Im an affectionate aspie!

[AspieOtaku]

I an affectionate aspie, its rare but i learned to love hugs and cuddles once i was a child and a psychiatrist taught me to hug i now like hugging, i used to not be affectionate either but once i was taught affection is ok, when i dated i was affectionate, but sonetimes with nts over affectionate, i get clingy, i smother em with too much affection and im sad and alone, its a confusing cycle.I still get jumpy with strangers touching me but if its someone i know im ok and ok with hugs. I understand others may be uncomfy with affection like hugs i used to be but i like em now after getting help from a psycyatrist.

 

[onlything]

I find myself jumping between extremes - it depends on the person. For some, it seems I always have affection reserved. For others, I'm affectionate but distanced. For the rest, I'm friendly but cold or just indifferent and cold. It seems to depend on the level of trust between me and another person. As you, I like hugs from specific people, I like cuddling and sitting together - but it gets stifling sooner or later and I need a way out or I get 'wild' as it was once nicely put.

I'm not surprised that you can be so affectionate - it's called a spectrum for a reason. Some people crave it, some can't stand it. That's completely natural.

 

[Raphael Outcast]

I find myself jumping between extremes - it depends on the person.

Very much agree. Sometimes described as touchy-feely & demonstrative, sometimes as cold & distant & aloof. More usually the latter. Depends on the person. Think I'm probably demisexual, or demiromantic, or something along those lines.

Didn't learn how to enjoy intimate kinds of touching properly until my then girlfriend rolled a joint & got me stoned before taking me to bed. Some kind of sensory overload thing about all the touching plus all the other stuff happening, in that context? Viagra never worked, yet cannabis did!

n.b. That is not necessarily an endorsement or recommendation of an illegal substance, I hasten to add; just one person's genuine experience...

 

[onlything]

Very much agree. Sometimes described as touchy-feely & demonstrative, sometimes as cold & distant & aloof. More usually the latter. Depends on the person. Think I'm probably demisexual, or demiromantic, or something along those lines.

That definitely sounds familiar. People always try to rush in relationships, both romantically and sexually, but I just don't feel much until I get to know the person well. In fact, the less I know the person, the less I want to see them.

 

[Bolletje]

I’m affectionate with people I know or people that need comforting. I just don’t like being touched by strangers, unless I’m flirting with said stranger.

 

[Raphael Outcast]

Wow! You know how to flirt? And you can think fast enough to keep up with the whole complex business of flirting? I envy you!

I was about to say I wouldn't want to flirt with a stranger anyway, because I usually have to know someone quite well before I decide I might like to get into any of that, but just occasionally I do feel a strong electric buzz from someone I haven't previously met. Similarly, sometimes I feel the urge to be touchy-feely, in a non-flirtatious way, with someone I haven't previously met. A bit like some cats are extremely choosy about which visitors they will express eager interest in and which visitors they will be pathologically wary of.

I can't even force myself to be affectionate to someone that clearly needs comforting, if it's someone I don't feel I want to be touchy-feely with.

 

[SimplyWandering]

I think a lot of us are very much like the Common House Cat. We like affection at times, but some times just want to turn off and be left the hell alone.

“You see these claws , John???!!! They are coming for you!!!! - Freddie the Cat, after being annoyed too much by pet owner.

 

[Rasputin]

Very much agree. Sometimes described as touchy-feely & demonstrative, sometimes as cold & distant & aloof. More usually the latter. Depends on the person. Think I'm probably demisexual, or demiromantic, or something along those lines.

Didn't learn how to enjoy intimate kinds of touching properly until my then girlfriend rolled a joint & got me stoned before taking me to bed. Some kind of sensory overload thing about all the touching plus all the other stuff happening, in that context? Viagra never worked, yet cannabis did!

n.b. That is not necessarily an endorsement or recommendation of an illegal substance, I hasten to add; just one person's genuine experience...

Raphael Ourcast, sounds like you and I have had similar experiences. My wife’s family is very affectionate with their hugging and kissing, and it just makes me uncomfortable. It wasn’t something I experienced growing up, and I can’t get used to it.

 

[Aspychata]

I think a lot of us are very much like the Common House Cat. We like affection at times, but some times just want to turn off and be left the hell alone.

I use to have a cat who had been abused and reacted to anything red, red shirts, red vehicles, red balloons. It would trigger him. If he wanted your attention, he would sprawl belly up across the hallway so that you had to give him attention to pass by. A cat toll hall,you wish to move past, then pony up a cat belly scratch.

“You see these claws , John???!!! They are coming for you!!!! - Freddie the Cat, after being annoyed too much by pet owner.

 

[AspieOtaku]

I think a lot of us are very much like the Common House Cat. We like affection at times, but some times just want to turn off and be left the hell alone.

“You see these claws , John???!!! They are coming for you!!!! - Freddie the Cat, after being annoyed too much by pet owner.

Im just like a cat, a big fluffy affectionate tom cat, meow.

 

[Misery]

I'm fine with animals. Big hugs for the dog, all the physical contact he could want (and he wants all of it, constantly).

But other people... ye gods, no. Stay away from me. I find it hard to understand the appeal of that one at all.

 

[AspieOtaku]

If i was a cat, id be a big fluffy maine coon, id have big claws but am gentle and purr alot and probably shed hair everywhere lol. Id be the big alpha cat on the block but gentle to my owners.

 

[BrokenBoy]

I'm very cold in general and like hurting people, but sometimes I fantasize about being affectionate towards people I care about.

 

[AspieOtaku]

 

[AspieOtaku]

When im romantic, i feel, i feel deep, i grow attatchment and get affectionate, i feel and express once i do open up, so many emotions come out and i get very affectionate, when im not with someone im kinda emotionless it seems, its not fully true i just hold em all in so they dont get out of control, at first i might be cold and calculating but when with someone im as warm as can be.

 

[AspieOtaku]

I'm very cold in general and like hurting people, but sometimes I fantasize about being affectionate towards people I care about.

i dont like hurting people but others like hurting me and i get scared and hold my feelings in untill i find someone i feel safe with to love and when i do i open up alot, my emotions get outta control, i cry, i laugh, i show intense affection because i really love her.

 

[paloftoon]

If you aren't sure, ask in-person directly beforehand. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Just be like "Can I give you a hug?". That's the best thing to do if it's hard to read the person or go by context.