is this an "aspie" thing?

[harrietjansson]

Howdy!
I have had many teachers (not just school teachers) give me too difficult tasks/assignments.
When I learn I need to follow all the steps (1,2,3, and so on). When I skip some of these steps I often fail. When the teachers asked me to follow all the steps I did suceed.
I will give you an example:
I take singing lessons and my teacher has asked me to do exercices that will help me say the lyrics with feeling and without missing to pronounce the consonants (so that you will hear what I say or sing).
The teacher before my current teacher only really told me to beware of the missing consonants in my singing but she never asked me to do special exercices. She only told me to be aware of my issue. We never did any specific training.
Many teachers skip helping students with the fundamentals it seems. It's like they skip some steps of learning. I have seen this in many situations.
Many teachers push their students to do things that is "too difficult" for them. I know many "aspies" who cannot learn this way.
I have met teachers who have said that they actually used the correct method and that it is my fault for not learning. I don't see the purpose of skipping steps in the learning process. Perhaps "normal" people want "too difficult" tasks but with ASD you will see meltdowns or shutdowns or people hating the word "teacher"?

My questions: is this issue something that is an "aspie" issue? Can you relate to this? "Normal" people seem better at skiping some of the steps that I need. Is this also your expeirence?

Are teachers often bad at theory of mind even if they are "normal"? It's nature/nuture, right? "Normal" people are not just born with a great theory of mind. They need to practice a lot and many just go by talent, right?

Perhaps I should say that "aspies issue" does not refer to an issue that is just something that people wth ASD experience. People with ADHD probably also experience this and people who are a little bit ASD but would never get a diagnosis as they are called "normal", ie not having the full syndrome.

 

[Progster]

Teachers often skip steps, including the basics, because it is assumed that the students (all students, NT or otherwise) know the material, because they have been taught it at an early stage. It may also be laziness on the part of the teacher, or indeed a theory of mind issue - assuming that because they understand it, the student must also be able to. But as a teacher, I know that students often forget things, even basic things, so any lesson introducing new material needs to start with a recap on the basics.

The teacher's responsibility is to both teach new material and revise old material. It's up to the teacher to explain that material in such a way that the student is able to understand it, then to check comphrehension. If the student doesn't understand, then it's not the fault of the student (unless it's because they were looking on the phone or something like that).

The student's responsibility is to study at home. That means to practise and to revise the materials for the last lesson in preparation for the next lesson, to prepare projects, assignments, for tests/exams, etc.
It's also the student's responsibility to communicate when he or she didn't understand something, or forgot something. Good two-way communication between student and teacher is very important to the learning process. The student needs to be honest with the teacher about not understanding something, and the teacher needs to have the patience and versatility to explain the concept again in a different way perhaps, but if the student is not honest about their understanding, or feels that he or she can't be honest because the teacher will get impatient and shout, then that's not helpful.

I don't see myself as much as a teacher, more like a guide. I will guide the student to find the right answer through their own intellect - I will provide them with all the necessary information they need to find the solution and guide them to it - but I won't tell them the answer right out. The student is always going to be the one who finds and provides the answer. It's more important to understand why an answer is correct, than get the answer right in the learning process.

I think the biggest difficulty I have with students is when students want to arrive at an answer via the trail and error method, rather than trying to figure it out by understanding. Which in some circumstances can be a valid method, but unfortunately it often means that they just guess the answer over and over until they hit on the right answer, without any actual undestanding, which isn't helpful. In a multiple choice question, for example, they say A, then C and then B and finally D without actually thinking or understanding why D is correct. I tend not to want to let them do this; if I see that this is happening, I'll ask them more questions aimed at getting them to analyse the question and then think about the answer.

 

[Progster]

It is assumed by many that those of us on the spectrum have poor theory of mind (TOM), but I see many issues of this nature in people in general. They do tend to assume that because they find something easy, that others must find that same thing easy. Or that because they know something or like something, everyone else must. It's a kind of mental shortcut, or cognitive bias. It's a myth that only autistic people have difficulty with TOM.

I see this in my students when they have a (foreign language) exercise involving a dialogue. They often have great difficulty in grasping that because the perspective of the person in a dialogue changes, then the pronouns need to change, too. Though this might also simply be the result of the student not reading the text carefully, or not understanding the text well.

