I used to get very hung up on the fact that I’ve never dated when I was younger. I’ve had one experience that I had thought was a first relationship whilst at university, but I allowed myself to be used for sex and didn’t really realize it until much later; I even had my dad begging me that I could do better because being strangled was not something that was treating me right and I didn’t understand that until much later. At first I felt a lot of anger, mainly towards myself and now I just take it as a learning experience but I’m wondering how far I’ve taken that viewpoint to consider it to be more of a disassociation like it’s not me. I think because of this, Unlike others I don’t get obsessed about my single status. I don’t feel like I have a desire to be in a relationship *or to have friendships. However, I don’t know if it is because I’ve learnt the hard way so I am trying to safeguard as I do this a lot OR if I have desire at all. I do Experience attractions, I have made contact with a person but nothing came out of it because I had some weird freak out about taking things to the next step.
So, am I safeguarding myself from further potential hurts or am I just not interested in relationships?
So, am I safeguarding myself from further potential hurts or am I just not interested in relationships?