If Aspies/Auties wrote advertising slogans?

[Mia]

I hate advertising, it's full of lies, stupidity, annoyances, manipulations and dumb jokes that drive me crazy.

I'm going to rewrite some of the worst offenses here:] Feel free to make up your own. Or you can simply point out the illogical stupidity of them, or all.

Credit cards:
'Don't leave home without it' : Can't think of a rebuttal to this one?
'What's in your wallet?' : Money
Soup:
Mm Mm Good : Not really, it's salty and awful.
Hair Dye:
Does she or doesn't she?: Dye her hair or have sex?
Coke:
It's the real thing: Real brown sugar water.
De Beers:
A diamond is forever: So is herpes.

 

[Judge]

Probably the one thing that leaves me scratching my head the most is how so many commercials digress into that which is funny and/or cute, yet ultimately says nothing about the product being advertised. To a point where at the end of the commercial I'm confused as to what the product may be, let alone any intended message about it.

Much like broadcast news, I suppose advertisers also feel compelled to entertain rather than enlighten their audience.

Though in terms of manipulation, if one has actually memorized all those taglines I suppose from their point of view that may be "half their battle".

 

[OkRad]

You all over there in England and Canada are so LUCKY YOU DO NOT HAVE Drug adverts!!!! That is all we have here, one after another. What can you do with them? They never end and are full of bombastic lies. And you go to the Dr and they are $40,000 for a supply. No joke.

When I lived in Canada, it was great. I could hardly believe it. Only ads about normal stuff. Dog food, diamonds, cars, hair stuff............

 

[Judge]

You all over there in England and Canada are so LUCKY YOU DO NOT HAVE Drug adverts!!!!

Yeah.

And remember....apart from 5,463 possible known side effects, our product may cause death. So enjoy!

 

[Brony714]

"And do not take this if you're pregnant, nursing, planning on getting pregnant, diabetic, can spell "pregnant", suffer from arthritis, know anyone who has ever been pregnant, are a Siamese twin, a direct descendant of anyone who has ever been pregnant, have ever had the common cold, know what "pregnant" means, used alcohol or drugs in the last 48 hours, have the capability to become pregnant, or are still reading this disclaimer... "

 

[Mia]

So true

 

[Mathalamus]

if it were me, i wouldn't even bother with advertising.

 

[FreeDiver]

Thank god for ad blockers. Some of those unskippable ads that they run on YouTube just about make me want to chuck my computer out the window. GEICO insurance anyone? On a side note, not all ads are bad. I happen to be an electrical engineer and I get ads from various test equipment and chip companies introducing and explaining their new products. No marking jargon here, just the detailed facts about their products, presented in a clear and professional manner. Too bad the rest of the world of advertising can't be this way.

 

[Brony714]

I enjoy vintage ads and commercials myself...

 

[Adder1234]

The only ads I like are the funny, comedy skit ones. If I were in charge of advertising, the slogan would probably be "Because it works."

 

[Suzanne]

I wouldn't be able to, because I actually do not feel comfortable with the thought of impeding in others spending regime.

What I hate about adverts online is that they are so in the face and the horrible flashing lights and continueous movement drives me so mad that I could scream and then, when you try to press the cross to stop it, sometimes those cunning advertisers actually make you go into the advert! Or you get a list of the reason why you do not want the advert

I also get: sorry you didn't like this; next time we will try harder to find what you do like! Excuse me; I don't want bloody adverts PERIOD. If I want something, I want the right to go and search for it myself.

I feel it is unfair too that to get rid of some adverts, you have to pay a subscription; not fair, because one cannot always afford to pay.

 

[xudo]

This one is what I think every time one is delivered. The internet has rendered you obsolete, please stop making these.

This one is just funny. The amount of people who ask Dr. Google about their symptoms and are then surprised when 9 times out of 10, they're dying of cancer.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I saw a sign above an ATM last night that said "Free Cash".

 

[FreeDiver]

Too bad all ad's can't be like this.

 

[kay]

This is the kind of ad I'd want to watch all day.

 

[Mia]

If insurance companies were honest:

 

[Mia]

If Antidepressant commercials were honest:

 

[toothless]

I saw a sign above an ATM last night that said "Free Cash".

ive seen that,it confuses the hell out of me [and believe me theres plenty of hell]

im a sucker for adverts that have animals in them,the latest one is the UK clearscore advert with the ginger tomcat 'flearoy':

screw the credit score i want flearoy.

 

[xudo]

ive seen that,it confuses the hell out of me [and believe me theres plenty of hell]

im a sucker for adverts that have animals in them,the latest one is the UK clearscore advert with the ginger tomcat 'flearoy':

screw the credit score i want flearoy.

AHHHHH WE LOVE FLEAROY! There's a new one with him in and my husband keeps missing it!

 

[ksheehan88]

If I was an advertiser:

Buy this piece of overpriced **** because everyone else has one! Don't worry, we'll make sure it works right up until the day after your warranty expires so you need to buy another one because we're immoral assholes who don't give a ****.