I'll never be what my parents want me to be.

[Iamnotarabot]

Ok so this semester I tried to go back at unni...
Ofc it was a failure, I cant stand goiing all day there , and I am unable to connect with anyone, I gave up a lots of classes already and now I have to go to some of them at least to not get a failing grade....

I deleted my old Wow account but I created another one again and I play from scratch, its actually the only thing that make me feel happy.

This feeling that I wont get anything positive from the real world is realy strong and I dont know how to change that at all...at least I need to graduate...

 

[Sarah S]

First of all what your parents want you to be don't mean DIDDLY it's what YOU want to be that counts

Second DON'T give up hon KEEP trying (believe i know how you feel i felt/Feel the same )

 

[Mia]

You can always go back and keep trying and not give up. I went back to school several times. And each time I could cope better. I started with night classes a few at a time, as I was working as well. Eventually by the third year, I was able to go full time. It took me longer than most students to finish. You can do this in your time, not on someone else's clock.

It does not go smoothly the first time, like you think it will. At first when full time, I took on too large a course load. Then I pared it down, as it seemed to take me longer than other students. The difference was that I wanted to understand, not memorize and repeat on exams or papers. Without comprehension I couldn't remember very well. Needed to be able to learn differently, and it took longer.

I don't think you should look as this as a failure, you've taken some courses and you will pass them. I remember my anxiety, my stress, my inability to sleep during that era of my life. Now that you know what's expected, you know that it's possible. The next time you go, you'll know more what it's all about. Don't give up, take a break, and then go back.

 

[china autie]

What kinds of classes are you taking if you want to say? I think you have writing talent. And I can envision you creating games. I don't know you do my guess is as good or bad as anyone else's.

I have to tell you that I have never ever been what either parent thought I should be. I tried and it was a total failure many times. I survived anyway.

As I got older--after much self-torture-- I finally began to understand that my learning difficulties lay in the very fields that my parents thought I should study for and take up! The stuff I was really good at was stuff my parents thought of as trivial or meaningless.

I had to learn to find my own fulfillment and do stuff that makes me happy.

My parents grew up during the American Depression. My dad's parents took him and his siblings to a truck farm so they would not starve but they were dirt poor. My mom's parents remained in a city where they ran a small grocery store.

I guess it is natural to want your kids to be high achievers and catapult into the upper echelon of society.

Well, I had to do my life my way.

Most of us do.

Unni may not be for everyone. Can you go part-time instead of full-time? Or get a job and take one class at a time? Change your major to something that you really live? Go to some sort of trade school instead?

I wish you the very best and I believe in you.

 

[Aspychata]

Gave that up, my parents never gave me any input, it was tough. Think just moving out started my path to independence. l was working since age 17. l went to uni's off and on, and l enjoy learning which is a lifelong process. At some point, you will feel that you fit in, it's a journey, life is a discovery path really about you. Do you wish to travel, do you want to intern for a computer game company, do you want to train animals at the zoo. Hope you find a passion first, a job second.

 

[Shamar]

Ok so this semester I tried to go back at unni...
Ofc it was a failure, I cant stand goiing all day there , and I am unable to connect with anyone, I gave up a lots of classes already and now I have to go to some of them at least to not get a failing grade....

I deleted my old Wow account but I created another one again and I play from scratch, its actually the only thing that make me feel happy.

This feeling that I wont get anything positive from the real world is realy strong and I dont know how to change that at all...at least I need to graduate...

Under what law/tradition/principle are you obligated to become what your parents want you to become?

 

[Aspychata]

The

Under what law/tradition/principle are you obligated to become what your parents want you to become?

"guilt trip law". haha

 

[Judge]

The
"guilt trip law". haha

True dat!

As well as a compulsion to stay within the confines of whatever might be perceived as "the family business". In my family, that meant some form of a government career. Though it just didn't work out that way.

The older I got, the less I felt obligated to follow in the footsteps of my father, his father, his uncle and brother, along with so many other of my immediate relatives.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Under what law/tradition/principle are you obligated to become what your parents want you to become?

