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In the dating world do you come off as clingy?

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by AspieOtaku, Feb 25, 2021.

  1. AspieOtaku

    AspieOtaku Leader of the otaku legion!

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    I do, i come off as smothering and cuddling too much it drains energy, then im alone and sad. I dont mean to, i love alot, i love too much, pushed away i dont feel love but sad. I feel unloved I come off as clingy i over love to avoid being alone, i do what it takes to feel loved back but . im alone again. Ohh your a sweet guy but your too clingy. Luckily i have a female aspie partner seen as clingy i love her attention, i love love lots of it i like her being clingy im not alone i feel loved.
     
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  2. unperson

    unperson Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    naw, probably more aloof.

    some people like clingly, it's not uncommon, but it can make you easily abused.
     
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  3. OkRad

    OkRad μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος οὐλομένην V.I.P Member

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    My best relationship was something of a bit clingy. We were so into each other that we spent all out time together and did all sorts of things together all the time. We loved each other, pure and simple. It was the stuff of poets.

    So it worked because it was clingy with the right person. It has to be both feeling the same.

    I do hope you find someone to love you to pieces and loves to be loved by you!
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2021
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  4. AprilR

    AprilR Well-Known Member

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    I have never dated someone, but in my friendships there was always someone clingy. Either me or the other party. I don't think i have ever had a healthy relationship of any kind.
     
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  5. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I recall a time in the past many years of therapy I did, realising that the various people I had had relationships with were all like either my father or my mother. Or, put it more specifically, what was problematic about them was what was problematic about either my mother or my father. Oooooeeeeoooo :eek:. Unresolved issues? I think so...
     
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  6. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Probably aloof. Clingy requires trust on my part.
     
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  7. _eri_bellehumeur

    _eri_bellehumeur Active Member

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    I was more so when I was young, but only with very specific people. I was lucky enough to have had a friend who was likewise very attached to me. She moved away, and I just never found anyone who I trusted enough to be a level of vulnerable with where my actions could be seen as clingy. I have a tendency to keep people at arms length until I trust them, (this can honestly take years for some people) and most people bail before that time comes, which I can respect and understand.
     
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  8. Wolfsage

    Wolfsage In training to be Wolf King.

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    Question for you. Lita, Ophelia, or jungle woman from Brutal Legend?
     
  9. Amphilyke

    Amphilyke Member

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    I don't know. I thought that I did. I fought very hard to manage my desires and keep them under lock. I thought that I felt things very strongly. But I think the real truth is I was in such extreme situations of course most people don't feel the way I do, because they don't have to put up with the same crap. I don't think of myself as clingy any more. Actually I feel like my openness and affection have seriously declined, I feel I talk to my girlfriend less, I've stopped trying to meet new people, even though after a relationship ends I do usually have a "new partner hiatus" this time feels different, I feel ugly and repulsive, unrelatable, unsuitable for anything but exploitation and abuse, unwanted, un****able, unlovable, but most of all uninterested in getting hurt again.
     
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  10. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I wanted a very close, forever attached love when I was younger.
    But, I know I appeared aloof because I've been told that. It takes a long time for me to trust
    enough to let my feelings show. So they have to be the ice breaker.

    And the feeling of foreverness love does have to be mutual.
    I never found that and now the desire for finding it at my age has all but disappeared.
    It's too draining to dance that dance now and I can't see it happening at this point in life.
    We would each have so much history and baggage, I just don't see it.
     
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  11. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes

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    I wish my friend was a tab more clingy.
    I don't think it's a bad thing. NT's are clingy almost too much. So perhaps by whose standards are you judging yourself by? If you are passionate about another human being, that is a great thing. If they can't accept it then that's okay too.
     
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  12. Thinx

    Thinx Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I forgot to say, I am not as clingy as I was, I am really hardly clingy at all now. In a relationship, I'm affectionate. To most others, friendly but detached. It took many years and a lot of expensive therapy to achieve this. :rolleyes:
     
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