I've been accused of a crime!

[HelzBelz]

don'tpanic don'tpanic don'tpanic...
I've been accused of stealing some ear pods from a friend and the police are involved... I'm worried!
So I often get out walking in parks and cemeteries as it's quiet and peaceful there and I can settle my overactive brain. A few weeks ago I walked in a nearby park early in the day and found some ear pods on the ground. I put them in my pocket, took them home to see if they worked, found they did, and they were Apple ones. I don't use this sort of thing, and I was having a clean out to de-clutter anyway so put them up for sale online. Then a friend messaged me to say her sons' ear pods had been stolen off her kitchen table and could she come and look at them please. I freaked out that I was being accused, so I said they were given to me for Christmas by my older son (he gave me an Apple watch last year, so plausible). A few hours later the cops showed up with the dad and the son. I said my son gave them to me, then realised I was lying to police so said I found them in the park. Now I have a court summons as I was in possession of stolen goods.
This family are super dysfunctional; the dad is a full-blown alcoholic and both parents have been known to lay into people they argue with physically. I have been friends with the mum for over 6 years as I used to be in an abusive relationship and have a lot of compassion for her and her situation. Now she's put online how a 'close friend' has stolen from her, that I apparently admitted I stole to the cops (lie!) and she's going to push for prosecution. Her online friends have offered to 'pay me a visit'. I'm a solo mum with two kids still at home and I'm freaking out!
I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie, and have 4 of my 5 kids confirmed Aspies, plus two with ADHD and one with Tourettes. Because I'm self-diagnosed I don't have the paperwork to prove it and I worry that my high anxiety and weird mannerisms will make me look guilty. I can't fake my behaviour or calm my anxiety, so I'm all twitchy and blinky when I'm questioned anyway! I think I look guilty!
I've got court next week just to plead 'not guilty' to the charge, then I'll be given a date for trial. I've felt on the verge of vomiting since the police showed up but am slowly finding ways to calm my brain. Sleeping under my weighted blanket has really helped.
I'm going a bit nuts - what if I'm found guilty? How can I prove I'm innocent if I've got no proof? I can't control my facial behaviour or body language so I feel like I appear guilty.
Has anyone here been accused of a crime, and how did you cope? What helped?

 

[SimonSays]

Don’t worry. You found them so there is no crime. You don’t have to worry about somebody pushing for prosecution, as there still has to be evidence that you actually stole them that you actually took them off the table in the way they suggest.

I’m glad you didn’t stick to your first story the truth is a much better proposition. But just hold the knowing that you didn’t do anything you’re being accused of. The evidence still has to be there. Trust the process.

 

[Mary Terry]

Calm down, first of all. The burden of proof of your guilt is on the government (the prosecuting attorney). You don't have to prove you are innocent.

What possible evidence does the government have against you? How can the friend prove that she owned the pods that you found and showed to her? Proof of her ownership is required. Did she file a police report when she discovered they were missing? How did she learn that you had a set of ear pods and what led her to accuse you? Were you in her house on the day that they went missing? Is she claiming she witnessed you taking them? But then strangely failed to intervene with you? Or is the sole evidence against you is that you have ear pods you say you found in a park and a friend says belong to her? If so, that's a weak case against you.​

.
You know it was a mistake to not tell the truth when you were first interviewed, and I don't understand why you lied. The police don't understand why you lied, either, so it makes you look very suspicious. Is your son involved in any way?

What is the penalty for petty theft where you live? Would it be a first offense or a repeat offense? If the consequences are high enough, then please hire an attorney to defend you.

 

[unperson]

one little chance thing and all hell breaks loose, ugh. Just tell the judge what really happened, you found em in a park and panicked when questioned. They should have receipt and serial no. if not, no case.

Sounds kinda stalky that they check your online stuff, how did they know you had an ad?

I guess this'll kill that fake friendship anyway, that's a plus!

Keep screenshots/proof of any threatening or libelous statements she may make online.

 

[GadAbout]

So do you still have a lot of compassion for this mom?

Moral of this story is, keep a respectful distance from dysfunctional people. I hope this all turns out well for you.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

This is an area where having that piece of paper with a professional diagnosis may give you some degree of consideration within the legal system. Many developed countries will have certain, limited, legal "protections, considerations, and/or accommodations" for folks with a professional diagnosis of ASD.

Law enforcement professionals are trained in interrogation techniques and identifying response cues from neurotypical individuals, and not so well-trained in dealing with the behavior and communication cues from someone on the spectrum. As such, things may get missed or misinterpreted, which could result in a bad outcome.

I know some may not feel the need for a professional ASD diagnosis, satisfied with a self-diagnosis, but those in law enforcement and the judicial system will never accept a self-diagnosis should you be unfortunate enough to have an interaction with them.

 

[Wolfgangus Faldestolius]

Next time don't try to sell things that were found. Why not hand them in somewhere sensible and hope someone will claim them in a normal way. Or even, don't pick them up. One can surely use degrees of inference to work out what to be inquisitive about and what not to? We don't know how people got separated from their property: that is already a case in itself, without us complicating it.

 

[SDRSpark]

If you can afford an attorney, get one. (If you're in the US you can get a public defender if charged - you have a legal right to representation, so if you don't have the means a public defender is provided for you.)

Considering your (entirely reasonable) anxiety and confusion about this situation, trying to represent yourself is a bad idea. Trying to represent yourself is generally a bad idea for anyone anyway. Let an expert handle it.

 

[Judge]

Pity that you initially lied to the police. It may well prejudice your case. However if you truly found the item in question and did not steal it from another party, it might just be a situation that warrants using your country's "Claim of Right” defence. However it's something that you'd have to discuss with an attorney. A legal premise regarding a defense over an alleged theft of property.

An interesting media account of this defense as quoted:

"As the law stands, defendants charged with certain property offences can use the defence if they genuinely believe their actions are lawful. But it's clear that the defence was not intended to be used to excuse people who take or damage property who are not claiming a personal property right, as in the Waihopai case.

Mr Power said the amended law would still recognise that defendants who made an honest mistake should not necessarily be criminally responsible for their actions."

Test added to 'claim of right' defence - NZ Herald

 

[HelzBelz]

All these replies are really helpful, thank you. Yes, I made several mistakes in not handing them into police when I found them and lying to the police initially. I will sort a lawyer and explain the aspergers and mistakes I made so we can form a defense. I'm still freaking out over being found guilty, although this is a first 'offense' so that's in my favour. Still, I would lose my job and living in a small town, word would get around. I already struggle socially! Also yes, huge lesson learnt about connecting with disfunctional people!

 

[TopherPwn]

I wouldn't worry about it, they can't prove it was on a table and not the ground. Sucks to lose a friend of six years. That sounds rough, bet it's hard to meet people with children. It's possible they'll forget about it. Don't think that's a group of people who want to be labeled snitches or hang out all day at the court house. Should look up laws for your state and how to prove your innocent in multiple way. Play the who would post a message with stolen items without removing them from that one post. Really doesn't make sense. Plus you probably had them around for a bit and they said nothing.

don'tpanic don'tpanic don'tpanic...
I've been accused of stealing some ear pods from a friend and the police are involved... I'm worried!
So I often get out walking in parks and cemeteries as it's quiet and peaceful there and I can settle my overactive brain. A few weeks ago I walked in a nearby park early in the day and found some ear pods on the ground. I put them in my pocket, took them home to see if they worked, found they did, and they were Apple ones. I don't use this sort of thing, and I was having a clean out to de-clutter anyway so put them up for sale online. Then a friend messaged me to say her sons' ear pods had been stolen off her kitchen table and could she come and look at them please. I freaked out that I was being accused, so I said they were given to me for Christmas by my older son (he gave me an Apple watch last year, so plausible). A few hours later the cops showed up with the dad and the son. I said my son gave them to me, then realised I was lying to police so said I found them in the park. Now I have a court summons as I was in possession of stolen goods.
This family are super dysfunctional; the dad is a full-blown alcoholic and both parents have been known to lay into people they argue with physically. I have been friends with the mum for over 6 years as I used to be in an abusive relationship and have a lot of compassion for her and her situation. Now she's put online how a 'close friend' has stolen from her, that I apparently admitted I stole to the cops (lie!) and she's going to push for prosecution. Her online friends have offered to 'pay me a visit'. I'm a solo mum with two kids still at home and I'm freaking out!
I'm a self-diagnosed Aspie, and have 4 of my 5 kids confirmed Aspies, plus two with ADHD and one with Tourettes. Because I'm self-diagnosed I don't have the paperwork to prove it and I worry that my high anxiety and weird mannerisms will make me look guilty. I can't fake my behaviour or calm my anxiety, so I'm all twitchy and blinky when I'm questioned anyway! I think I look guilty!
I've got court next week just to plead 'not guilty' to the charge, then I'll be given a date for trial. I've felt on the verge of vomiting since the police showed up but am slowly finding ways to calm my brain. Sleeping under my weighted blanket has really helped.
I'm going a bit nuts - what if I'm found guilty? How can I prove I'm innocent if I've got no proof? I can't control my facial behaviour or body language so I feel like I appear guilty.
Has anyone here been accused of a crime, and how did you cope? What helped?