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Featured INTJ & Aspie or just INTJ ?

Discussion in 'Love, Relationships and Dating' started by LucyPurrs, Feb 10, 2018.

  1. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Recently my friend has taken the Myers Briggs and said he's an INTJ. He is a classic INTJ as a matter of fact and it explained a lot of what I found puzzling about him. But he also has heightened sensory issues with sound and smell and has some social difficulties, e.g. he is totally unable to tell when someone is flirting with him, sometimes seems confused by sarcasm but also uses it sometimes and I think he has difficulty developing trust & closeness with others. He admits he doesn't really understand feelings and has difficulty expressing them (in a very INTJ way). He also won't talk on the phone with me and has said it is very hard for him to tolerate more than a very limited amount of interaction with others each day. He's very into computer games (how we met), Magic the Gathering and some other interests. He has had 4 relationships with women in the past. He's highly functioning and extremely intelligent. He's stated he has always felt like an outcast or alien because others don't understand him. He has never mentioned meltdowns and I haven't asked him. He has been consistent in maintaining contact (via chat only) with me over a period of 29 months and has, I believe without a doubt, been totally honest with me.

    I joined this forum to better understand him because I really care about him very much. He's now said that he is happy to meet others who think like him (other INTJs) and has joined a group on the internet. I'm thrilled for him. But since he has never been diagnosed with ASD, I'm now wondering if I've totally misinterpreted what I know about him. Any comments? I don't want to be an imposter here- if you all feel he's not likely also got ASD then I feel like I should leave the forum even though I love talking with all of you.
     
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  2. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Has he ever taken the AQ test or the Aspie test? These can be a good indicator as to whether a person is on the spectrum or not. Have you talked to him about his possibly having ASD? Is he self diagnosed - I mean, does he suspect it too, or is it just you who suspects it?
     
  3. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    In what way does the Meyers Briggs personality classification system
    have any bearing whatsoever?
     
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  4. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    No he hasn't taken the test and I tentatively raised it at one point and he was so upset (I think due to his lack of understanding what ASD is) that I backed off immediately and haven't raised it again. He felt like if he was he would have already been diagnosed (he's had psychiatric treatment in past for depression). So yes, it's just been me who suspects it after researching his traits and behaviors in effort to better understand and connect with him.
     
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  5. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Well, I'm wondering if I have mistaken his INTJ personality traits for ASD. But he has stuff in addition to his INTJ traits that to me point to possible ASD, like his sensory issues for one.
     
  6. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I wouldn't use MB as conclusive evidence for anything.

    It's a personnel sorting device that people seem to take
    as something to "believe" in.

    It's purely descriptive, based on self report.
    Not evaluative, or objective.
     
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  7. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Understood and point taken but in fact the description of an INTJ fits him so well it's erie.
     
  8. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Sure.
    Some people describe themselves adequately.

    A Meyers Briggs classification doesn't mean that there
    is not some other way to describe that person.
     
  9. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Ok. Not sure what to do at this point re staying here or not. Guess I'll see what others think about this. I don't want to abuse my welcome here or like I said be some sort of imposter.
     
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  10. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Seems to me that being unsure is a good enough reason to stay.
    How else will you get first hand knowledge?
    Having an interest in spectrum related issues is a legitimate
    reason to be on AC.
     
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  11. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Thanks Tree. I would certainly like to stay. I truly enjoy this place and feel at home here now. And I would really miss many of you if I left.
     
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  12. Progster

    Progster Gone sideways to the sun V.I.P Member

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    Personally, I find your insight from an NT perspective very valuable, and I think that your input helps a lot of people. Actually, I wish there were more kind, non-judgemental NTs on the site. I would be sad if you left.

    Edit: I don't think that there is any rule saying that one has to be on the spectrum to contribute to the site and to the discussions, an interest in ASD is the only 'qualification' needed, I think.
     
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  13. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Thank you so much- that means more than I can say.
     
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  14. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    It's always appreciated to see someone spend so much time here in an attempt to understand it all. And it's not an easy thing to understand to begin with. :)
     
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  15. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Don't think for one second of leaving.

    End of.

    You must've heard of the purrs exception?
     
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  16. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman I only have one V.I.P Member

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    Please do say. She's one compliment short of a set :)
     
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  17. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    Oh my, thanks so much Fridge! Your comments and the others all mean a LOT to me. One thing I share with all of you is that I grew up never feeling part of the crowd or accepted for who I was. I feel that acceptance here and it is so special to me.
     
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  18. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    what matters personally to me is how I was treated before I was diagnosed I wish neuro typical people had treated me the way autistic people treat you.
     
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  19. LucyPurrs

    LucyPurrs NT V.I.P Member

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    I couldn't agree with you more!
     
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  20. Katleya

    Katleya Sarcasm Lover V.I.P Member

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    I'm sorry, what?!?
    Why would you leave? Your interest in ASD is reason enough for you to be a legitimate member.
    I personally find your presence very encouraging & uplifting, it helps keep in perspective that there can be more to life than "Spectrumites vs. TheWorld", and that there are indeed NTs willing to learn about us & participate in building stronger bridges, which is a nice change to the bullying, bashing and rejection. It gives me not just perspective, but also hope.

    I see you as an NT Ally, and it's worth so much. Please stay :) (And please don't think you don't belong here)

    As for your other question, I'm also an INTJ, but even with all of the overlapping elements, I clearly don't feel it's enough to explain everything, so I don't feel it would be interchangeable with Asperger's, mostly because of the sensory issues, but not just that.
     
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