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Judging/Analysing others is a autistic feat?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Imeguras, Apr 23, 2021.

Do you find yourself creeping on others lifes too often?

  1. Yes, i find myself often inspecting others in a new environment

    6 vote(s)
    35.3%
  2. Kinda, I do it frequently but not everywhere

    3 vote(s)
    17.6%
  3. Sometimes, but I rarely think about me doing it

    3 vote(s)
    17.6%
  4. Almost never only when the person is very flamboyant in some characteristic

    1 vote(s)
    5.9%
  5. No, I never do it

    4 vote(s)
    23.5%
  1. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    The title may be offensive or down right preposterous, but I always was curious, sometimes out of societies expectations, and one thing I usually do is judge/analyse others to the point of most neurotypical people thinking its creepy/stalker behavior like looking at some person outward appearance, posture, eyes, clothing, phone branding, and extrapolating a personality or a etho's out of that person, sometimes I do it out loud with friends just as commentary, which annoys a friend of mine seriously since its not only creepy.

    My intentions may not be the best, but normally I do it for finding friends, and it normally works(but maybe its a placebo from me not giving the others a shot but then again I've been proved right a lot more times than wrong), sometimes to fantasize(although the word carries a "positive" meaning it may not be the case) about what it would be like to be in a relationship with that person, to imitate, to meet, to make live commentary(don't know how to fully explain it, kinda like telling a story to myself on what is surrounding me)

    The thing is while talking to a autistic efriend (she also post's here), she says that she also does it frequently and that she thought everyone does it, so I'm kinda coming to the conclusion it may be an autistic thing.

    So is it? Do you find yourself creeping on others too often?
     
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  2. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Have you tried the Myers Briggs personality type indicator test? You can find free versions online, one aspect that is covered is Judging, although it may not line up completely with what you mean here, not sure. I always score quite low on it, the opposite characteristic in that test is called Perceiving, I seem to do that more, and get a result of INTP which seems relatively common amongst autistics here, as is ISTJ and maybe some other types, like INTJ.
     
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  3. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝️

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    I am not sure what you mean.
    I know that I misread emotions & body language, but I passively pick up details in others' speaking demeanor/patterns and in their writing voice. That is less true when I just meet a person, but it becomes clearer over time.

    Some people get creeped out by my level of analysis, but it isn't deliberate. And I don't stalk anyone apart from information that is publicly available.

    It is very similar to the ability to recognize some musicians or artists in their work.

    That "passive" analysis also gives me pause with glaring plot holes in fiction.
     
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  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    l don't want the title of stalker in my lifetime. l was stalked for 4 years by someone who l don't know. l ended up with someone very high up in the public protection services. He got the stalker after 2 years. It was very intense. It left me with a lot of PTSD. l was stalked for a total of 4 years by someone who l know absolutely nothing about. I went to hell as a result, and l never gave up who protected me.☺ He was able to retire from public service as the great person he was. l am proud l kept it together. But l also had a fantastic psychologist who was gold. Thank you to that beautiful man. Psychologists are just as great as psychiatrists.☺ It's amazing in life that we can never truly thank those people. Because their standing means they must stay anonymous.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2021
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  5. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    No, I get overinterest and inappropriate curiosity from others, a lot. It is creepy, but so many people are psychos these days.
     
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  6. Tom

    Tom Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Part of what you describe sounds like Sherlock Holmes. I don't think it a autism trait per se, but if you lean that way, the tendency to be especially interested might kick in, if you are on the spectrum.
     
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  7. Sherlock77

    Sherlock77 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You called? :D

    Guilty of this one (sometimes), actually I suspect I do it lots but am not always aware that I'm doing it... As someone else said in this discussion, I will only look for public information but tend to be curious, and will look things up about other people, just because I am curious... I also know that I enjoy hearing people's stories, what they have been through, their life story... As some know I do stranger portraits in my photography, and have been amazed how much some people will share to a complete stranger with a camera...
     
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  8. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member

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    @Imeguras
    What you are describing is similar of how a criminal "profiler" or a psychologist takes all the presented "clues" and then extrapolates upon how a person will likely behave or what kind of socioeconomic background they come from. Understandably, it may be fraught with error, especially for someone with low cognitive empathy that may have a difficult time accurately interpreting behavior and communication signals.

