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ISTP personality type and dating.

Shiznown

Well-Known Member
Recently I have discovered my personality type, or at least the type that sounds most like me. It explains a lot about why I have a hard time finding women, politics and aspergers aside. With most people especially women, I find them very hard to relate to and enjoy conversations with them. Apparently ISTPs are known for only having a few close friends. Unfortunately the female personality types that are most common seems to conflict with ISTP, which makes a lot of sense.
 
I guess you're not compatible with the majority of women (though maybe not, there's probably ways for two opposite personalities to get along well) but there's many women who would do well with an ISTP.

But apparently the Myers-Briggs personality types are not very reliable and are shuned by most psychologists and neurologist, so you shouldn't base your expectations of a possible relatonship any more than you should base them on zodiac signs (ok, the Myers-Briggs personalities are definetly more accurate than astrology, but still)
 
I use Meyer-Briggs as a benchmark of sorts, mostly for the benefit of others and not myself. Personally more often than not it seems more indicative of something relative to a nebulous astrological explanation of who I am. In essence I just don't put much stock in it in assessing myself, let alone others.

As an Aspie I'd more inclined to think as a group that we are likely to have less friends period. Maybe those very few close friends, maybe just "fair weather" friends.

In this horrendously politically polarized climate, if relationships are so important to you (you've expressed as such for some time here), you might consider attempting to just letting go of politics altogether. We on the spectrum of autism already have "barriers" making socialization difficult. Factoring bitter and polarized politics may simply be tipping a very sensitive "social balancing act" in the wrong direction.

Oddly enough I majored in political science. And often eat it up like candy. Yet I've never been particularly ideological either. Always looking at everything from the outside much like the Aspie I am. It's still weird to look back at the relationships I had with NT women and realize that politics was seldom discussed at all. Strange perhaps that I managed to compartmentalize such a passion and filter it out of my relationships. Go figure. o_O
 
I use Meyer-Briggs as a benchmark of sorts, mostly for the benefit of others and not myself. Personally more often than not it seems more indicative of something relative to a nebulous astrological explanation of who I am. In essence I just don't put much stock in it in assessing myself, let alone others.

As an Aspie I'd more inclined to think as a group that we are likely to have less friends period. Maybe those very few close friends, maybe just "fair weather" friends.

In this horrendously politically polarized climate, if relationships are so important to you (you've expressed as such for some time here), you might consider attempting to just letting go of politics altogether. We on the spectrum of autism already have "barriers" making socialization difficult. Factoring bitter and polarized politics may simply be tipping a very sensitive "social balancing act" in the wrong direction.

Oddly enough I majored in political science. And often eat it up like candy. Yet I've never been particularly ideological either. Always looking at everything from the outside much like the Aspie I am. It's still weird to look back at the relationships I had with NT women and realize that politics was seldom discussed at all. Strange perhaps that I managed to compartmentalize such a passion and filter it out of my relationships. Go figure. o_O
I live in Baltimore, one of the most SJW filled areas in the country. Women a lot of the times ask me my political views. My only option right now is to lie, which I haven't done; nor do I like doing.
 
I live in Baltimore, one of the most SJW filled areas in the country. Women a lot of the times ask me my political views. My only option right now is to lie, which I haven't done; nor do I like doing.

Point taken. Location can (and does) play such a part in a relatively small but intensely "blue" state like Maryland. Even more so in their metropolitan areas. Sometimes you indeed can't escape it. I'm from Northern Virginia myself.

I suppose being non-ideological gives me an edge in this instance. I can successfully argue both sides of many issues if I choose. Not unlike masking/faking NT behaviors. Though at your age I also lived in a very large state with great political diversity (California). Odd though to look back when I was your age and politics almost never came up when it came to the opposite sex.

I never gave it much thought to it until now. Wondering if subconsciously I sought the company of females who were decidedly apolitical. Though probably not easy to find in your neck of the woods and in this day and age. Still though, something to consider.
 
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Point taken. Location can (and does) play such a part in a relatively small but intensely "blue" state like Maryland. Even more so in their metropolitan areas. Sometimes you indeed can't escape it. I'm from Northern Virginia myself.

I suppose being non-ideological gives me an edge in this instance. I can successfully argue both sides of many issues if I choose. Not unlike masking/faking NT behaviors. Though at your age I also lived in a very large state with great political diversity (California). Odd though to look back when I was your age and politics almost never came up when it came to the opposite sex.

I never gave it much thought to it until now. Wondering if subconsciously I sought the company of females who were decidedly apolitical. Though probably not easy to find in your neck of the woods and in this day and age. Still though, something to consider.
Well, I plan on moving to Indiana in hopefully about 3 years. Maybe that solve all my problems. At the very least living and housing will be a lot cheaper.
 
Well, I plan on moving to Indiana in hopefully about 3 years. Maybe that solve all my problems. At the very least living and housing will be a lot cheaper.

Maybe. Definitely a different political climate there. I had kin there in Noblesville and Indianapolis.
 
Maybe. Definitely a different political climate there. I had kin there in Noblesville and Indianapolis.
The only counties that voted blue in Indiana, where right in the heart of Indianapolis and one of the counties closest to Illinois.
 
The only counties that voted blue in Indiana, where right in the heart of Indianapolis and one of the counties closest to Illinois.

