1. Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Is it better to find love before or after you have money?

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by Wolf Prince, Oct 9, 2019.

  1. Wolf Prince

    Wolf Prince My future job title.

    Messages:
    1,198
    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2019
    Karma:
    +1,948
    Just looking for opinions on this question.
     
  2. GadAbout

    GadAbout Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,212
    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2018
    Karma:
    +3,103
    That's a silly question. Most of us are lucky to find either, at any time.
     
    • Agree Agree x 7
    • Winner Winner x 3
  3. Questella

    Questella Peace, Love and all that good stuff

    Messages:
    891
    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2015
    Karma:
    +839
    Like you get to choose :p
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    4,205
    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2018
    Karma:
    +8,765
    After, so you can spend money on them and do things together which cost money.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  5. SolarPoweredNightOwl

    SolarPoweredNightOwl Walking contradiction

    Messages:
    122
    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Karma:
    +393
    You could always go for a sugar mama :p
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
  6. AMANDA DESIREE WILSON

    AMANDA DESIREE WILSON Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2019
    Karma:
    +92
    First of all, what is money and what is love.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Overly complicated potato V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,900
    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2017
    Karma:
    +10,504
    Money doesn’t play a role in my attraction to people, so it wouldn’t matter to me. I usually date broke guys with awesome personalities.

    That being said, people who have their business in order and their life on the right track are generally thought more attractive than people who don’t. Money can attract gold diggers though.

    Anyway, love will find you when you’re least expecting it, it’s not really something you can plan.
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
  8. Sarah S

    Sarah S Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,127
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2018
    Karma:
    +1,412
    I agree 101 % with Bolletje (only i havent dated but il go out with poor men as well. Money dont matter in love )
     
  9. AMANDA DESIREE WILSON

    AMANDA DESIREE WILSON Member

    Messages:
    38
    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2019
    Karma:
    +92
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,599
    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Karma:
    +1,215
    There's definitely a hidden factor of money being a factor with many people I think. You don't want people to take advantage of you if you have some or a lot of money. For this reason, I think it's okay to consider pre-nups rather than get paranoid about if you can level with someone or not. I had to learn this the hard way unfortunately.

    Some people may say money doesn't matter, but it can matter if other things don't quite line up enough. Some people may need it as an initial trust so that they don't feel like you're gold digging on them because they don't want that.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Messages:
    3,812
    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2018
    Karma:
    +10,048
    If it's real love, it wouldn't matter.
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

    Messages:
    3,511
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2019
    Karma:
    +6,124
    Not really sure.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2019
  13. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,599
    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2013
    Karma:
    +1,215
    If you don't have a lot of money to work with, it's easy to say that money doesn't matter.

    People could use that as a cover up. If the relationship doesn't work out to the person who has a lot less, then one partner could arguably undeservedly lose out a lot on things they maybe should arguably have not lost out on.

    One could also argue that if you are not okay with signing a pre-nup that that is not love either.
    It could be love to define the terms even though that doesn't sound organic.
    After all, we are only human and there could be a tinge or greediness is us all.

    I think the adage/pre-conception that in real love, money doesn't matter at all just doesn't work in the real life in most cases. I do think you can real love someone but care about money too.

    In fact, it's respectful to care about money in certain ways. You spend within your needs or something that reasonably respects a quality balance between yourself, your partner, your savings, and respects you and the other person's time, energy, effort to/make and save that money, their culture/personality/beliefs/standards as well as yours. That, to me, is what real love is with dealing with money.
     
    • Like Like x 1