    I sort of do this in my personal life in order to fit in or make an impression. If I am going to visit relatives who live in a rural area, if I am going to work, or am going to a bank to apply for a loan, I am going to dress accordingly. If you just saw me someplace with dirty jeans, a T-shirt, and work boots, you might make some false assumptions about my socioeconomic status, because the next day, you might see me at the auto parts store with greasy, dirty clothing, grease under my nails and driving a vintage Mustang, the next you might see me wearing hospital scrubs and a lab coat, and the next day you might see me wearing a 3-piece suit and driving my new Tesla.

    The bottom line, people are not always as they may appear.
     
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  9. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    yuh, the clothing code is horrendous, I'm not average size, so I can't adopt their clothing styles.
     
  10. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    From what I know of psychology it's rooted in insecurity so it's any neurology
     
    Last edited: Apr 25, 2021
  11. The Lorax

    The Lorax Active Member

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    NTs are used to the NT world which is the average. Almost all NTs have no concept of the social struggles of autism. I suggest a channel called Charisma on Command. The guy is excellent at demonstrating social interactions. I would also get Pamela Moyer's book called Lie Spotting. Excellent foundational book that deals mostly with business to business interactions with body language.

    Be aware, and this comes from a brilliant psychologist I know, that people on the spectrum do not have an innate ability to read other people's emotions and body language... as you all know. But many also can't be taught it or it's very difficult to for them to learn it.

    Then on top of all this if your autism is noticeable enough it changes an NT's base behavior toward you which makes it even MORE difficult to understand them. Thus why I recommend the YT series above. You watch interactions and see NT vs NT interactions in their raw state unedited. The streamer explains the hows and whys.

    I am an NT and I know within seconds when I meet someone if they are on the spectrum. But I have studied body language and behavior. My wife and son both are on the spectrum. So I understand the perspective of both sides of the equation.

    I know it's tough. I tell my wife that to me an autistic person seems more normal than an NT. They are full of hangups, get offended easily, don't speak their mind, or speak in hints instead of saying it how it is. My be the Queens NY in me. In the North East and South East Florida people just say it how it is. There is no sugar coating. I lived in parts of the country that would drive me nuts because people were overly polite when their body language was saying something else. And if you got to the root of what they really thought they would get upset at you for it lol. Fricken other NTs.
     
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  12. Eric Greenland

    Eric Greenland New Member

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    Are you Yoda?
     
  13. The Lorax

    The Lorax Active Member

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    No I am the Lorax. The picture says so.
     
  14. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    I did but those are just so wishy washy, its like scientific astrology imo, there's a bunch of tests all with different boxes but in the real life you can't extrapolate a certain feature by applying a stereotype

    well i mean both passively and active analysis although sometimes i do it for fun so i guess this thread is mostly about a more obcessive passive analysis i think but we can keep it open so we can get to a more developed conclusion instead of just ending in a "no only you do it"
     
  15. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    ok many people are getting freaked out by the word stalker, although for me its more of a voyerism, just observing random people do day to day things without them noticing me gives me a bit of pleasure and makes me less nervous and more quiet
    It's still bad but i can't stop myself from doing it both passively and actively
     
  16. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    Well you are a VIP ;),
    Ok now seriously. I don't wanna harm you, but if its male attention you either A: are attractive and seem introverted B: you are quirky and nerdy/weird guy's find your interests, pose and general body gestures amusing and weird(in a quirky, positive way) this is assuming you are a female
    If its female attention, i would say its worse than the previous two, i heard the rat race in female groups is harsher psychologically than the male counterparts
    Im making assumptions and judging without any previous knowledge dont kill me plz
    ----
    also sorry for replying so suddenly to you guy's but i now rarely come here a revamp on this website would be great, if i had the money i would probably buy it and recode it so it has more features and gimmicks
     
  17. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    yeah i guess sometimes its kinda creepy because even though i mostly do voyerism, i kinda recall certain people which is ultra weird, for me, when i have to talk or interact with said people.
    Well exactly! i think i've said it before but maybe i have more than one behaviour, im very stupid emotionally thats why as soon as it is to talk about my feelings or intentions i normally end up unintentionally lying or contradicting myself sometimes its because of shame sometimes its because of me not being able to form a acurate picture of what was going on in my brain at the time
    Although lately i've been mostly ignoring those rules for myself, kinda because i wanted a new hairstyle for a while plus im not in the best mental health.
    well im not the most self confident guy but i guess saying this must be cliché in this day and age
    I already see charisma on command specially on confrontation(since i see it as either entering in a fight or taking the insult) although it seems to weird to memorize rules for socializing guess that comes with experience
    Fortunately or unfortunately due to me being on college now the rat race isnt so apparent, so bullying and "social"(can't say bad words) tests aren't as apparent or with the intent of hurting someones "social status", guess now it serves only to actually get where you are on the social ladder and promote/demote you on that
    But im derayling also i can't read books right now, adhd kinda makes it impossible to stay quiet but who knows what i have at this point
     
