Issues with Clinginess

[Desiree W]

I'm a cordial woman who doesn't mind socializing on occasion, but not every day in terms of friendships, etc. That's why I'm glad I don't have a lot of friends, especially "bosom buddies". I really don't see a point in hanging out every day, all day. I feel emotionally drained at times, because I feel like I have to keep people entertained. I REALLY have even more issues with people calling me every day, especially more than once. It's like can't they just say what they need to say the first time. Some people want to talk for a long time, which I can tolerate sometimes because some people need to vent. However, I don't see a point talking for hours EVERY day. "Why are you so quiet?", I'm later asked. I don't mean to be rude, I just don't have a lot to say. Maybe one day I can find some type of happy medium. I don't mean to discourage anyone. Just had to get this off my chest. I'll remain hopeful in the meantime.

 

[Myway]

I can’t stand people who want to talk all the time. It starts to get on my nerves. I have times where I need to be left alone. I am learning this with friends and family too. They can’t always talk. They need their space too. If we all respect each other’s wishes, then things go a lot smoother in the long run. I have family and friends I am close to, but they had to earn it. I don’t get close to most people. I like to keep things private as well. A lot of times when people get to be too much, I shut down. I can’t handle people telling me they are bored and lonely and need to talk 24/7. If you need to talk 24/7, then have more than one friend because I will surely not tolerate it beyond a certain point. Being alone is how I recharge. Not alone = draining. Alone = recharge. When people take the alone time away, then I am a wreck. I don’t mind texting people all day. Text is fine, but talking verbally gets rough. I am not that verbal for a reason. There are so many things that I like to do that when people constantly want to talk, then I give up and shut down.

That is my input.

 

[OkRad]

I never give out my number.....ever. No one has it and that solved that trouble. Anyone who has to have it like family know me and know I can't talk for hours. No one in my family gets all chatty. Well, if they did, since they are family, it's different..........

Get a new phone? New number? That may not be possible. But you are in good company here!!

 

[SusanLR]

I don't talk on the phone unless absolutely necessary.
Usually I just let my message machine screen it.
If it is something important, they can leave a message that I can hear as it is recorded if I'm home to hear it.
If not, it's there when I get back.

Two people have my cell number.
They know me and use it only when they need to contact me for a good reason.

If I have to make a call I am the great procrastinator.
In fact I have a call I need to make Monday regarding an insurance billing problem.
That can take an hour! Got it to do though to resolve the problem.

 

[ksheehan88]

Me and my aspie friend have great phone conversations. Mostly its just silence while he plays his console and I scroll through fb or watch something, punctuated by the odd sentence here and there. This can go on for an hour or more lol. Its great, I don't mind that because he doesn't expect me to constantly talk.

 

[Progster]

I don't talk much and don't have this need to always be talking to a person I am with, and I find people who talk too much exhausting - my head feels intense pressure like it's going to explode and I just have to get away. I don't have close friends, and with my partner we each do our own thing and we only talk to each other when we have go something to say. I have a job which involves a lot of interaction and talking, it drains me and after work the last thing I need is more talking. I don't know how people can talk to each other for hours on the phone, what on Earth do they find to talk about?? It's not so bad if I'm doing an activity with a person, but otherwise, no, talking is not my thing.

 

[Mathalamus]

i am one of the people who tend to want to talk, for hours every day. i am aware that its an issue, but i can do very little about it. its just how i am. changing that can, and has, lead to nasty problems in the past.

some people are socialites, like me, or lonely in some way, also like me. some are not. i can accommodate the social differences, to an extent.

i used to be completely baffled by people who cannot maintain the basic social attitude that i have. its, to me, one of the most basic things ever.

now, i somewhat understand why people cannot or will not maintain my level of socializing. i even get tired of socializing, too, but i usually just ignore that, and talk anyway.

 

[paloftoon]

People who have full time jobs generally don't have time to talk every day if you aren't trying to set something up or get something done. If people are getting too clingy, a nice way to tell them that is not to say that to them at all and instead to recommend activities that they might enjoy participating in. Recommend to them that they need to meet multiple people and share their love with 100 different people if they can, and that you are not able to handle so much love.