However, NTs seem to be better at filling in implied information, and this is a TOM issue, in my opinion. I often don't understand, or misunderstand something because they leave out information which is assumed or implied. They give an overview, maybe about half the information, and then leave you to fill in the rest. I struggle with this - I need to have all the information to understand. I'm not always able to fill in as they are, very poor at that, and then ask a bunch of questions in my attempt to understand, which just annoys/frustrates them.

 

[harrietjansson]

However, NTs seem to be better at filling in implied information, and this is a TOM issue, in my opinion. I often don't understand, or misunderstand something because they leave out information which is assumed or implied. They give an overview, maybe about half the information, and then leave you to fill in the rest. I struggle with this - I need to have all the information to understand. I'm not always able to fill in as they are, very poor at that, and then ask a bunch of questions in my attempt to understand, which just annoys/frustrates them.

What is the purpose of leaving out important info? Does this serve an important purpose?
It is extremely difficult for me to see the good reason for refraining from giving people all the info they need.

It is assumed by many that those of us on the spectrum have poor theory of mind (TOM), but I see many issues of this nature in people in general. They do tend to assume that because they find something easy, that others must find that same thing easy. Or that because they know something or like something, everyone else must. It's a kind of mental shortcut, or cognitive bias. It's a myth that only autistic people have difficulty with TOM.

Why do people spread this myth?
Sometimes it's like when "normal" people are bad at something they are "normal" but when ASD people are bad at something they are disordered.
To me this is kind of strange. One could argue that "normal" people are just rude or never care about understanding people who don't think like them. They refuse to practice. Maybe they have the nature but not the nuture?

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I do not think it is a Aspie issue, as I lay this at the feet of teachers who make assumptions about basic competence, or don't teach the important logical sequence that allows students to progress to operational thinking. There were things that I was brilliant at, like Stats or Genetics, and I enjoyed helping others because going through the progression of thought/operations also solidified them in my mind.

I've had teachers who are so constrained in their thinking that they could not accept other ways of solving a problem. This happened to me in Geometry when I endeavored to create elegant proofs and was graded poorly, yet the teacher could not elucidate why my proof was in error.

 

[unperson]

uh yeh, all highy relevant questions, there was times when I was way ahead of da class, and times when I was behind, yes, 'teachers' do lack theory of mind, and they and their education depts do too.

 

[1ForAll]

Think of most teachers as preferring to instruct to the masses using one approach easiest for them or that they had learned, and as deviating from that makes their work or stress more. And some of these teachers may think their ways of teaching are the best, or that it will work for all, not understanding that each student can have different learning styles and preferences.

Teachers may not fret over if the student understands everything, or if they they were taught everything, or in the best way for the student, as they may also rationalize it's up to the student to find out the answers they do not know, or to inquire further, as it encourages communication, creativity, or will help with motivation somehow.

With regards to your vocal instructor, I doubt the next example is the case, but some teachers, medical professionals and other professionals have bosses or supervisors over them mandating or putting pressure on them to do things certain ways, best for the business or organization, or they'll have rules or protocols in place to minimize lawsuit risk. Deviating from that could get them fired.

Also, many professionals are unable to pick up on what that student needs, again, unless the student specifically stated what they needed or what teaching stressed them out. And even if they then understood the student's needs and concerns, many teachers still may not change their ways, because of inability to change there, or a lack of desire to change there because of either inflexible ingrained ways of teaching, or poor attitude.

I will give you an example of that, that relates to your post:

Both I and my eleven year son (both with ASD) four years ago wanted more formal instruction how to sing, after I learned my son then was having fun creating his own silly songs to sing around the home, and when I learned his pitches were spot on when he tried to copy singing some songs he heard on the radio, much less children's songs that bored him then.

So, after finding out what my son's objectives were with music, and after seeing what I wanted out of lessons, too, we found in-person a female instructor who seemed very nice and friendly, and I presented her with a letter that outlined his and my objectives, experiences and abilities with music, and the song styles each of us preferred. She seemed receptive and enthusiastic to what she read.

But, it became apparent the more lessons we had with her, the instructor was jumping over important vocal learning details, and she was doing things out of order, in how I felt I and my son needed to learn because of each of our same needs to learn in a step-by-step structured way, that paid close attention to every detail. We wanted no details to be left out, as I considered this one of our Autism traits.