Indiana's political issues go far beyond just red and blue in elections. My uncle worked out of the FBI's office in Indianapolis for many years. ;)

At least in the past the state seemed to draw its share of extremists across the political spectrum. Though outside major cities heartland politics tend to be predominantly conservative in the most conventional sense.
 
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"ISTP RELATIONSHIPS
When it comes to romantic relationships with ISTPs, it’s a bit like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Dating ISTP personalities is a tango, complex and interesting, with alternating coldness and detachment, and passion, spontaneity and enjoyment of the moment. Nothing can be forced in ISTP relationships, but so long as they are given the space they need to be themselves, they will gladly enjoy the comforts of a steady partner for a lifetime.

If Songs Could Change Lives, We’d All Love Each Other
Early in dating, people with the ISTP personality type can be especially flighty – they live in the present, always looking for new activities and experiences. If a potential partner doesn’t measure up, ISTPs have no real problem walking away. ISTPs also need a great deal of personal space, both physically and mentally, and any attempts to control them or forcibly schedule their activities only accelerates their departure.

On the other hand, ISTPs have no problem trying to change their partners’ habits, most likely with attempts to get them to loosen up a bit and relax and have fun. ISTP personalities are hardly strict or traditional when it comes to dating, and often try to introduce sex into their activities early on. Sensual individuals that they are, ISTPs make ready use of all of their senses, viewing intimacy as an art, a performance, and a source of pleasure.

As their relationships progress, ISTPs’ partners tend to find that intimacy is about the closest they get to open emotional expression. It’s not that ISTPs don’t have feelings – they actually run quite deep and strong – just that they conceal and protect them because they are unsure how to deal with them and express them. ISTPs have no trouble leaving something they think is mutually understood unsaid.

This applies in a broader sense in ISTPs’ relationships as well. Any attempts to push understood arrangements, even the relationships themselves, into open discussion in order to secure commitment, especially early on, are often met by ISTPs with something close to panic. Nothing is so acutely terrifying to ISTPs as knowing that there’s no way out. Every day is a new day, and ISTPs review their obligations from moment to moment.

If ISTPs are to be lifelong partners, it must happen as a natural progression of these day-to-day decisions, on their own time.
None of this should be taken too personally by ISTPs’ partners – it’s just how their minds work. People with this personality type live in the present, in a world of physical activities that engage the senses, and they just need to know that they have the freedom to be passionate about something one day and indifferent the next, without being grilled on when they’re going to finish something, or why they’ve "suddenly changed their minds".

At the same time, being a little more expressive and a little more comfortable with the idea of consistency and follow-through can go a long way in rounding out the ISTP personality type. The best partners usually share ISTPs’ Observant (S) trait, that interest in what the world is here and now, with one or two opposing traits, like Extraversion or Judging, to help them to explore a world that also involves other people and others’ expectations."

ISTP Relationships | 16Personalities
 
LOL, you have a CLASSIC ISTP look. You'd even meet Niednagel's "Brain Type" criteria for that type; so many of the people he's typed as ISTP have your exact look and expression. People often get their type wrong for a variety of reasons, but it looks like you're the rare sort who actually has a proper grip on their actual type.

Anyway, I like ISTPs, but they were never attracted to me. I'm probably an INTP -- such a similar type, but much more abstract mentally, and frankly just nerdy. My husband is likely also this type.

ISTPs seem to gravitate toward other SPs. Males in particular seem best suited and most drawn to ISFP or ESFP women. Yeah, you'll have to deal with the emotional aspects of them, but you'll be able to communicate and relate on an in-the-moment, tactical level, and the SP women won't have that meandering, abstract conversational style of Intuitors that can be irritating to the short and snappy conversational style of your type (if Niednagel is correct, ENTP is actually by far the most common type in both men and women despite massive statistical errors in Myers-Briggs suggesting otherwise, so you're probably tired of dealing with them in particular -- and they are quite prone to being liberal in their views, though there are exceptions).
 
LOL, you have a CLASSIC ISTP look. You'd even meet Niednagel's "Brain Type" criteria for that type; so many of the people he's typed as ISTP have your exact look and expression. People often get their type wrong for a variety of reasons, but it looks like you're the rare sort who actually has a proper grip on their actual type.

Anyway, I like ISTPs, but they were never attracted to me. I'm probably an INTP -- such a similar type, but much more abstract mentally, and frankly just nerdy. My husband is likely also this type.

ISTPs seem to gravitate toward other SPs. Males in particular seem best suited and most drawn to ISFP or ESFP women. Yeah, you'll have to deal with the emotional aspects of them, but you'll be able to communicate and relate on an in-the-moment, tactical level, and the SP women won't have that meandering, abstract conversational style of Intuitors that can be irritating to the short and snappy conversational style of your type (if Niednagel is correct, ENTP is actually by far the most common type in both men and women despite massive statistical errors in Myers-Briggs suggesting otherwise, so you're probably tired of dealing with them in particular -- and they are quite prone to being liberal in their views, though there are exceptions).
I suppose the cool thing is, I have the same personality type as Clint Eastwood and Clint has the best stare.
clint-eastwood.jpg
 
Niednagel believes him to be ESTP, but the look is similar because STs all share dominance in the same brain region of the motor cortex. The ST types often have a hawk-eyed, intense, and impersonal stare, especially _STPs.
 

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