I'm too shy to ask my two neurotypical friends to hang out. Any advice?

[Samuel]

Like many guys with asperger syndrome i have very few real friends, but last school year when i was a sophomore i ended up becoming good friends with these two kids who are both neurotypical's. ( or at least i really hope they're my friends ) They were also freshmen at the time so they're a bit younger than me, but i really enjoy their company because they have fun personalities and are very accepting of people as far as i can tell, yet only one knows i have aspergers and the other apparently doesn't.

I have both their phone numbers and since school got out last month we all talked about hanging out over the summer sometime but ever since school got out i haven't heard much from either of them at all. I actually have talked to them here and there latley but for some reason i'm always the one who has to message them first.
I've been trying to build up the courage to ask them if they would like to hang out next weekend or something but i've been holding back because i think i would be wasting their time by doing so. I won't really care that much if they say no as long as they have a good reason to, but if they do say no i don't want them to think they're hurting my feelings.

I have a history of trust issues because i've either been completely ignored or betrayed by many of my other neurotypical friends/acquaintances, but i trust these guys as of now and i want to get out with them more to hopefully get closer to developing a healthier social life. So how should i go about asking my friends to hang out if i'm nervous? Thanks for your response!

 

[Mia]

It's been awhile since I've been your age. Maybe ask them if they want to play your favourite games with you? Or suggest an activity, like biking if you do that. Or even a movie that your going to see, if they want to go with you or watch it at home with. Make the invite part of an activity, and it might be more appealing.
Whatever brought you together in the first place, might be a reason to get together. Maybe keep it short the first time you meet up, and see if you'd like to do it again in future.

 

[Dillon]

What I do when I want to hang with a friend is based on common intrest. Whether it be fishing or going to the gym if we both like in what we do we go do it.
Maybe you and your friends have something in common that y’all can do together?
If you do have a common intrest maybe text one of them sometime and see if y’all can do something together. Don’t think that you would be wasting their time I mean I feel like that with people when I’m reality I’m not wasting anyone’s time.
I wouldn't take it too literally that they haven’t been texting you maybe they are busy or something I’ve had friends that won’t text me for weeks but talk every now and then.
Also I’ve always i had and even now have trouble trusting some people....however I know who exactly who my friends, are the ones who will never leave me and care for who I am no matter what. I’m sure you have good character and a good person for those people to stay good friends with you I mean they wouldn’t be your friends if they weren’t talking to you at all
I feel like I m being weird about it but hey lol.

 

[Bolletje]

Let them be the ones to decide whether they want to hang out with you or not, you don’t have to decide for them.

 

[Bella Pines]

Maybe work on a script? I have a number of set processes that I follow when dealing with neurotypicals. I just follow the process verbatim and if it doesn't work I either refine the process or find new neurotypicals. So for this I would send a whatsapp/message text as appropriate:

a. VAGUE: Hey, how are you? Having a great summer here, just saw [film].
b. SPECIFIC: Hey, how are you? Fancy meeting up sometime this week?
c. VERY SPECIFIC: Hey, how are you? I'm going to x on y, are you free then?

I then construct flow charts for each response.

 

[Suzanne]

I learned whilst quite young that if a "friend" never wrote or phoned ( this was back in the 90's), that really they can't be that interested and I mean, if I contacted.

I am now much more aware of what friendships mean and I would say that there is one person I would call a friend, because I can be myself around her and even though we text mostly ( due to distance), when ever we see each other, there is never any embarrassment.

I text nearly every day and there have been a few times I thought: am I texting too much? Is she getting annoyed? And then, I might not be somewhere and that very evening, she texts to see if I am ok and thus, confirmation that we are ok.

The interchange now is very much of a: not thinking about it; we just text and so, basing what you have said about these people, I would venture to say that they are being friendly, but not friends, otherwise they would contact you and you would not even think about it.