For instance, as vocal beginners, even after several lessons she still never had given any instruction for proper posture and stretching type exercises, to help for singing, nor did she give any other vocal tips. And when doing vocal warm up exercises that first lesson, she would go either too fast or jump around too much, instead of slowing things down, and doing the keys in order, to match pitches sequentially first, and to build up our confidence there.

I did not think she was showing her abilities off then, as she seemed the modest type, but it was just her way of teaching, or her mind and body saying that could not do things differently. Her mind did not seem as structured than ours, and her actions and inactions said she did not seem as desiring, able or needing of presenting to us details early on in these lessons, while we both needed that to learn the best, if effectiveness, confidence and efficiency was what she hoped for us vocally.

As well, when she introduced the first song for I to sing, she picked a foreign song, despite the letter I gave her the first meeting saying I loved soft rock and pop songs. She did start with children's music with our son, which I did not think was strange, as he looked very young and seemed a novice at first glance, but I mentioned that in that letter too, that our son was past singing child's songs.

This teacher never asked us what we wanted to sing first, but just presented what she wanted us to sing, or in our child's case what she thought he was likely only ready for. It's as if that instructor either just scanned my detailed letter that explained everything on the first visit, and did not see my details about us preferring certain songs and needed certain ways of being taught, or she just could not teach that way or preferred her only way of teaching.

What caused me to end having her as my vocal instructor was when she every session was just working on my upper voice, trying to have me sing about four notes above my range, and we never practiced much the numerous notes in my lower range, far below middle C which is where I felt the most comfort, and after she stated she thought my voice fitted opera style music, which I totally disagreed with..

Instead of gaining confidence and motivation as a new singer, I was losing confidence and motivation fast. I started doubting my abilities the more I could not sing those higher notes she wanted me to sing, and more she did not listen to what I had written, to what we wanted and needed. But, then I just told myself, "This is not about me. This just is not a good fit. She means well, but just is missing what we need or not able to instruct in that way."

I since learned through my wife who took piano lessons with her was she had ADHD. She was a total fit with my wife's more general, faster, more spontaneous, and/or less structured learning style. Then everything made sense to me. And since, I have been teaching my son since, not just educationally, but for music things. He is really great at singing now, at age 11, and he is starting to do great as a beginner on the keyboard too, having started that ten months ago.

 

[Progster]

What is the purpose of leaving out important info? Does this serve an important purpose?
It is extremely difficult for me to see the good reason for refraining from giving people all the info they need.

I don't think it has any particular aim. I don't think that they are doing it on purpose - I don't think they are even aware that they are doing it. They often asssume without thinking that whatever they have in their head I must have too, though this is not necessarily the case. It might be social or culturally related information that they assume is understood by all, or it may be just poor communication on their part.

Why do people spread this myth?
Sometimes it's like when "normal" people are bad at something they are "normal" but when ASD people are bad at something they are disordered.

I think that this myth exists because often, we don't react in an expected way to social situations. So we may say something unexpected, not pick up on hints or social cues, or fail to say or do something that in their eyes we are supposed to do. That gets interpreted as us not having theory of mind. And then, we may have a different opinion about something and say so, or stick to our guns on an issue, rather than compromise over it. Then we get told we have rigid thinking.

 

[harrietjansson]

What caused me to end having her as my vocal instructor was when she every session was just working on my upper voice,

I have never heard about a teacher who would only do that but now I know that such a teacher exists.

and we never practiced much the numerous notes in my lower range, far below middle C which is where I felt the most comfort, and after she stated she thought my voice fitted opera style music, which I totally disagreed with..

I can't stand the term "opera style". Opera includes many styles and ways of singing.

She seemed receptive and enthusiastic to what she read.

I think I know what you mean. Teacher can look awaesome but then they don't know how to teach even the basics. I had a teacher who insisted that I should never sing without her piano playing. It was bassically me being told to sing and hoping for some comment that would not be helpful for me. Did she think her piano playing would make wonders and help me? She was a bad teacher but a nice person.
Did you also experience this. I now sing both with and without a piano.
Most teacher are: just sing or just kick a football untill you become good at it. My current teacher says that some teachers hide behind a piano. People even say that teachers don't know how to teach people how to listen and get good ears. I had to change teacher when I had to teach myself when they teacher did not know how to help me. Singing teachers have real bad reputation, I've heard.
Did you have bad experience with this?

