SOCIETY333
New Member
Im 18 and my only friend is my stuffed animal named Jeff, I wanna kill myself. I have no one and im always bullied.
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Im a loser
- Thread starter SOCIETY333
- Start date
I'm here for you.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK
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Hang in there Society. Call the number Nitro gave you, OK?
It hasnt got better for me Im permanently frightened of what someone will say to me I wish Id never been born
Been there done that (incl at youre age ) both been Bullied frozend out regarded and treated like an idiot pretty mush all my life more or less and trust me thats NOT will NOT ever be the right way to take TRUST me on this im have been suicidal since i was little and now recently diagnosed or shall we say up graded to Severly sucidal due to some BS going on in my life YET as you can see im still here so it CAN be done (ie staying alive )
If you want to talk my pm is right there for you youre NOT alone any more
I have to agree with you there Streetwise i so wish i could have died at birth instead of having to be born with all this flipping diagnosis and problems
BUT i did and what more can we do then to try to do the best we can with what we got to work with in life ? Just giving up is not the anwer i can tell you all this from vast expeince
If you want to talk my pm is right there for you youre NOT alone any more
I have to agree with you there Streetwise i so wish i could have died at birth instead of having to be born with all this flipping diagnosis and problems
BUT i did and what more can we do then to try to do the best we can with what we got to work with in life ? Just giving up is not the anwer i can tell you all this from vast expeince
Sarah, I literally should have never been born, or not survived my first few days of life. I had only one normal lung at birth and I had a deformed umbilical cord so I didn't get the right nutrients in the womb, and even worse my mom ate a lot of junk food during pregnancy.
An hour after I was born my mom was wheeled up to a viewing mirror and then the nurse wheeled up an incubator, and inside was a tiny, emaciated baby boy who was the color of a bruise from lack of oxygen. I had a lot of medical tubes connected to me. My mom knocked on the mirror and I looked at the sound, and she said I had beautiful eyes and she prayed for me to live.
I went home at age 5 days and then was rushed back at 10 days because I couldn't hold milk down and almost died of starvation. Mom said that the tests were so invasive that I screamed horribly for hours on end. The pediatrician didn't think I would live, and my family lived in a small country town so he was the only pediatrician.
I always wondered if I lived just so I could be a source of constant amusement for sociopaths. I constantly live in fear of being attacked/murdered for something I might do unintentionally, it has happened (attack, not murder obviously) several times and my dad always said that one day I would be killed like a rabid dog because I was such a horrible person.
He talked about abandoning me in a remote area and telling the cops I ran away and how his life would get better afterwards. This was in the 80s when if a kid went missing the cops would just say "pffft, he ran away, he'll be back in a week" and shoo away the family.
I mostly stay inside because the risk of death is just too great. When I finally move to Jefferson I will be able to go days and days without seeing another person, which will be wonderful.
========
OP seems not to have come back, maybe just an attempt at trolling.
An hour after I was born my mom was wheeled up to a viewing mirror and then the nurse wheeled up an incubator, and inside was a tiny, emaciated baby boy who was the color of a bruise from lack of oxygen. I had a lot of medical tubes connected to me. My mom knocked on the mirror and I looked at the sound, and she said I had beautiful eyes and she prayed for me to live.
I went home at age 5 days and then was rushed back at 10 days because I couldn't hold milk down and almost died of starvation. Mom said that the tests were so invasive that I screamed horribly for hours on end. The pediatrician didn't think I would live, and my family lived in a small country town so he was the only pediatrician.
I always wondered if I lived just so I could be a source of constant amusement for sociopaths. I constantly live in fear of being attacked/murdered for something I might do unintentionally, it has happened (attack, not murder obviously) several times and my dad always said that one day I would be killed like a rabid dog because I was such a horrible person.
He talked about abandoning me in a remote area and telling the cops I ran away and how his life would get better afterwards. This was in the 80s when if a kid went missing the cops would just say "pffft, he ran away, he'll be back in a week" and shoo away the family.
I mostly stay inside because the risk of death is just too great. When I finally move to Jefferson I will be able to go days and days without seeing another person, which will be wonderful.
========
OP seems not to have come back, maybe just an attempt at trolling.
="oregano, post: 645109, member: 12904"]
Sarah, I literally should have never been born, or not survived my first few days of life. I had only one normal lung at birth and I had a deformed umbilical cord so I didn't get the right nutrients in the womb, and even worse my mom ate a lot of junk food during pregnancy.
" Me i got stuck for more then 5 minutes and few minuets more i would probably be even more severe and even worse diagnosis if even survived "
An hour after I was born my mom was wheeled up to a viewing mirror and then the nurse wheeled up an incubator, and inside was a tiny, emaciated baby boy who was the color of a bruise from lack of oxygen. I had a lot of medical tubes connected to me. My mom knocked on the mirror and I looked at the sound, and she said I had beautiful eyes and she prayed for me to live.
I went home at age 5 days and then was rushed back at 10 days because I couldn't hold milk down and almost died of starvation. Mom said that the tests were so invasive that I screamed horribly for hours on end. The pediatrician didn't think I would live, and my family lived in a small country town so he was the only pediatrician.
" Me i dident leave the hospital until i was 3 (lip and cleft pallet) strapped to bed with my arms fixated so i couldn't touch my face or anything and some cind of contraption all over my head to keep it all together.
