LonelyDurdle
Digital Autist
Hi! I'm brand new here, and I want to stick around, and hope I do... but I have the memory of Dory--that is to say, a bad one. I think it is executive functioning related. I feel like I only have room in my brain for one thing at a time. So if I get involved in a project with my special interest, or I have a lot of life stuff happen, there's a chance I may just disappear from here. Sorry in advance if that happens!
Now, about me:
I'm 32 years old, and was just diagnosed this January. I spent most of my life thinking I was just lazy and slow, and a terrible procrastinator. Nah, it turns out I have ADHD-PI, and ASD. Once I was out on my own, in college and grad school, life and school work suddenly got really freaking hard. In grad school I finally went to talk to my family doctor about my inability to focus on my schoolwork, even though I was studying something that (I now know) is a special interest, something I love. He was the one who diagnosed me with the ADHD-PI. He put me on Adderall, and it helped immensely as far as being alert and able to focus... I thought I finally knew what had been causing me to struggle my whole life. HA! Wrong.
Fast forward to me having my daughter. When she was around 15 months old she lost the few words she had been saying previously (hi, bye, that sort of thing). She lined up her chicken nuggets. She never made eye contact, and wouldn't look when anyone called her name. When she was about two and a half, she was diagnosed with classic autism. (She's almost 6 now, still non-verbal). When I was doing the mom thing and researching the hell out of autism, especially autism in girls, I started noticing something weird. Nearly all of the traits of women with autism that were described were traits that I had. Seriously, I felt like I was reading about myself. At that time I self-diagnosed, as I didn't think getting a professional diagnosis would do anything but provide validation.
Then I realized that almost all the work-related problems I've had, past and present, are caused by my autism. As I mentioned before, my memory is ****, and my executive functioning skills are naught. After several years of worrying that I'd be fired because I'm late to work so often, that I work too slowly, and get extremely distracted very easily, I decided that I should get a diagnosis, if only to be covered under the ADA, and hopefully help prevent me from losing my job.
Anyway, I got my diagnosis, and here I am. I've learned a lot about myself since then. I'm still employed, although I'm finally realizing I don't like my job, and I wish I could make a huge career switch. I want to write books for a living, as well as sell my digital art as prints and whatnot. But by the time I get home from work, I'm mentally drained from having to people all day. (I work in a high school library). Plus, I mentioned my autistic daughter--I love her dearly, but she requires a lot of energy to keep up with, and most days I end up feeling like a wrung-out dishrag after I finally get her to bed. It is difficult to work on my art and writing, because I'm just so drained once I finally have the chance. And writing and art are two careers that require the author/artist to lovingly create the work for free, and then just hope they can get it published or sell it. There's no guarantee. Which sucks.
Well, there is a lot more about me that I could share, but I'm probably boring you! Feel free to ask me anything, or drop me a message. I may forget about this account by next Thursday, but I hope I won't.
Now, about me:
I'm 32 years old, and was just diagnosed this January. I spent most of my life thinking I was just lazy and slow, and a terrible procrastinator. Nah, it turns out I have ADHD-PI, and ASD. Once I was out on my own, in college and grad school, life and school work suddenly got really freaking hard. In grad school I finally went to talk to my family doctor about my inability to focus on my schoolwork, even though I was studying something that (I now know) is a special interest, something I love. He was the one who diagnosed me with the ADHD-PI. He put me on Adderall, and it helped immensely as far as being alert and able to focus... I thought I finally knew what had been causing me to struggle my whole life. HA! Wrong.
Fast forward to me having my daughter. When she was around 15 months old she lost the few words she had been saying previously (hi, bye, that sort of thing). She lined up her chicken nuggets. She never made eye contact, and wouldn't look when anyone called her name. When she was about two and a half, she was diagnosed with classic autism. (She's almost 6 now, still non-verbal). When I was doing the mom thing and researching the hell out of autism, especially autism in girls, I started noticing something weird. Nearly all of the traits of women with autism that were described were traits that I had. Seriously, I felt like I was reading about myself. At that time I self-diagnosed, as I didn't think getting a professional diagnosis would do anything but provide validation.
Then I realized that almost all the work-related problems I've had, past and present, are caused by my autism. As I mentioned before, my memory is ****, and my executive functioning skills are naught. After several years of worrying that I'd be fired because I'm late to work so often, that I work too slowly, and get extremely distracted very easily, I decided that I should get a diagnosis, if only to be covered under the ADA, and hopefully help prevent me from losing my job.
Anyway, I got my diagnosis, and here I am. I've learned a lot about myself since then. I'm still employed, although I'm finally realizing I don't like my job, and I wish I could make a huge career switch. I want to write books for a living, as well as sell my digital art as prints and whatnot. But by the time I get home from work, I'm mentally drained from having to people all day. (I work in a high school library). Plus, I mentioned my autistic daughter--I love her dearly, but she requires a lot of energy to keep up with, and most days I end up feeling like a wrung-out dishrag after I finally get her to bed. It is difficult to work on my art and writing, because I'm just so drained once I finally have the chance. And writing and art are two careers that require the author/artist to lovingly create the work for free, and then just hope they can get it published or sell it. There's no guarantee. Which sucks.
Well, there is a lot more about me that I could share, but I'm probably boring you! Feel free to ask me anything, or drop me a message. I may forget about this account by next Thursday, but I hope I won't.