But, it became apparent the more lessons we had with her, the instructor was jumping over important vocal learning details,

The teacher I am refering to only gave me some comments if I were lucky. Sadly, they did not help much.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Howdy!
I have had many teachers (not just school teachers) give me too difficult tasks/assignments.
When I learn I need to follow all the steps (1,2,3, and so on). When I skip some of these steps I often fail. When the teachers asked me to follow all the steps I did suceed.
I will give you an example:
I take singing lessons and my teacher has asked me to do exercices that will help me say the lyrics with feeling and without missing to pronounce the consonants (so that you will hear what I say or sing).
The teacher before my current teacher only really told me to beware of the missing consonants in my singing but she never asked me to do special exercices. She only told me to be aware of my issue. We never did any specific training.
Many teachers skip helping students with the fundamentals it seems. It's like they skip some steps of learning. I have seen this in many situations.
Many teachers push their students to do things that is "too difficult" for them. I know many "aspies" who cannot learn this way.
I have met teachers who have said that they actually used the correct method and that it is my fault for not learning. I don't see the purpose of skipping steps in the learning process. Perhaps "normal" people want "too difficult" tasks but with ASD you will see meltdowns or shutdowns or people hating the word "teacher"?

My questions: is this issue something that is an "aspie" issue? Can you relate to this? "Normal" people seem better at skiping some of the steps that I need. Is this also your expeirence?

Are teachers often bad at theory of mind even if they are "normal"? It's nature/nuture, right? "Normal" people are not just born with a great theory of mind. They need to practice a lot and many just go by talent, right?

Perhaps I should say that "aspies issue" does not refer to an issue that is just something that people wth ASD experience. People with ADHD probably also experience this and people who are a little bit ASD but would never get a diagnosis as they are called "normal", ie not having the full syndrome.

I don't do vague.

I need specifics, I need things spelling out to me, despite my high intelligence.

I'm happy to learn of you, anyone who has something to teach me, but don't skip steps, be specific, talk to me like I am a dummy (without patronising me) just so that I know all the steps, as I am not good at reading between the lines.

NT's might be better doing vague than me.

I can't accurately answer your ToM question I think AS people can lack it, but not all.

ToM is the ability to see what people might be thinking, their motivations etc, which is why some of us AS people get taken advantage of as we cannot tell others motives.

Talent alone is not enough, it needs practice. I didnt know I had an art talent until my 30's, use it or lose it.

AS is something we are born with, differently wired brain neurodiveraity. ADHD has it's roots in trauma, the neuro chemistry and circuitry are altered by trauma.

I hope that helps.

 

[1ForAll]

I have never heard about a teacher who would only do that but now I know that such a teacher exists.


I can't stand the term "opera style". Opera includes many styles and ways of singing.


I think I know what you mean. Teacher can look awaesome but then they don't know how to teach even the basics. I had a teacher who insisted that I should never sing without her piano playing. It was bassically me being told to sing and hoping for some comment that would not be helpful for me. Did she think her piano playing would make wonders and help me? She was a bad teacher but a nice person.
Did you also experience this. I now sing both with and without a piano.
Most teacher are: just sing or just kick a football untill you become good at it. My current teacher says that some teachers hide behind a piano. People even say that teachers don't know how to teach people how to listen and get good ears. I had to change teacher when I had to teach myself when they teacher did not know how to help me. Singing teachers have real bad reputation, I've heard.
Did you have bad experience with this?



The teacher I am refering to only gave me some comments if I were lucky. Sadly, they did not help much.

We only had experience with that one vocal teacher, and decided on just self-teach ourselves. That instructor tried her best and helped us with the major basics, but not much else, and it was taught in a disorganized way and without attention to what we needed to know to learn in a quicker and more flowing way. She was not the type to give much feedback after we sang, and that bothered us. How can we get better if we do not know what we are doing right or wrong? Luckily though I was great at knowing how each of us could improve the most, and what our strengths were to begin with. After I knew the basics, I felt I had abilities to teach myself and him all the details, in the orders that made sense to us..

And I was already good at ear training as I listened to much music daily growing up, so I pick up on pitches, tempo, dynamics, and feeling pretty well. And our son listens to music a lot too. People are surprised our son can put natural feeling into his speaking voice and his cover songs that he sings, as stereotype is that many with Autism can be more monotone.. I did not have to teach that, as he shows inflection naturally, but I admit, I worked a bit on his enunciation at age seven and eight, doing daily tongue twister exercises with him, to make his voice clear for the trickier words. I focused on him sounding out slowly the beginning, middle and endings of all those tongue twister words, then having him go faster until the singing became really clear too for all words, regardless of lyrics. Right now though he is at that age where his voice is changing, so, he is singing through that as well.

 

[Fino]

You are absolutely right. Almost everybody I know is a teacher, and nearly all teachers prefer to teach more advanced material and are bored with the fundamentals. They consistently skip entire levels or leave out theory completely. I've probably skipped with one student ever. I don't agree with skipping, typically.

 

[harrietjansson]

And I was already good at ear training as I listened to much music daily growing up, so I pick up on pitches, tempo, dynamics, and feeling pretty well.

You must be a very different person than I. I cannot just listen to music and become good at singing the correct pitches.I had to practice.
You never had to practice? Just listening to music was enough for you?
Most people I have met had to practice. Even if they never had formal practice they had to practice finding and hearing the pitches.
Are you savanth or something? But I am not sure being savanth dont mean you need some practice.
Are you sure you never had to practice like the rest of us?

 

[harrietjansson]

Talent alone is not enough, it needs practice. I didnt know I had an art talent until my 30's, use it or lose it.

Even many savanths need practice.
How would they know that they are savanths if they never practiced eg painting?
We need nature and nurture.
Did people never tell you about your ability or did they just communicate it poorly?
Did they perhaps not even know?
People often don't say speciric things so you have to read between the lines or guess what they say.
I have talents but people communicate it poorly to me even if they have great ideas and thoughts about it.

 

[1ForAll]

You must be a very different person than I. I cannot just listen to music and become good at singing the correct pitches.I had to practice.
You never had to practice? Just listening to music was enough for you?
Most people I have met had to practice. Even if they never had formal practice they had to practice finding and hearing the pitches.
Are you savanth or something? But I am not sure being savanth dont mean you need some practice.
Are you sure you never had to practice like the rest of us?

Although listening to music often as a child can make the transition for many easier to sing and play an instrument, it does still nevertheless require practice, even though we both are genetically good at recognizing pitches and patterns. Neither of us are savants like Kodi Lee that could hear a song for the first time and remember everything very well and/or sing or play it flawlessly on the first try, because of a very rare great memory or fast processing ability like that, but he required practice too. And for playing piano/keyboard, we need even more practice and are going step by step there.

But, our son and I both have abilities to hear a song a few times and sing it back pretty well now, with regards to pitches, tempo, loudness parts, and feeling. This required a few years of practice to get really good. This does mean we are smiling from ear to ear singing, as that is not us, nor does it mean we are naturally good at showing feeling through movements, as this is not our strengths. That is why we are also practicing playing keyboard, and our son is starting to pick this up faster, the more he practices. Then we would not have to move around like some neurotypical entertainer on stage. We could choose to sing and play at the same time, from a seated position.

 

[Gift2humanity]

Even many savanths need practice.
How would they know that they are savanths if they never practiced eg painting?
We need nature and nurture.
Did people never tell you about your ability or did they just communicate it poorly?
Did they perhaps not even know?
People often don't say speciric things so you have to read between the lines or guess what they say.
I have talents but people communicate it poorly to me even if they have great ideas and thoughts about it.

My mum thought I was not that good as I could not get anything to look right.
My art teacher thought I was good but did not teach me techniques that my college tutor did at 30, yet some kids were just better. I think I might have developed my talent if I had spent less time trying to fit in with other kids doing so called cool things.

 

[harrietjansson]

Although listening to music often as a child can make the transition for many easier to sing and play an instrument, it does still nevertheless require practice, even though we both are genetically good at recognizing pitches and patterns.

You mean that there are different ways of listening to music? Listening to music must be done in a certain way in order for it to be ear training?
You leave out a lot of info. This is what we call problematic pedagogy.
I am willing to learn from you. Please give me some advice. How did (or do) you listen to a song?
So if someone played a minor chord arpeggio you listened to it in a certain way and then just repeated it (acapella)?

But, our son and I both have abilities to hear a song a few times and sing it back pretty well now, with regards to pitches, tempo, loudness parts, and feeling.

doesn't this requiere a very good memory?
I memorize by understandiing things, both technically and musically. I cannot memorize what I do not understand.
Also, I guess that does not apply to all repertoir, right?

