Is it possible to get back with someone?

[Jorg]

This may be 2 threads/forums in one. As many of you I also have lost many people because of my aspie perks, more recently in this lasts 2 years than in any other stage of my life.

I'm regurlaly fine, sometimes an anxiety issues there and there but since I'm studing I focus in it very well. But sometimes my dreams makes me wonder about some issues and make me remember someone I lost before. My psicologist says dreams are result of something I watched or did before sleep but when I dream of someone I can asure you I didn't watched or made something related to them. Popular belief says dreaming with someone is result of them thinking of even dreaming about you too, but that's just a popular belief without any scientific proof.

Anyway, today I dreamed of a girl I used to be friend until june last year, she was my forst kiss and long story short after several years of she knowing she liked me we ended up kissing but as an aspie I didn't know what to do next and I vanished for several months, after I tried to communicate with her she blocked me from FB.

By that time I tried to get help and advices from my psychiatrist (did I spell it ok? that's a tricky word for a non english speaker lol) after I share some screenshots of publications with her she told me sshe probably was an aspie too but probably not diagnosed.

Anyway, do you believe is it posible so get back with her or with a peron in your opinion? sometimes I have a hard time knowing the errors I made with her, ometime I jut want to help her with her aspie side without tell her nothing about being an aspie, just make her feel better.

 

[hurtloam]

Ugh dreams like that are awful. I had a dream like that last week where I was walking in the park with this man I used to like and we were happy and just enjoying ourselves. I woke up and realised that I probably won't spend time with him like that again and I just felt sad.

I'm not sure that I can salvage our friendship (I can't call it a relationship, it never really turned into anything). It just didn't work out. I had a feeling last year that he liked me more than a friend, but it just didn't seem to work out. Everytime we tried to meet up things went wrong.

I am not sure I can salvage it. I tried to add him on a social media site, but he deleted his whole account (he didn't block me, I know because I have another account under a fake name for public posts and he was no where to be seen).

If she blocked you that's a bad sign. How do you know her? Can you say a friendly hello, how are you in person to test the water?

You maybe hurt her and she doesn't want to feel used and discarded. I think I would feel very hurt if someone I liked kissed me and then didn't speak to me again.

 

[Keigan]

Nope,

If she blocked you then that door is closed, don't go there.

People go there separate ways for a reason.

 

[HelpNeededinNYC]

Hi there - I know it's been many weeks since you asked this question but I thought I would add an opinion.

I'm a NT so if she believes she may be an aspie too I can't speak from that perspective but I can speak from the perspective of a female (who has had a male disappear or leave) and just from a human.

I think you need to think of it as it's never too late to try. You can't control people and you can't predict the outcome but you shouldn't live your life with what ifs and being haunted by those dreams right?

Also, if something like this happened to me, no matter what the situation was, I would love an apology and explanation.

I'm a little confused on the timeline of things on when you told her you were an aspie - did you reach out tell her share the screenshots and then she blocked you? How many months after was that?

I think since a whole year has gone by, it would be fine to try and reach out to use (if she blocked you on Facebook, do you hVe her email? Phone number? It's better to reach out via written word so she has the option to respond or not. Sometimes text is nice.)

I would try to keep the first message lightly apologetic, not too explanatory, and kind. Tell her you're sorry for what happened, you've been working on things, you still think About her. You would love to reconnect.

The worst case scenario is you hear back but maybe some of the "haunting" will stop. And you can't say you didn't try your best. And from a female perspective, in no way is that a "jerk" message to receive.

 

[Jorg]

Ugh dreams like that are awful. I had a dream like that last week where I was walking in the park with this man I used to like and we were happy and just enjoying ourselves. I woke up and realised that I probably won't spend time with him like that again and I just felt sad.

I'm not sure that I can salvage our friendship (I can't call it a relationship, it never really turned into anything). It just didn't work out. I had a feeling last year that he liked me more than a friend, but it just didn't seem to work out. Everytime we tried to meet up things went wrong.

I am not sure I can salvage it. I tried to add him on a social media site, but he deleted his whole account (he didn't block me, I know because I have another account under a fake name for public posts and he was no where to be seen).

If she blocked you that's a bad sign. How do you know her? Can you say a friendly hello, how are you in person to test the water?

You maybe hurt her and she doesn't want to feel used and discarded. I think I would feel very hurt if someone I liked kissed me and then didn't speak to me again.

We met at highschool, I liked her a lot but I was to shy and she was also, I don't know, if I can say a hello, I would love to tell her. I still am friend of her sister in FB and last month I told her (sister) that if she can told her Happy Birthday because her birthday is on june and I never forget that kind of dates/special occations. I told her it wasn't necessary to tell her it was from me just that someone wanted to wish her a nice day.

I know that I did wrong but I just didn't know how to proceed after the last time we went out back then, and it is something that hunts me everyday.

I sometimes search for her on google ( I know it's not right) and many of the results from her are with sad fb statuses, it makes me feel guilty but more like powerless because I want to help her feel happy.

Today I dreamed about her again, I was at college campus and I saw her (she doesn't study there), I felt fear but I remember trying to talk to her and tell her how sorry I was for all that have happened. Most of my dreams follow the same line, just trying to tell her I'm sorry.

Hi there - I know it's been many weeks since you asked this question but I thought I would add an opinion.

I'm a NT so if she believes she may be an aspie too I can't speak from that perspective but I can speak from the perspective of a female (who has had a male disappear or leave) and just from a human.

I think you need to think of it as it's never too late to try. You can't control people and you can't predict the outcome but you shouldn't live your life with what ifs and being haunted by those dreams right?

Also, if something like this happened to me, no matter what the situation was, I would love an apology and explanation.

I'm a little confused on the timeline of things on when you told her you were an aspie - did you reach out tell her share the screenshots and then she blocked you? How many months after was that?

I think since a whole year has gone by, it would be fine to try and reach out to use (if she blocked you on Facebook, do you hVe her email? Phone number? It's better to reach out via written word so she has the option to respond or not. Sometimes text is nice.)

I would try to keep the first message lightly apologetic, not too explanatory, and kind. Tell her you're sorry for what happened, you've been working on things, you still think About her. You would love to reconnect.

The worst case scenario is you hear back but maybe some of the "haunting" will stop. And you can't say you didn't try your best. And from a female perspective, in no way is that a "jerk" message to receive.

1. She doesn't know I made screenshots about our texts, I only shared them with my therapists to know their opinion.

2. The last thing I shared with her was a prom picture we took together at prom....wait around august/september I send her a hand written letter with her sister trying to explain myself.

3. In some aspects I think I've grown as a person, I don't feel as shy as before and another hard lessons have tought me a lot on how to approach some things.

This last couple of weeks I've wanted to send her a song I share with her in one of our "dates" but I just don't want to be creepy.