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Job I've Loved For 3 Years, Now Unbearable

Discussion in 'Education and Employment' started by Kuektal, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. Kuektal

    Kuektal Active Member

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    I've had my current job for three years and I love it. Unfortunately it is now almost unbearable to get out of bed for due to new employee sitting next to me. I'm a programmer and need to be left alone while I'm working or I get lost and have to backtrack. Sometimes it takes me 10-20 minutes to even remember exactly what I was doing.

    It hasn't been a problem in three years because I have been lucky I suppose. My new co-worker seems unable to keep her thoughts to herself and has interrupted me countless times over the course of her first week.

    This has driven me to start looking for a new job already.

    I don't have it in me to ask her to stop.

    What do I do?
     
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  2. Mary Terry

    Mary Terry Well-Known Member

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    You just need to tell her that her talking causes you to lose track of where you are and to please reserve "conversation" and comments for break time or after working hours. This is just one of those things everyone has to deal with at work. I know it would be hard but if you could actually tell her this while she is mid-sentence (in other words, you interrupt HER to tell her that you don't like interruptions), then it will help her get your meaning. How rude of her! You can and should do this.
     
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  3. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Someone is fundamentally interfering with your ability to be productive. Tell your supervisor and emphasize a formal request to be seated elsewhere. You may not be relocated, but odds are the new employee may suddenly become quite mute.

    Something along such lines happened to me once myself. Since I already had a history and reputation as a productive employee, they didn't hesitate to grant my request and physically moved me to another desk at the time.

    Take no prisoners!
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
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  4. Danny 74

    Danny 74 Well-Known Member

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    In time you'll find the courage to tell the said person of her dysfunctional manner...! I know its hard, ive had it.. Nip it in the bud before it escalates. .!
     
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  5. Ambi

    Ambi Well-Known Member

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    You have to find it within you to ask her to stop. As difficult as it is, I would see this as an opportunity to build that new skill to help others respect your needs/boundaries. I often feel I can't find a non-offensive way to speak up, but recently I have been surprised with what I can come up with. But this is a basic workplace issue, you do need to learn how to tell the person to stop, or keep your headphones on. When they try to interrupt, explain: "I'm so sorry, I don't mean to offend, but I really have trouble focusing when there are interruptions. I'm one of those people who really need no interruptions (or noise, or whatever) in order to maintain my productivity. Thank you for understanding." The reason that person is interrupting you is because - well, either they don't want to work, OR those interruptions HELP them stay productive. I noticed this in cubicle land. Most people seemed to need to chit cat and socialize sometimes in order to go back and be more productive. That's why they took lunch breaks together, too - all that socializing helped them re-energize and be more productive back at their desk. For me, it's the opposite - so I avoided all of that. And I had my headphones on all the time - that kept people from interrupting me, and it drowned out all the other noise making people. If you let this take this job away from you, trust me, you are likely to run into the same problem at the next job, it's just a matter of time.
     
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  6. MonolithImmortal

    MonolithImmortal Well-Known Member

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  7. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    We picked up some from WalMart for when my youngest launches into a screaming fit.
     
  8. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    This is how I explain both programming and writing to people who can't get it on their own:

    • To do this thing, I have to build a mental House of Cards. That's the only way I can see the whole picture; to build it in my brain, piece by piece.
    • It takes a certain amount of time just to build the Card House; remembering all the pieces and how they are supposed to go. This is before I can even add more cards!
    • The only thing holding it up is my concentration. When that is interrupted, the entire thing falls down.
    • So you cannot interrupt me only for a minute. Every time you interrupt me, it takes lots of lots of minutes to even get back to where I was before you interrupted me.
    • Don't interrupt me.
     
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  9. Bella Pines

    Bella Pines Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Agree with @WereBear, I'm still working on those steps.

    You're lucky that you've had a stretch of 3 years without irritating co-workers. There will be more. There always is. From leg-jigglers, to people seeking reassurance, to sensitive and easily offended types, to arrogant senior misogynistic dickheads.

    I would strongly advise that at some point, you face it and you find a way to deal with it that does not involve running away.

    So first, remember that it has only been a week, and consider your options. There are many.

    1. Get really big headphones, put music on, when she speaks ignore her because you "can't hear and didn't know she was speaking". Of course this runs the risk of her tapping you on the shoulder, but that's the next problem.

    2. Let her get it out of her system. First thing in the morning, ask if she wants a cup of tea, listen to her yammering on and then say, "right, now I'm going into the zone, I will speak to you again at lunchtime".

    3. Communicate in the moment. Practice in the mirror. Then in the office, when it happens, try to explain that when you are concentrating and you do not like to be interrupted.

    4. Do you have an understanding manager? I often have to conduct peace talks between project managers and developers since they don't talk the same language.

    5. Or, you can continue to do what every other developer on the face of the planet does, and what I used to do when I was a developer. Grunt noncommittally, present a cross face and seethe quietly to yourself :)

    Just noticed @MonolithImmortal 's headphones. I need a pair...
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2017
  10. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Neur-D Missionary ☝

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    I do the same thing, but I try to break my houses of cards into short-term constructs.

    For example, when I work a Sudoku, I will do the "gimmes" first, those that have next-level clues second, followed by row, cell and columnar evaluations. In the second step, I evaluate for ones, then twos and so on.

    I can break pretty easily at each step or sub-step (because they all generate notes), but I am like you, if I am interrupted during a (sub-)step.