 

[1ForAll]

You mean that there are different ways of listening to music? Listening to music must be done in a certain way in order for it to be ear training?
You leave out a lot of info. This is what we call problematic pedagogy.
I am willing to learn from you. Please give me some advice. How did (or do) you listen to a song?
So if someone played a minor chord arpeggio you listened to it in a certain way and then just repeated it (acapella)?


doesn't this requiere a very good memory?
I memorize by understandiing things, both technically and musically. I cannot memorize what I do not understand.
Also, I guess that does not apply to all repertoir, right?

The reason why I left out information is that ear training involves many things, and as I did not know what items you wanted detail on.

To start, one can more naturally have ear training just by enjoying listening to songs regularly and listening to the varying beats, tempo, one or more feelings expressed by the singer, and the changing loudness parts, either consciously or unconsciously. In our case, we did not focus on one genre, but listening to a variety: easy listening, soft rock/pop, country, harder rock, and even classical, and while I was studying every detail of those songs as music is a hyper-focus, our son was just enjoying the music and learning ear training partly that way, but especially with regards to the first three to four genres mentioned, as I knew our son's voice should not be singing louder songs because of thinner vocal chords between ages seven and eleven. Now though, as his voice is changing, and getting deeper, he has more options.

Also, ear training often involves a vocal instructor doing warm up scale exercises, and other pitch changing exercises where the pitch goes many steps higher and lower, to get one used to matching their voice with pitches, both sequentially and not sequentially. Then there are piano apps (too many to name, so search around) where you can see if your voice accurately matches the pitches, and tuners and pitch pipes you can buy online or in-person at music stores that you utilize for ear training for pitches. Ear training is not just about matching pitches though, but matching the length of the notes being sung, and the dynamics (loudness) and feeling there. Then vibrato, staccato, and legato come into play, and that is a big part of singing/music too. If you prefer a smooth style that is more legato, and connecting the lyrics in a flowing way. A choppy, quick singing style is more staccato, and Josh Groban for instance is into Vibrato, a quick vibrating sound he makes for lyric parts, and legato. Often singers uses all three in their songs, or at least two.

One great thing about singing and playing is that there is no right or wrong way to do it, but some persons want precise ways to do it. There will be very precise teachers that teach by the books, but less precise ones that may want one to learn in the ways best for them, and in the steps best for them. Then there are the teachers that are even more open-minded or creative, and they will teach things in fun ways, or ways that traditional teachers do not do. Traditional instructors are into sheet music, and learning all about that. That is often how they were trained, or they think that is what most students should learn if they want to be seen as more experts and advanced. But, you would be surprised at how many vocalists and those who play instruments are not into using much sheet music. The instrumentalist may mostly use chords and the singer, just singing by ear, or improvising. Really, the choice how best to learn is up to you, as you need to pick a teaching method that motivates you, after research.

As for a great memory, all great singers and musicians need adequate ability to recall information, and to eventually process musical things quickly. That may take time, much practice, or come more naturally. There is no right or wrong answer there. Multitasking ability is a common need for these performers, as they have to do many things at once. The good thing is that one needs not be a perfectionist to be good at music, but just to have a strong interest in such and work ethic there. Lots with adhd are into this field, too, and they succeed just as much, as they use their creativity and multitasking skills there.

I would be glad to answer your questions based on what worked for us, and if you have music questions I will do my best there. Feel free to ask publicly or privately. My wife is into music too, so she could help with some questions as well, as she has a different learning style.

 

[harrietjansson]

The reason why I left out information is that ear training involves many things, and as I did not know what items you wanted detail on.

To start, one can more naturally have ear training just by enjoying listening to songs regularly and listening to the varying beats, tempo, one or more feelings expressed by the singer, and the changing loudness parts, either consciously or unconsciously. In our case, we did not focus on one genre, but listening to a variety: easy listening, soft rock/pop, country, harder rock, and even classical, and while I was studying every detail of those songs as music is a hyper-focus, our son was just enjoying the music and learning ear training partly that way, but especially with regards to the first three to four genres mentioned, as I knew our son's voice should not be singing louder songs because of thinner vocal chords between ages seven and eleven. Now though, as his voice is changing, and getting deeper, he has more options.

