will not sit down and watch one of those TEDx talks or autism lectures or YouTube channel episodes,...she is very up front that she has no interest.

At any rate, there is much to be learned and accepted by you and the people in your life. It is a process.

From a personal perspective,...one of the better TEDx talks:

Thank you for the kind words and perspective. Btw, it's interesting that you recommended that specific YouTube clip. As part of my research leading up to the appointment, where I received my diagnosis, I watched it.