BUT this isent a competition and i happily admit you were WAY worse of then me "
I always wondered if I lived just so I could be a source of constant amusement for sociopaths. I constantly live in fear of being attacked/murdered for something I might do unintentionally, it has happened (attack, not murder obviously) several times and my dad always said that one day I would be killed like a rabid dog because I was such a horrible person.
" Thats terrible "
He talked about abandoning me in a remote area and telling the cops I ran away and how his life would get better afterwards. This was in the 80s when if a kid went missing the cops would just say "pffft, he ran away, he'll be back in a week" and shoo away the family.
I mostly stay inside because the risk of death is just too great. When I finally move to Jefferson I will be able to go days and days without seeing another person, which will be wonderful.
Im so terribly sorry . If thats what you whant im happy for you
========
OP seems not to have come back, maybe just an attempt at trolling.
" Time will tell "
Sarah, I literally should have never been born, or not survived my first few days of life. I had only one normal lung at birth and I had a deformed umbilical cord so I didn't get the right nutrients in the womb, and even worse my mom ate a lot of junk food during pregnancy.
" Me i got stuck for more then 5 minutes and few minuets more i would probably be even more severe and even worse diagnosis if even survived "
An hour after I was born my mom was wheeled up to a viewing mirror and then the nurse wheeled up an incubator, and inside was a tiny, emaciated baby boy who was the color of a bruise from lack of oxygen. I had a lot of medical tubes connected to me. My mom knocked on the mirror and I looked at the sound, and she said I had beautiful eyes and she prayed for me to live.
I went home at age 5 days and then was rushed back at 10 days because I couldn't hold milk down and almost died of starvation. Mom said that the tests were so invasive that I screamed horribly for hours on end. The pediatrician didn't think I would live, and my family lived in a small country town so he was the only pediatrician.
" Me i dident leave the hospital until i was 3 (lip and cleft pallet) strapped to bed with my arms fixated so i couldn't touch my face or anything and some cind of contraption all over my head to keep it all together.
BUT this isent a competition and i happily admit you were WAY worse of then me "
I always wondered if I lived just so I could be a source of constant amusement for sociopaths. I constantly live in fear of being attacked/murdered for something I might do unintentionally, it has happened (attack, not murder obviously) several times and my dad always said that one day I would be killed like a rabid dog because I was such a horrible person.
" Thats terrible "
He talked about abandoning me in a remote area and telling the cops I ran away and how his life would get better afterwards. This was in the 80s when if a kid went missing the cops would just say "pffft, he ran away, he'll be back in a week" and shoo away the family.
I mostly stay inside because the risk of death is just too great. When I finally move to Jefferson I will be able to go days and days without seeing another person, which will be wonderful.
Im so terribly sorry . If thats what you whant im happy for you
========
OP seems not to have come back, maybe just an attempt at trolling.
" Time will tell "
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I am so sorry Oregano that you have had such a tough beginning in life.
it says in his (SOCIETY333) that he has classic autism diagnosed (ASD 3 ,used to be called kanners ( Austrian -American doctor Leo Kanner)Autism),I’ve felt the way he does ,he’s desperate, if you go to the members online ,Section click on that ,it shows you whoever and whatever is looking at whatever on the forum in the last couple of minutes ,there are tons of people lurking (lurar? in Swedish ) Robots from different search engines operating ,what members are looking at , doing , and it might as well be a trait of autism depression, anxiety .
go to suicide.org see what you think of the site
I hope there comes a time when kids have more protection from their parents, like you should have had. Stories like yours disgust me so deeply. My parents were neglectful, and it basically ruined my life (autistic kids need supportive, caring parents like we need air, or we’re going to grow up with major problems). I feel sad for you and for the guy who started this thread. So much human-caused suffering in the world...
@Kalinychta, IMO it would be better if people who would be horrible parents were somehow prevented from reproducing at all. There are some VERY evil people out there doing terrifying things to kids that the kids will NEVER recover from, deliberate destruction of bodies and brains with permanent damage. I wish that we could license childbearing like we do driving a car or owning a gun, America has more stringent gun laws than child laws! Cases of parents lobotomizing their kids with massive amounts of psychotropic drugs, of insisting on multiple brain surgeries to turn their kids from happy normal rambunctious kids to zombies with feeding tubes in their noses because they no longer know how to eat.
I forgot to mention that I hardly post online anymore because I am afraid somebody will come after me and kill me. There are numerous cases of people being physically attacked by people who went nuts over an innocent comment online. There is "SWATting" where somebody will call 911 in the target's city and force a massive police response, and often the target ends up dead, killed by some weirdo online who uses police to do the deed. I mainly participate here, and I use the internet for news and occasionally to buy something I need. Other than that, I mainly stay at home, alone, with the computer and the lights off.
I forgot to mention that I hardly post online anymore because I am afraid somebody will come after me and kill me. There are numerous cases of people being physically attacked by people who went nuts over an innocent comment online. There is "SWATting" where somebody will call 911 in the target's city and force a massive police response, and often the target ends up dead, killed by some weirdo online who uses police to do the deed. I mainly participate here, and I use the internet for news and occasionally to buy something I need. Other than that, I mainly stay at home, alone, with the computer and the lights off.
I don’t think you need to worry about getting whacked or anyone putting a contract out on you based on nothing more than anonymous posts. People post some extreme material and absolutely nothing happens to them, not here of course! It sounds like you have some extreme paranoia based on what you wrote.
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