• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Is it possible to get an Aspie back?

TheDevineSpirit

TheDevineSpirit

Active Member
Hello,

I am turning towards people with similar experience.

Is it possible to get an Aspie back if you're willing to amend for your mistakes, become better and have acknowledged and apologized for your wrong behavior?

The aspie has stated that she can no longer be part of the relationship, but would still like us to be friends & do activities together, have conversations.
She has also added that maybe in the future we may fall back together.

Is it possible that she changes her mind or her asperger wouldn't permit?

I would appreciate for honest feedback and with examples if possible.
 
Sure, its possible. But the relationship is not over for no reason. I assume you are still on good terms with her seeing as see still wants to be friends with her. I advice you to respect her decision to end the relationship and not get overly clingy or something similar. If you want to be friends with her thats your choose. You cant really change a persons opinion on wanting to be in a relationship with you, you can hope but dont hold your breath.

Sorry, I cant give you examples. I have never been in a relationship.
 
I have a long established Asperger's diagnosis and I have reopened relationships with people who previously hurt me, but it turned out to be a bad idea for me. I would not do it again. If this girl is willing to do so has more to do with her feelings and her experiences than her autism.
 
It’s not necessarily impossible, but not necessarily plausible either. It all depends on the person in question and the history between you two. Your ex being an Aspie doesn’t have much effect on the chances of a happy reunion.
 
Last edited:
Depends on your mistake. If it was cheating then the relationship cannot be repaired unless she is also polygamous.
 
I've gone back to one person once, one person three times, and one person twelve times!

Not a single time was a good idea!

In my experience, someone who says something like, "willing to amend for your mistakes, become better and have acknowledged and apologized for your wrong behavior" actually means that they will do those things in order to get to you back and once they're comfortable in the relationship again, return to their old behavior, because that's who they are.

But this question, to me, is sorta like asking if someone with Asperger's would ever opt for the fish when asked if they want fish or chicken.
 
Fino said:
But this question, to me, is sorta like asking if someone with Asperger's would ever opt for the fish when asked if they want fish or chicken.
Click to expand...

Bravo my fine friend! That has encapsulated something I have struggled to find the words for, for a long time, in one snappy sentence.
I take my hat off to you!

hats-off-gif-9.gif
 
Autistamatic said:
Bravo my fine friend! That has encapsulated something I have struggled to find the words for, for a long time, in one snappy sentence.
I take my hat off to you!

hats-off-gif-9.gif
Click to expand...

Thank you, thank you! :) I don't know how I do it! ;)

Actually I really don't! "Stream of Consciousness" would be the name of my biography! :D

Wow, that was the first time I ever perceived that phrase with the word "stream" referring to a body of water. Now it seems really poetic! I wonder if most people had already thought of it that way. :eek:
 
You have a fine mind @Fino
I know you've faced many demons and lived through so much, but it has forged you into a person who is wise beyond your years. You make some profound comments even when you don't realise :)

Oh and the "stream of consciousness" analogy - I always see it as electricity but we all see things in different ways ;)
 
I think so but it does depend on the situation/mistake that caused the breakup in the 1st place.
 
"In literary criticism, stream of consciousness is a narrative mode or method that attempts 'to depict the multitudinous thoughts and feelings which pass through the mind' of a narrator. The term was coined by William James in 1890 in his The Principles of Psychology, and in 1918 the novelist May Sinclair (1863–1946) first applied the term stream of consciousness, in a literary context, when discussing Dorothy Richardson's (1873–1957) novels."

Stream of consciousness - Wikipedia
Stream of consciousness (psychology) - Wikipedia
Stream of consciousness (disambiguation) - Wikipedia
 
Autistamatic said:
You have a fine mind @Fino
I know you've faced many demons and lived through so much, but it has forged you into a person who is wise beyond your years. You make some profound comments even when you don't realise :)

Oh and the "stream of consciousness" analogy - I always see it as electricity but we all see things in different ways ;)
Click to expand...

Thank you so much! :wineglass: I have great respect for you, so it means a lot! :lollipop:
 
Fino said:
Thank you so much! :wineglass: I have great respect for you, so it means a lot! :lollipop:
Click to expand...

It goes both ways. You have taught me so much in the few months I've been here. There are a few members here I would hate to lose contact with, and you are amongst them. I am grateful for your respect, but please understand it is wholeheartedly reflected :)
 
Last edited:
TheDevineSpirit said:
Hello,

I am turning towards people with similar experience.

Is it possible to get an Aspie back if you're willing to amend for your mistakes, become better and have acknowledged and apologized for your wrong behavior?

The aspie has stated that she can no longer be part of the relationship, but would still like us to be friends & do activities together, have conversations.
She has also added that maybe in the future we may fall back together.

Is it possible that she changes her mind or her asperger wouldn't permit?

I would appreciate for honest feedback and with examples if possible.
Click to expand...
Honestly from experience, if you want this person back, you have to genuinely stop wanting her back. That sounds impossible because you still have feelings for her. But I’ve done a lot of soul searching in myself recently, and I can quite confidently tell you that you need to look after yourself first, build your self esteem, your self confidence, learn to control your emotions until you’ve built something where you’re sure you’re both on the same page. She obviously likes you, and sees good in you. But if you’re having issues and want to fix them, it’s a lot more than just saying you will, it’s actually digging deep and putting theory into practice.
Researching is a good place to start, get on the internet and look up ‘Law of attraction’ if you’re serious about it, then you’ll have more questions about the content you read, and search for other relevant stuff until you feel like you’re getting somewhere. It’s basically figuring out yourself first and looking after yourself. It’s not easy, can be quite painful in fact to learn about yourself. Your success will be based on how much you want something.
 
@Onna
Thank you. I have already begun analyzing my mistakes and planning strategies to overcome them & work on myself (videos, articles, books). I write everything down. I've been struggling with some form of SAD over the years. Also at first I was very lost but now I am focusing more on what I want to pursue and accomplish. The break up doesn't change my goals.

I want to fight for her but not go in a needy/pushy way about it. I prefer actions to words. I have tried with words but they don't work. So how can I show it to her that I can change?

@Fino & @Autistamatic
The question I have can maybe be phrased better like this: would her asperger prevent her from ever coming back? (since she can't lie) In other words, would her condition affect her decision? Since she has stated it was final decision but say, I prove her otherwise, would it prevent her from changing her opinion?

For example, having asperger in mind, is it a good idea to cut off contact with her or still keep in touch from time to time? What would you do if an ex kept in touch and if they didn't?

Also I am aware it is possible to fall back into old habits. I have done it before myself but I have always applied a correction afterward, an improved version so to speak & never repeat the mistake after I notice the pattern. Noticing has been the hardest part.

Also, she doesn't have experience in other relationships.

@Hdphn33
The reason for the breakup is not cheating.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom