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Intruding myself, hello!

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Poppyflowergirl

New Member
Hello everyone. I am a mother of a boy with ASD, he turns 19 next week. I have to say that this journey has been REALLY difficult at times, obviously far more difficult for my son. My son is going off to university in September and wishes to live in halls, I am terrified, as he has always depended on me to get him through and understand life. Parenting someone with ASD is (for me) uncharted waters and I want to help him in the best way I can. So I am looking for support and experiences from others that have parented teenagers with ASD or those who are living with it as a young adult.
 
Hi and welcome! I hope you find good support on this forum.

I'm not a parent, but I'm an autistic young adult who has been to university and lived in university halls. Honestly, I found it really awful. It does depend on the halls and the things that bother your son in particular, but if he finds people and noise overwhelming, it's really not something I would recommend. I hated always being surrounded by people. Even if they weren't physically in the same room, the fact I could always hear people really bothered me. But then, I am very noise sensitive.

In this situation, since it's what your son wants to do, it may be a case of supporting him in it as much as possible, and being there for him if it falls apart.
 
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I can no longer describe myself as a young adult, but I was one once. I also stayed in university accommodation. If he is going to be staying in halls, it's a good idea to find out which ones are in a quiet area of town/campus and also speak to the accommodation office, explain the situation and ask that he be placed at the end of the corridor away from the common room or kitchen where people tend to congregate. I was lucky in that although I was initially put in a noisy corridor, I was able to move and found a room in a much quieter block at the end of the corridor, which made a big difference because I only had 1 (quiet) neighbour and people weren't going past my door all the time.
 
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Welcome to the forum.

Although residence hall issues with noise are significant, we sometimes overlook how regular, prepared meals are a good thing for autistic people. It is one more piece of executive function that they don't need to be responsible for.
 
Hi Poppy. :) I'm 61 and just recently diagnosed, but I remember my childhood and my teen years and early adult years very well. I was raised no different than my siblings or anyone else and that worked with me for the most part, but there are a few things where it definitely did not. Make certain he knows how and is able to say no when pressured. And make sure he knows it's wrong for others to force him to do things. Having a lack of knowledge on those two things can be life changing.
 
Welcome to the Forums! I hope you make new friends and enjoy your stay in the process! :)
 
Welcome Poppyflowergirl, as one who went through the move-away experience, there is little to worry about where your son is concerned. As with anything new, check out and get familiar with the campus layout and services. Take the time to make notes in a phone, i.e., names, contact info, hours, and addresses. Explore the campus together so that his stories about life at college make some sense to you. For the most part, he'll enjoy getting settled in with the other students doing the same thing. It's going to be an exciting time for him. You can still be supportive, but from a distance. A new environment is a challenge, but he is best off making his way through his day-to-day routines on his own. He'll make friends too. That is another support system. Pats suggested that you make it clear to him that he should be aware of bad influences. I agree completely. Your son will find his own way of dealing with the new place and new people. Going away to school is a milestone.
 
Welcome Poppyflowergirl!
I'm 62 and never had children, but, as others have posted, I did go to University.
Only thing is I lived so close to it that I didn't need to stay there.
I have no idea what it would have been like, but, I certainly wish the best for you and your son.
Hope you enjoy the company here as much as I do. :)
 
Make sure he remembers to shower! It sounds silly but at university age I was terrible at that, and we really don't need any extra reasons to be excluded.
 
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