  18. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    OK finally i can now talk without it being a reply or a quote
    So i guess i will try to cut between behaviors or let you guys interpret it with real life examples feel free to judge! im need criticism to become a better person although i don't do any of this behaviors with the intent of hurting anyone
    So i guess i start with the first
    I kinda always been afraid or anxious of people whose gender matches extremes, and i mean gender in a more terfy way, ie a guy who is overly masculine or a guy who is very "fruity" and the opposite too. So naturally i passively look at people who match that description and maybe look for too long, although this isn't me actively looking for people who match the stereotype
    Then there are the colorful people, but i guess everyone does the same its just that i stare for longer than its conventionally acceptable, sometimes i do it actively analyzing all the details from "if he or she" is attractive, if they look ridiculous, what music genre's would they like, if we could be friends and all weird stuff, when i say colorful people i mean people that would make your culturally conservative, as in a non political one, parent would "complain" about looks or a general "stance", ie body modifications that are apparent, hair paiting in more bright unnatural colors, subculture people, and the list goes on and on. Sometimes i like to make jokes to my friend, which unlike me he is very culturally liberal which means he often gets bugged about me making immature jokes about said people. Although guess he now doesn't mind as much either because he got used to it or because im a negative influence on him.
    Now onto voyeurism: sometimes i do it passively stare for too long at people doing the most menial of things, from working, to even not doing anything at all, i just can't stop staring for longer than 2 sec's which may not seem much but irl I've gotten some "reminder's" that what im doing is weird or they don't appreciate it.
    Sometimes this voyeurism is more active: i climb to a more hidden place high place and enjoy seeing people walk, talk, doing their life without them noticing me or even being aware of my presence. Other times this takes a more stalky behavior, this one time i found this bland looking guy interesting and started making a myriad of extrapolations from what his personality would look like, etc... and i did this to a degree that he noticed it and became very weirded out about it so he made a face like me and i just naturally cried laughting because it made me remember on how ridiculous i must look in third person
    -cringe incoming i guess, specially if you are a female-
    Next one since im weird and my interests are very predominantly male oriented i don't get to meet a lot of female friends so as usual a creep ought to creep so sometimes when i see a attractive or just weird looking female i tend to just Analise her and extrapolate her tastes, and although the one that i kinda am more ashamed of saying: if she is dating or not, its not because i want to become her boyfriend or whatever, i never understood why, but i guess it has a more misogynistic/loser root to it because "a pretty girl can't be single" which rationally i know its false but i can't stop but feel like it specially because i haven't met many female's (well at least one's that get along really well with). Now i guess this next one is normal, if a girl is kinda cute imo and she's weird interested i naturally take a very special interest and this time it becomes even more creepy/weird since weird (cute) girls(that have unconventional interests, even more if they seem to have the same interests as me) are a unicorn.
    But i guess these are just behaviors of a lonely guy except the first i guess the first is just a mixture of me being a bit misogynistic and kinda having had few good friendships/relationships with girls
    ----
    OK maybe im talking too much about my real life but here's the one most people just feel repulsed to or become preoccupied with me
    I really like to go to lonely places. Its difficult to describe but i tend to seek out places that my mind deems "lonely" or "safe" and to achieve that the place has to be as hard to get to as possible. this results in me trespassing or down right "risking my life" to get a few hours alone ruminating on my head.
    A placed is ranked in my mind and every place as a certain ranking. but theres multiple values that make a "place" a good "place"
    those are:
    Visibility from others, if i can be completely naked without any concern the place is excellent
    Visibility to others, if i can see what people are doing or if it has a dynamic picture the place is great,(this includes for example a freeway or a view to a more populated street) this naturally implies that the place is on a hill.
    Space, if a place is claustrophobic, ie the smaller and darker the place the more comfortable it is
    Dimensional Space, if a place has space for my stuff and i can move around to other places (so a balance is made between the above, which results in a perfect place being normally very tight but long-wise)
    structural complexity, the more extreme this is the better so either a very simple I shaped room or space, or a very complex building(although i don't remember finding any place like this)
    Physical accessibility, the closer it is from my house or from my points of interests, the better, the harder it is for others to get to the better, although this balances with the easier it is to get to for me the better
    Legal accessibility, if others are afraid of getting to the place because it seems shady or is private property or dangerous to get, the better, this is the biggest factor and my favorite place is due to this factor right here
    Comfort, the place ought to be humid not windy and very dark, a cool but nice temperature is a bonus
    Electricity, this one is impossible and i have only found one place, it has an electrical outlet ready to use
    Wifi, this place has a private wifi (that i can break into, relax NSA, never done it)

    examples of my place's, (i hope i never become popular or people try to find this places because if i found anyone specially on places where i deem alone i would be put in a very stressful situation, but that ain't happening so here we go)
    my favourite place- includes a small trench that exists between public property and private property, the only way to get in there would be trepassing private property by passing barbed wire or walking about a km after jumping a gate, and although its "private" i think its state owned but i think they are planning to sell it the other way to get it (the way i most enjoy) is going up a dead end road passing through narowly throught where a fence ends, beware if you trip up theres a 15 meter drop behind you and you have about 10 cm's to put your feet in(but its an easy passing) then you have to walk beside the freeway(the part where i most hate because people get to see the crazy weirdo walking in the freeway) after about 15 meters i normally jump to the grass again and proceed to climb a very narrow hill which has a steretipical "fantasy book entry" theres about two rocks there where i like to sit, and my stuff, yes theres a box with weird stuff there which is where i store some things my mom would never allow to bring home in fact if she saw that. she would ask my psiquiatrist to double the medication dose
    this is the best place because its the only one where i deem worthy enought, i can be 100% naked that nobody would see me, i have an incredible view of the freeway and the adjacent places and i can finally "be myself" in my most crude, ugly way, i only showed this place to a friend of mine and i kinda regret a bit but it was such a cool place that i felt both proud and excited to show it. althought people who go on the freeway's most likely find it weird so...yeah... I've noticed some changes in the place as im very paranoid of having people be there, but i've concluded rain and bird's must've been the likely culprit's although some radical changes make me feel a bit more unconfortable the only reason i haven't moved out of that place is because i haven't found a better one, because its very steep making the only people that i know come there a unlikely occurence and because moving all the stuff i have there would be somewhat hard. im planning to build a little rock "house" along with digging a possible tunnel? so i can hide and sleep there
    my second favourite place is next to this one and its an industrial alleyway where theres an emergency exit, it provides shelter from rain, its dark the place is very well composed visually and recently i discovered the door is broken and i peaked inside the building and it seems very very cool, although i prefer the emergency exit because its very small and cozy, i normally use it when i go eating out alone since it doesnt require any fisical effort for me to get in, its not my favourite place specifically because a lot of people go there(sometimes i see a person and thats already a big no no) one time was funny cause i was eating my meal and a guy showed up with ciggaretes and since i don't make any noise since i was sitted down he just had a jumpscare seeing me there
    these are two of my favourite places in the next reply/quote i will post what disqualifies a place
     
  19. Imeguras

    Imeguras Member

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    OK so i've seen various places that were disqualified for some reason or another:
    The first one i recently saw was a place with some history since my female best-friend did some really weird stuff next to it so its burned in my memory. To get there you have to walk through a very unused small road in the middle of the city which made me very excited, and i got very bummed after it, and you reach to a very old, usual fork here where i live, unfortunately the place is very atractive for hobo's(like me) so it got very disapointed, since it had a strutural complexity that made it very pleasent to be there, it also was shady, sheltered and i might've had wifi(if the hospital wifi reached there.
    it also unfortunately was filled with thrash because the homeless people eat there and don't clean the place, Sometimes i wish i met a hobo to make friends since they must have nice stories and experience in life to tell me, but for me to talk to one without it being "weird" it would have to be in one of this spots and i would have to have an excuse
    OK the next site was also promising.
    it was into the middle of the wood's and inicially i thought no one got there, but i was again disapointed by joggers, and although most didn't see me i didn't felt like i was unseable and the place wasnt hard to get to so i stopped going there
    The next place is somewhat close to the last one, it includes this "abandoned" stone mining complex and although i've considered being there, it show's clear sign's of people having roam there plus its somewhat unclean and some joggers also pass there
    there's also a section near my home i like to walk by, but it isnt a place since its open, although very few people pass there and its not a "place" per say
     
  20. Ronald Zeeman

    Ronald Zeeman Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    some of us Aspies are good at reading people comes with the territory, not creepy just natural.
    typing this while watching the Boys.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2021