I'm tired

[agg1]

Sooo I am tired

I am tired of life, like I don’t know what is happening to my mother and when she gonna die but she is really ill my favorite grandma “was taken by the demons of the war” (some mental illness) my dog gonna die this year. Once in a month somebody is in critical state and I dunno if this person will live or not. So death and illness every where. Beautiful. But it’s not on;y problem, if I could just concentrate on being scared of mental and physical state of my close ones, that would be too good. I’m 18 years old which means that I need to start to sort my life out and I have no idea what to do with it, and I need to prepare to my final exams. We are not stopping there. I have also my own “inner” problems, I have social anxiety and AS so making friends with ppl is so damn hard and I just try to do smth about it my entire life but it just kinda cannot go away from me. I am also addicted to sugar and many other things which is another thing that I should take care of. To add some spice to this I am gay and sub so I kinda feel bad about how do I look like all the time cos gays should be either really cute or handsome or smth else but they cannot be as medicore as me. And being a sub makes me really lonely at times, as I under no circustances talk about my type of a guy I’d like or smth like that and kinda anxoius about my future even more. Finally the situation in Poland gets worse and worse every day (especially for gays) and I dunno if I should emigrate to somewhere. In the past I had some strenght to believe that one day all gonna be fine but now I am totally empty of such energy, To all that read this - thanks

 

[Mimi]

Heya
I'm sorry to hear that you seem to be feeling down right now. Life can be so overwhelming at times, right?
Whilst I can't say that I understand how it feels to go through some things that you are, I do have some things that help me that I can recommend that may also help you.
Firstly, I like to break down everything that is troubling me and write it all down as a list. That way, I can see what is overwhelming me and it makes it more manageable as I can visit each issue one at a time.

In regards to your mother and dog's health, it perhaps sounds like you may benefit from some form of therapy or counselling. You mentioned that you go to high school, is it possible that there are any resources there, such as counselors or teachers who you can talk to? I find that communicating my issues is key.

As someone who's also in high school, I can definitely relate to your experience of exams. They are a pain ! All I can say about school is that it's important to prioritize your mental wellbeing, so maybe you could try out something like mindfulness, meditation, yoga, etc? In addition, perhaps you could consider talking to a school counselor about school and careers as well.

I'm not a gay male, but I am a bisexual female, and I am also unsuccessful in love in terms of a love life . But I think it's important not to sweat it, you are very young and a lot of people haven't been in a relationship at that age. It does sound like you may have a low self esteem (I can relate ), luckily there are a lot of LGBTQ+ organisations around the world that offer helplines, chats, and other resources on LGBT topics and mental health. You may find it beneficial to reach out to organisations both in your area and online. Some good websites include The Trevor Project, GLAAD, and Stonewall. In Poland specifically I believe there is Lamba Warszawa. These organisations can also help you with considering migration. x

 

[Alexej]

Welcome to this forum.

May you find space to speak and be heard, and accepted for who you are.

 

[Mimi]

And regarding AS, which I forgot to mention, I definitely think connecting with others on forums such as these is a good idea. There are also a ton of resources out there, as well as schemes in some countries like reduced cinema tickets and a disability living allowance (basically you receive a certain amount of money each month from the government). I definitely would encourage you to look at all the resources, and there are many autistic communities such as this one if you ever need to talk to someone
I'm probably not the best at advice when it comes to social skills since I'm pretty introverted, but I think that we've just got to persevere to find the right people who will like us for our quirks. I've also heard it's a good idea to join meet-ups with other autistic people, if there are any in the local area, as it's less stressful. x

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome. I'm gay too, but I wasn't aware of that til much later in life than you. I guess there are challenges whatever our sexualities, but I m sorry to hear what you are up against, and as you say, the political climate is also problematic. I hope you enjoy it here, and find support and interesting threads to read and respond to.

 

[SusanLR]

Welcome to the forums.
I think you'll find coming here and interacting helpful.
Facing the loss of people close to you in life is very difficult.
It has been my most difficult problem in facing with ASD.
Finding all the resources and support you can is important.

 

[Sarah S]

wellcome to the forum

We all have this days or periods when we feel life is just BLÄH

The main thing is DONT give up on life. life will have its up and downs & we all need too try to get thru this as best as we can