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I'm in love with someone famous. What can I do to get over it?

A

Adam Hakeemi

Active Member
I'm 15 turning 16 in April, and I'm in love with a celebrity. I think she is absolutely beautiful and feel like we have a lot in common. I'm fully aware that chances of me ending up with her are slim to none, so I want to get over it. I've been trying super hard to do so but no success. What do you guys think I should do?
 
I think what you have is a crush not love on a celebrity,I have had big crushes on certain male celebrities in the past but I knew it was just a crush not love,it’s good that you realise that nothing can come of this but maybe focus more on other things besides this infatuation like some hobbies or other interests,I know it’s not easy but you can’t get yourself rounded up about never being with this celebrity because without sounding too blunt it’s not going to happen and you will more likely find someone in real life that is ideal for you so please don’t stress yourself out about it.
 
Adora said:
I think what you have is a crush not love on a celebrity,I have had big crushes on certain male celebrities in the past but I knew it was just a crush not love,it’s good that you realise that nothing can come of this but maybe focus more on other things besides this infatuation like some hobbies or other interests,I know it’s not easy but you can’t get yourself rounded up about never being with this celebrity because without sounding too blunt it’s not going to happen and you will more likely find someone in real life that is ideal for you so please don’t stress yourself out about it.
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I try to distract myself, but it seems that everything I do at the moment is for her. She has had such a big impact in my life. This might sound crazy, but she has taught me to love and tolerate others, to be polite and kind, and to work hard and set realistic goals (in the near future at least). Part of me knows we can't be together and another part would just die if we were apart. I really don't know what to do at this point.
 
You are apart and yet you are not dead so it seems this is a state you can survive. You cannot really know this person well enough for love although you can certainly have very strong feelings and I am not going to try to diminish your feelings. An obsessive crush is not the same thing as love. As long as you can still function in areas of your life where you need to and there is no danger you will begin to stalk this person, perhaps you can use your feelings in a different way. Maybe you can consider her your mentor or role model or spirit guide, however you might envision that. When you say everything you do is for her, what do you mean? You don't eat breakfast for her or complete school work for her.
 
You should get posters of her, put pictures of her on your phone, fantasize and dream about her, commit inappropriate thoughts with her in mind, write stories involving her that are probably inappropriate stories, draw pictures of her, watch videos of her, if she's a singer listen to her and if not partake in whatever it is she's famous for, stare at her picture and sigh...it'll be fun!

At least, that's what I did, and I was about the same age you are. Eventually, it just faded. Teenagerism comes with powerful emotions.
 
Nothing wrong with having an attraction for someone famous. Just remember that the actual person is not the person you have fallen for. You've fallen for the idea of what you think is the perfect person for you. It's fine to do that, but remember that in real life no one will meet all those expectations. So you just need to be able to keep your dream 'love' separate from your reality.
 
Let me add to what @Fino said. When you're doing chores, pretend she is helping you. Pretend she is with you and carry on conversations with her in your head. I actually used to do that - especially when I was working or doing things I didn't like doing and it made it more tolerable. And the person I used to pretend to have next to me no longer was living, but in my mind he was alive and perfect and helped me get through hours of sewing at a factory. :)
 
In my era it was called; Puppy love, an intense and romantic attachment associated with adolescence. Back then it was John Lennon of the Beatles. Memorized the words to all the songs, could sing them and play a few notes on a guitar, had pictures of him that I used to look at.

Eventually that feeling of adoration waned, when I met boys and developed friendships with them. Yet when John Lennon was killed, I was sad for a long time. It was as if I had lost a piece from my own personal history.
 
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Mia said:
In my era it was called; Puppy love, an intense and romantic attachment associated with adolescence. Back then it was John Lennon of the Beatles. Memorized the words to all the songs, could sing them and play a few notes on a guitar, had pictures of him that I used to look at.

Eventually that feeling of adoration waned, when I met boys and developed friendships with them. Yet when John Lennon was killed, I was sad for a long time. It was as if I had lost part of my own personal history.
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I liked George.
 
I still get crushes. Right now I’ve got such a crush on Jeffrey Toobin! OMG, he is so smart and I like his deep voice and curly brown hair! Lol.
But I don’t think about him unless he is on the tv.
But I’ll even stop playing Candy Crush to watch him, that’s serious!
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My Aspie Crush, so adorable!
 
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Oldlady said:
I can sew a sail if I have to, but spying takes way too much deception and subterfuge. I'm afraid I'm a bit of an open book.

Are you clueless in other countries as well?
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That would be difficult to say as I rarely leave my country. I did have to ask what a corn dog is when on a trip to the US so I guess I am clueless in other countries. :)
 
We all have them, I have a couple now; One's on a news anchor and the other's on a game show model. Nothing wrong with it, just realize (As you have) you'll probably never meet them and respect their boundaries. In this age of social media we're closer to celebs than ever before. Both these girls have instagram and twitter accounts that I follow them both on. I've interacted with them as well through those avenues but I've always been pretty respectful towards them both.
 
I've always viewed celebrities as the popular kids in school and made a concerted effort not to crush on them. It feels too much like following the crowd and sycophancy.
 
Well this all sounds familiar. I don't know if it helps to say I was that way until I was about 20 or so. I'm talking full on delusional obsession believing I would find a way to make it happen someday. I didn't even think I was delusional (hence delusion). Its odd now, nearly 35, looking back at myself... the picture shrines on the wall and all. I want to go back then and smack myself upside the head. "Bro!"

What changed? Well, I ACTUALLY fell in love when I was 21 to my eventual wife (we are separated to be divorced now, but that is neither here nor there and another story).

I couldn't give you advice other than.. enjoy it for what it is, regularly remind yourself its a CRUSH and not LOVE, and don't block yourself from any opportunities with girls in your actual life. Real love will be the thing that teaches you that what you're experiencing, as insanely intense as it feels, isn't love, but an intense crush.

And know you're not alone.
 
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