• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Is this patronizing, or am I overthinking things?

Metalhead

Metalhead

Video game and movie addict.
V.I.P Member
Somebody I know has developed a saying that is seriously getting on my nerves. Whenever I say I like something, or whenever I state that I am pleased with anything, she responds with, "That's your opinion."

I told her I found that to be patronizing, so she doubled down and stated that it was not really patronizing, she was just saying that I had my opinions that differed from everybody else's.

Maybe this woman is more autistic than I am. Who knows? I find it annoying the way she says it, though. Yes, I know it is my opinion, no need to bring it up like that.
 
Sounds like she’s being passive-aggressive. What she’s really saying is: “You’re wrong.” That would annoy me so much.
 
Yeah, that's patronising. She seems like she doesn't agree with you but is too weak-willed to do so directly. Probably just wants to avoid conflict.
 
Sounds to me like she is belittling your opinion. Of course, it's your opinion. Though I've usually heard it as, "That's just your opinion."
 
Sounds to me like she feels challenged by your opinion and is assuring herself in the form of projection that it's just your opinion and her fragile opinion is still safe. I'd guess it has nothing to do with you, it's for herself.
 
Fino said:
Sounds to me like she feels challenged by your opinion and is assuring herself in the form of projection that it's just your opinion and her fragile opinion is still safe. I'd guess it has nothing to do with you, it's for herself.
Click to expand...

l gotta ride with the duck on this. Remember we internalize everything when it is usually projection on their part. So they project what they feel and we internalize the dialogue, then it's just wrong on so many different levels. Kinda of funny when you dissect it. If it qacks, it's them, not you.
 
Yes, she's projecting, but it's also useful to notice your particular take on that, you ask if she's being patronising? I wonder if that means she's projected her experience of being patronised into you? And maybe that she feels patronised on some level by you? You might also have a problem with feeling patronised? Try saying, do you feel as if I come over as a bit patronising sometimes? Does it remind you of someone? (But perhaps wear protective clothing and a helmet if you do this.)
 
My husband says exactly the same thing to me and the way he says it, is so dismissive.

He also says he is not being nasty when he says it, but I do not believe him.
 
But being autistic how long do we take to learn that we aren't in some way not more learned on some subjects and that we won't admit we were incorrect, sadly some!!!!!!!! autistic people are very sarcastic not all.
I'm still in class 101 for American members, at the start for other members ,for Christians I'm still embryonic .
 
Suzanne said:
My husband says exactly the same thing to me and the way he says it, is so dismissive.

He also says he is not being nasty when he says it, but I do not believe him.
Click to expand...

That's a perfect ex of passive aggressive stuffs. l knew someone who had a degree in this stuff, 18 years of it.
 
It is rude and merely states the obvious in a dismissive way. Clearly, your expression of liking something is an expression of your opinion. She is entitled to her opinion. What the heck else does she think it is other than your opinion? You have my permission to tell her so, even at the risk of sounding rude yourself. ;)
 
Yeah, she is really stating that I am the only person in the world who holds certain opinions that she very much disagrees with. It is irritating and dismissive. And quite narcissistic for her to believe that all of her opinions are held by the majority of people in the world.
 
As previously mentioned, it sure does sound like she's being passive-aggressive, like your opinion is wrong and she is letting you know. She certainly sounds combative and does not sound like she is being friendly.
 
Hello KagamineLen, this is my first post here. I agree she sounds dismissive. When she says that, do you ask what hers is? She should not act like it's a huge chore to share her opinion. Or a huge chore to hear yours.
 
Suzanne said:
My husband says exactly the same thing to me and the way he says it, is so dismissive.

He also says he is not being nasty when he says it, but I do not believe him.
Click to expand...
Breaks my heart to read this. I understand. Married 25 years. Only recently needed to be heard..."Well let's just agree to disagree". Huh? Yo! Hubby, just want you to see the world thru my eyes for a moment. (((hugs))) to you.
 
This is called relativism. NPR does it all the time-- and so does everyone else with the agree to disagree stuff.

In my religion relativism has been forbidden since 1907. Love it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom