I'm an idiot with money. Is this an Aspie thing?

[Fade2black]

Is anyone else compulsive with money? I just dropped more than 20k on something I don’t really want, don’t need and knowing resale is difficult and worth half of purchase. And, this is at a time when I need the money.

The only thing that felt good was the seller making me feel important while I was inquiring, considering and paying. Guessing the seller was good enough to know I was an easy target.

I’ve tend to do this every couple of years and I believe it’s either from trying to run away from myself… to do something really big hoping it will change my life or who I am. Or, just a masochistic move.

Ironically, I am a serious penny pincher and live frugally by choice. Except for the times I’ve done this. Now I have strong regrets and I’m a whole lot more broke.

Aspie thing or something else?

 

[Onna]

I’m personally very responsible with money. I can’t stand the thought of wasting it, so I take a long time deciding whether to buy something, sometimes to the point that I don’t even care about the product anymore. Though having said that, I have previously felt pressured by someone and made a big purchase for them.
Is it possible to cancel your purchase? Perhaps let them know you’re on the spectrum?

 

[Onna]

Oh and happy birthday

 

[Judge]

I’ve tend to do this every couple of years and I believe it’s either from trying to run away from myself… to do something really big hoping it will change my life or who I am. Or, just a masochistic move.

Ironically, I am a serious penny pincher and live frugally by choice. Except for the times I’ve done this. Now I have strong regrets and I’m a whole lot more broke.

Given how you describe yourself "in the long run" I'm thinking that perhaps you're just being a little too critical of yourself in the short run. Your dismay and regret over a spontaneous "big ticket" purchase clearly reflects this. Nobody is perfect.

I'm very good at handling my personal finances to a point where I research and hem and haw over the possibility of buying something where in many cases I simply take all the fun out of the process. While it's rare for me to make a bad purchase, I can't cover all my bases every single time. And yes, on those rare occasions I second guess and beat myself up over a such a purchase that goes wrong in some way.

At least you try to manage your money. So many out there don't have a clue and spend everything they have with frightening regularity. It could be worse. Hang in there...and happy birthday.

Do I think such considerations of being a good or bad consumer or making a spontaneous purchase reflect autistic traits and behaviors? No, not in my opinion. Executive functioning deficits could impact one's inability to manage their own assets, but then the same could be said for NTs as well.

 

[Pats]

Happy birthday - and you must be very frugal to have 20k saved up to begin with. I think we can be easy targets because it's hard to say no and it's hard to get ourselves away from someone persistent.

 

[Progster]

I'm very meticulous with money and never spend more than I can really afford. I factor one or two small impulse buys into the budget and am careful not to go over - if I spend less than the allocated amount, it counts towards the amount available for the next month.

 

[Fino]

I've been considering making a similar thread! It's not quite the same for me, maybe just because I've never had that much money, but I have to be careful not to carry cash because if someone asks for money, I have trouble not just handing it all to them. I feel like people have such an attachment to the stuff and I feel nothing in response to it.

I've only ever lived on my own for a year and I did fine financially so maybe when it's necessary my behavior automatically improves, but it seems whatever money I have available is spent or given quickly.

If it's not related to ASD, I still have ADHD and BPD left to blame. Which should I pick?

 

[Isadoorian]

It's not just an aspie thing; even NTs can do terribly with money management/budgeting

 

[Moomin]

I’m very careful with my money. Not Scrooge careful, but I’m frugal. I do make allowances for frivolous things but as I don’t like to spend money, and don’t go out socializing those moments are rare .

 

[Graphin]

Sounds like the seller has emotionally manipulated you, I'm not sure but that sounds not aspie

 

[Tom]

Well they do say one is born every day.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I'm extremely careful with money, more so than is normal I think. Sounds like you have a problem with impulse control, but no idea if that can be an autism thing. It's certainly not a problem I have.

 

[FreeDiver]

Some people think this is a joke but I'm dead serious about this. First of all, money can not(I repeat "CAN NOT") buy happiness, it can only rent it. If you don't get what I mean by this, then let me give you this analogy to describe it. Think of it like buying a stick of gum, you buy it, you own it and you can chew on it for as long as you want. But the flavor only last for a brief amount of time before it's gone. Think of the happiness of your purchase like the flavor in the gum. It has a time limit to it, thus, you are only renting it, not buying it.

 

[Fino]

Some people think this is a joke but I'm dead serious about this. First of all, money can not(I repeat "CAN NOT") buy happiness, it can only rent it. If you don't get what I mean by this, then let me give you this analogy to describe it. Think of it like buying a stick of gum, you buy it, you own it and you can chew on it for as long as you want. But the flavor only last for a brief amount of time before it's gone. Think of the happiness of your purchase like the flavor in the gum. It has a time limit to it, thus, you are only renting it, not buying it.

That seems to be equating happiness with pleasure.

 

[Catalyst]

Can you return it to get your money back?

I tend to spend quite often, but it's more of a bipolar thing than anything else. When I'm hypomanic I spend even more than usual. And it's just this compulsion or obsession.

 

[TempeFan]

Aspie thing or something else?

Something else entirely, perhaps a comorbidity disorder.

Salespeople would starve if they had to rely on targeting Aspies with their high pressure sales pitches for a living. There's so few of us, even fewer who have that much money to waste or who would be interested in impressing others by buying high ticket items.

 

[tducey]

I can be. I have 50 books in my room that I've bought and have yet to read. I have many hats that I don't wear. I do keep a budget that I try to stick to but it gets tough from time to time.

 

[hiraeth]

I don't struggle with impulse control, but I have agonised long and hard over having an uncommon relationship with money, which many people around me would likely characterise as "idiotic", yes. I happen to consciously and actively disagree with them, but I've come to appreciate more over time where they are coming from.

 

[Adora]

I am responsible with money,if there is a bill to pay like rent or electricity I will pay that first before anything else,I will never spend money meant for rent on other things but if I do have anything left over I will splurge on stuff I like without going over the top,I am more cautious these days due to growing up in a household where the rent money was either dwindled away on alcohol or poker machines and it did lead to us getting evicted from numerous of homes and because of this I have a huge fear of homelessness and will have an anxiety attack if I can’t pay rent on time even though I am very rarely if ever late.

 

[Misery]

"Compulsive" isnt a strong enough word in my case.

Think of like, a big cannon, right, and it's full of money because clearly that's how cannons work.

Now you take that, and you just fire it at anything. The house across the street, a passing car, some bird or something, or just knock over some idiot walking by. Maybe shoot some rocks and a tree. You're just firing at whatever.

That tends to be how I spend. Particularly when it comes to my hobbies. Like gaming. "I've been bored for 10 minutes" is enough to get me to go buy a new one. The fact that I bought three the previous day wont matter. I gotta get whatever it is before I forget it exists. Same with other hobbies.