Well they dont want me to be something specific,I didnt explain it correctly,but the least they expect from me is that I get out of my room , stop play video games and have a responsible adult life with a job, and it seems impossible...

You can always go back and keep trying and not give up

Second DON'T give up hon KEEP trying (believe i know how you feel i felt/Feel the same )

Hope you find a passion first, a job second

Thanks realy all of you !

 

[Sarah S]

Well they dont want me to be something specific,I didnt explain it correctly,but the least they expect from me is that I get out of my room , stop play video games and have a responsible adult life with a job, and it seems impossible...





Thanks realy all of you !

NOTHING is impossible dear I managed to become what i wanted against ALL ods i should add (truck driver) It took A LOT of work and HEAP of patience and trial and errors but i did it as can YOU

 

[Aspychata]

Video games, if these are passion, would you want to work as programmer? It doesn't seem they are asking much from you, but putting yourself out there is always difficult, the more you apply for jobs, the better you get at it.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

I have no skill whatsoever^^'

 

[Aspychata]

We all feel like that sometimes, the only way you know how great you are is to try some jobs. Jobs will give you confidence, make you interesting and give u hard cold green to by more videogames, if you get enough of the green, you can actual buy a house or condo to store your personal collection of video games, candy bars, etc

 

[Sarah S]

I have no skill whatsoever^^'

NONCENCE dear thats only youre poor self confidence that says that ( I should know cause i have also sufferd from it pretty mush from little girl to adult hood )

 

[Shamar]

Well they dont want me to be something specific,I didnt explain it correctly,but the least they expect from me is that I get out of my room , stop play video games and have a responsible adult life with a job, and it seems impossible...

Thanks realy all of you !

Back too many years ago, this was referred to as "Finding Yourself." For some undetermined reason, it frequently involved trekking through India. I'm not sure if I ever knew anyone who actually found themselves this way, but it boiled down to individuals finding meaning in their lives. That is really what you need to focus on instead of video games and not doing anything. Don't look for something positive in the real world, look for something positive within yourself, and build on that.

 

[Fino]

I stopped going to school countless times, which is why it took me 9 years for a Bachelor's. You don't want to be there all day, so can you do part-time? Online? I plan on getting my next degree online. I can't stand to go to school anymore after those 9 years. The last two semesters I was having meltdowns almost weekly.

 

[Ginseng]

What about trade school? What type of things interests you, besides video games? If you answered that already I apologize. I missed it.

 

[Reirei]

I stopped going to school countless times, which is why it took me 9 years for a Bachelor's. You don't want to be there all day, so can you do part-time? Online? I plan on getting my next degree online. I can't stand to go to school anymore after those 9 years. The last two semesters I was having meltdowns almost weekly.

I took 6 years. It's not about how long it takes but more about finding what fits/interests you.

Also, other people mentioned programming for video games which is a good option or artwork for video games or maybe voice acting or any number of things that could relate to video games that may or may not require a degree.

 

[Sarah S]

Lets just say my schooling had ONE good year apparently and thats when mom & the new school (we moved ) decided for me to take grade 5 a second time then again DOWN hill again

 

[JDShredds]

Your parents should want you to be what you want yourself to become (ideally the "higher" version of yourself, as we all have the lower self we could be). If they want anything other than that, they are wrong.

In time, you will learn that your parents opinion simply doesn't matter. This is your life, not theirs. They're as clueless as anyone else.

I'd also like to point out that going to Uni was not a failure. You tried it. You went. That's a victory, even if its not for you in the full-time student way. Trying IS a victory.

The restarting in WoW thing rings a bell to when I used to incessantly create new Diablo characters. I would create a new one, beat the game, get sick of that character and create another one. There was something about starting from nothing and growing to prominence that appealed to me much more than sticking with one character until max level. That theme seems to manifest in a lot of parts of my gaming life as a matter of fact.

In real life, I'm too fatigued by change to do anything like that.