Also, ear training often involves a vocal instructor doing warm up scale exercises, and other pitch changing exercises where the pitch goes many steps higher and lower, to get one used to matching their voice with pitches, both sequentially and not sequentially. Then there are piano apps (too many to name, so search around) where you can see if your voice accurately matches the pitches, and tuners and pitch pipes you can buy online or in-person at music stores that you utilize for ear training for pitches. Ear training is not just about matching pitches though, but matching the length of the notes being sung, and the dynamics (loudness) and feeling there. Then vibrato, staccato, and legato come into play, and that is a big part of singing/music too. If you prefer a smooth style that is more legato, and connecting the lyrics in a flowing way. A choppy, quick singing style is more staccato, and Josh Groban for instance is into Vibrato, a quick vibrating sound he makes for lyric parts, and legato. Often singers uses all three in their songs, or at least two.

One great thing about singing and playing is that there is no right or wrong way to do it, but some persons want precise ways to do it. There will be very precise teachers that teach by the books, but less precise ones that may want one to learn in the ways best for them, and in the steps best for them. Then there are the teachers that are even more open-minded or creative, and they will teach things in fun ways, or ways that traditional teachers do not do. Traditional instructors are into sheet music, and learning all about that. That is often how they were trained, or they think that is what most students should learn if they want to be seen as more experts and advanced. But, you would be surprised at how many vocalists and those who play instruments are not into using much sheet music. The instrumentalist may mostly use chords and the singer, just singing by ear, or improvising. Really, the choice how best to learn is up to you, as you need to pick a teaching method that motivates you, after research.

As for a great memory, all great singers and musicians need adequate ability to recall information, and to eventually process musical things quickly. That may take time, much practice, or come more naturally. There is no right or wrong answer there. Multitasking ability is a common need for these performers, as they have to do many things at once. The good thing is that one needs not be a perfectionist to be good at music, but just to have a strong interest in such and work ethic there. Lots with adhd are into this field, too, and they succeed just as much, as they use their creativity and multitasking skills there.

I would be glad to answer your questions based on what worked for us, and if you have music questions I will do my best there. Feel free to ask publicly or privately. My wife is into music too, so she could help with some questions as well, as she has a different learning style.

The diagnostic criteria for asperger's mentions issues with motor skills.
I have had issues with motor skills.
Not anymore I guess. I did some training but I still need to learn how to act more physically. My teacher even use acting techniques (they are awesome) and they help me act more physically. Even listening is physical activity. Singing is more physical than what teachers think. People are different but I see singing as acting. I use my whole body when sing well. Sure I should relax certain muscle but I need good physical and mental alignment.
I have been told to stand stil in front of a piano and sing but that never really helped. Acting more physically helped. I need to be activated. I use an app on the cellphone for checking pitch sometimes. I don't hear myself that well. I am better at it now. What I am good at is the storytelling and acting part of the singing. I need to be more physycal in order to become a better listener.
Is this an ASD issue?

After using acting techniques I started listening to more comedic opera. I dont really listen to opera that much but I do like good acting. A person still for fpur minutes singing is really weird sometimes. I cannot leatn being being too serious.
I also cannot stand learning by reading books in library silence. I have no ADHD at all.

 

[1ForAll]

The diagnostic criteria for asperger's mentions issues with motor skills.
I have had issues with motor skills.
Not anymore I guess. I did some training but I still need to learn how to act more physically. My teacher even use acting techniques (they are awesome) and they help me act more physically. Even listening is physical activity. Singing is more physical than what teachers think. People are different but I see singing as acting. I use my whole body when sing well. Sure I should relax certain muscle but I need good physical and mental alignment.
I have been told to stand stil in front of a piano and sing but that never really helped. Acting more physically helped. I need to be activated. I use an app on the cellphone for checking pitch sometimes. I don't hear myself that well. I am better at it now. What I am good at is the storytelling and acting part of the singing. I need to be more physycal in order to become a better listener.
Is this an ASD issue?

My son who sings and plays has gross motor skill difficulties, but less of fine motor skill issues, whereas I have no limitations there. He is great at moving his fingers fast for video games, and is getting better each day at piano playing in terms of speed and accuracy there too. But, he lacks some coordination and smoothness for gross motor movements, and that is why he did likely not advance at singing contests, and is not into sports. It likely wasn't because of how he sang, but they wanted that stage presence and body feeling shown. They did not know about his Autism, and we never advertised it. His past vocal instructor wanted him to smile a lot when singing, and to move in a flowing way with his hands and body, depending on the song. That is not natural for him, and it is more difficult. Then he overthinks things, and it came across as more awkward.