im so triggered why cant i be normal? do you feel the same?

[dadko20]

i suffer from autism and anxiety and i just cant be normal sometimes

how do i deal with this

 

[Rodafina]

Maybe trying to be "normal" is part of the problem.

Any chance you can focus on just being who you are without effort? Figure out what is normal for you and try to identify your strengths and abilities.

Anxiety can take over, but there are many ways to keep it from doing that. It may always ebb and flow, but some things that help it from controlling us are:

- therapy
- learning relaxing breathing techniques
- exercising
- spending time with animals
- writing your feelings in a journal
- talk about your feelings with others (or here)
- learn about the cause of anxiety and try to understand it

 

[Rocco]

When I let go of trying to be normal, and let go of trying to be anything I’m not, everything got a little easier. Some things become more complicated or difficult too, but overall things got simpler.

I embraced who I am and accepted that I will never be like those who seem normal. I practice self care and give myself time to recover from work, life, and social interactions. I told myself it’s not my fault until I began to believe that.

You are special, embrace that.

 

[velociraptor]

i suffer from autism and anxiety and i just cant be normal sometimes

how do i deal with this

I have no interest in being normal. I put my energy into being awesome.

 

[Xinyta]

i suffer from autism and anxiety and i just cant be normal sometimes

how do i deal with this

The first thing is to not speak, or think, of Autism as some illness that must be cured. You can't "suffer" from Autism. What you are feeling are the byproducts of Executive Disfunction.

- Finding certain things like specific sounds, lights, smells, textures, etc. as jarring and uncomfortable.

- Finding that conversations with NTs are awkward, due to not picking up on socail cues that are innately obvious for them.

- Finding certain things fascinating to a degree, that it's all you want to focus on. Aka hyperfixation.

- Finding a rigid, structured, routine that is hard to break and meltdowns will ensue, if it's impeded significantly by anything in life.

- Finding the company of animal companionship being more comforting, than human companionship.

- Needing time to recharge after a big day of being out around people.

I could go on. But yeah. We understand and you are not weird. You are not abnormal. You are not a freak. You are not dumb or selfish. You are a humanbeing that happens to be neurodivergent. There are many good things that come from that.

Also. Never live by the societal standard of 'normal'. That is psychological suicide. There is no such thing as a set in stone example of normal. It's all perception based.

One person's definition of 'normal', is another person's definition of weird.

But at the end of it all. You are you. You are the best you, as a autistic person. To try to pretend otherwise, is a fool's errand.

 

[NB79]

I wish that i knew about autism when i was young, it could have save me lots of effort trying to be normal
and hitting my head in the wall with that, i would just embraced that i was different and take it more easy on myself.

 

[mw2530]

Normal sucks. Just look around at what is "normal" in our society.

 

[WK6824Nine]

people say normal sucks and all but in my case my sensitivities/values have been eroded over the years permanently, im mumbling words in public, more forgetful and less mindful . is it really okay to tell me to be myself without getting into the details

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Being triggered tells us what we're bothered by. Unless you really can't handle it, it's worth examining instead of running away from. Then you can find stability and not worry about being normal. Most "normal" people are probably not as stable as we want to think.

 

[All-Rounder]

Yes. Why oh why was autism bestowed upon me. Why not my mean neighbors. Or my mom. Or my dad. But then I'd likely have it too genetically, so that's a no go.

I could of been a social sheep and not a goat like now. I could of been everything my parents and neighbors wanted, but most importantly I could of been not so exhausted and hurt often. And actually quite happy in my ignorance and inner primate urge. Oh wait, I still am happy in my ignorance often and my primitive camping shenanigans. But I am forever unskilled and weird from their perspectives and the worst thing is being doomed to live with them in a world adjusted to them. So I can't wait to kick the dust and depart from this world. And the things I'll take with me are trees, buses, biker boys, Satan and dogs. And @Aspychata too. We'll create our own world.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I have never wanted to be any one else, my normal had always been normal.

 

[Heroine of Winds]

Normal sucks. Just look around at what is "normal" in our society.

As my family and psychiatrist put it best, what even is normal anymore? Even who we call 'normal' don't feel this way at all.

 

[mw2530]

As my family and psychiatrist put it best, what even is normal anymore? Even who we call 'normal' don't feel this way at all.

You're right, there is no normal and there is a lot of variation in the world and among people. But another way to put it is the things that are common in society. Loneliness, obesity, failed marriages, living with excessive debt, alcoholism, and drug abuse are a few things that are common in our society and they all suck. No offense to those that struggle with any of these, since most of us probably struggle with one ore more of them. But I don't think anyone desires these things. Of course there are also many good things that are common in or society but the negative things are way too common and humans are worthy and capable of more.

Dave Ramsey sometimes says on his show that normal sucks. Maybe that is where I heard it from originally.

Also, I don't want to minimize the struggles of the original poster or what many of us go through with not being able to fit in well with society . This struggle is real and causes many challenges that NT's never have really to deal with. At least not to the same level as we do. I think many of us have had the thought of how much easier life would be if we could communicate and act like NT's

 

[All-Rounder]

What even is Earth. Lion eats gazelle and terrible suffering and survival. Flowers breeding. Abominable, we look at them continuing to grow and lead limited lives and smile. So random and thirsty for ongoing chaos is life. So complex in its lack of purpose til the end of the universe. A world brought together for the purpose of lying, to gain more and more.

 

[velociraptor]

What even is Earth. Lion eats gazelle and terrible suffering and survival. Flowers breeding. Abominable, we look at them continuing to grow and lead limited lives and smile. So random and thirsty for ongoing chaos is life. So complex in its lack of purpose til the end of the universe. A world brought together for the purpose of lying, to gain more and more.

I strongly suggest getting a hobby. You'll be happier.

 

[All-Rounder]

I really don't understand nor have the patience for people judging my way of describing life as unhappiness. On and on and on people jump to conclusions or judge my state of mind or if even I have a hobby. It's one of my hobbies. I'm happiest expressing the ugliness of it all. Recognizing it, accepting it, choosing based on it, and abstaining based on it. My philosophy is that it's absolutely ridiculous and wrong to bring life into a world like this and to be incapable or unwilling of recognizing its downsides like we're supposed to our own and based on them to make better decisions. To have more empathy for life. And to understand its ultimate uselessness.

If rightfully criticizing life and nature is unhealthy, then how do you get to judge the situations you're in? Do you just hope you won't die?

I refuse to lie.

 

[velociraptor]

I really don't understand nor have the patience for people judging my way of describing life as unhappiness.

The nice thing about being me is that I am not overly concerned with the opinions of others. Leaves more time for my hobbies. BTW, I hope I won't die, but I know I will at some point. I am spending the time I have left enjoying myself rather than worrying in circles to no effect.

 

[All-Rounder]

The nice thing about being me is that I am not overly concerned with the opinions of others. Leaves more time for my hobbies. BTW, I hope I won't die, but I know I will at some point. I am spending the time I have left enjoying myself rather than worrying in circles to no effect.

The ugliest thing about being me is that I'm human, and I live on Earth. Excessive and toxic amounts of optimism make life depressing. This obsession with gratitude at every given moment is destroying the best hobbies out there and the most unique ways of having an open mind.

Up to what point should I, according to your beliefs, be hoping that I won't die? I don't wanna think like this, it seems like false, deception. I wanna be able to think, talk and read about death. Some people are fired up with working daily with death. The only reason why I am no longer afraid of death is because I got accustomed and learned about death. I have the certainty I will die, and it helps me every day to think about it. I have the knowledge of how we die, I'm not afraid especially because it's the end of life.

It's not me I'm so worried about, it's people judging these things for no good reason. They can be as positive as any other thing.

Again I don't expect you to know me because we just met but I have many hobbies, and some may be hard to understand. I'm easy to please from a hobby perspective so I have a lot of things I enjoy very much. I'm a very excited person even though I'm getting through a nasty breakup and losing massive amounts of friends. Hopefully the third time I'm clear. My life being saturated with all kinds of hobbies I don't like to harp about hobbies especially when I feel like I'm being compared or pushed into a hobby competition. I can compete but I find it unjust and silly. Especially when you thought my state needed taken care of, but it's not the case. No matter how much happiness, there will always (more often than not) be situations where the downsides of Earth are far prominent to the benefit, and where there is no sense in things. I love antinatalism as a philosophy because it's very real and I have thought those things before I knew it had a name.

I absolutely admire his views Benatar's asymmetry argument - Wikipedia and he has some additional more in depth views about life on Earth.

 

[velociraptor]

Excessive and toxic amounts of optimism make life depressing. This obsession with gratitude at every given moment is destroying the best hobbies out there and the most unique ways of having an open mind.

I'm not an optimistic person, I'm a realist. I'm also someone who chooses not to expend energy fussing over things I have no control over. I have a really bad heart and I could die tomorrow. I can maybe last another decade, but it's doubtful. So I get out and live as much as I can each day. And, yes, I'm grateful for each additional day I get with my wife and daughter and to go out and have good experiences and make my art. Nothing wrong with being thankful. Beats the pants off of being bitter.

 

[All-Rounder]

I'm not an optimistic person, I'm a realist. I'm also someone who chooses not to expend energy fussing over things I have no control over. I have a really bad heart and I could die tomorrow. I can maybe last another decade, but it's doubtful. So I get out and live as much as I can each day. And, yes, I'm grateful for each additional day I get with my wife and daughter and to go out and have good experiences and make my art. Nothing wrong with being thankful. Beats the pants off of being bitter.

I get you but I never miss a day going outside. I apologize about being mean to you, your suggestions and judgements triggered me, you were just looking out for my health. However I find it a bit inappropriate and it's my own responsibility. Ive been preaching that for a long time now, it's a really easy way to stimulate the brain and decrease screen time, and change the ruminating reasons and amount, if you get too used to the streets you get too familiar and may copy home habits. It doesn't beat the pants off being a realist, antinatalist and a satanist, though, and it's an entirely different area of life, it's not philosophy. Each has it's purpose.

However I am going out more than once but I used to go more, and less, I live on the 4th floor and have 4 knee problems, I was told by my doctor I'm not allowed to even do physiotherapy. I am letdown how everything that does with health requires exercise or movement, as it harms me. So I have to be creative with my relaxation techniques because I do need them to decrease every day stress, bullying, threats and insults for being on the spectrum when I do get outside. But that will never change my desire to involve myself in my philosophies and think on a deep level about what I'm interested in.