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I wonder if people notice autism?

Lysander

Lysander

Well-Known Member
Have you ever wondered if people notice you have autism?

I've always wondered this, especially when there are certain people who I see every day.

I kind of think there might be one or two at work who suspect me, but sadly it's the kind of thing that will have to remain a mystery for now.

I'm curious about what other people think of me, but it's like forbidden knowledge unless I ask them, which isn't usually a good idea.
 
I think that people notice, but I do not think that they know that it is autism. I believe that all that they see is what they think is weirdness. The vast majority of the people out there can not or will not understand autism. It is wild what some people think if you tell them that you are autistic. That is why I do not tell anyone unless they need to know. People who know of me but do not really know me, think of me as "that weird, old, smart guy" and that is fine with me.
 
I have found that it really varies along an X and Y axis.

  • How much I am masking
  • How non-conforming the audience is
In a rigid culture I have to mask a lot to avoid detection, while in an arty & creative crowd I can let my freak flag fly and no one minds.
 
I only get exposed as having AS if someone with high emotional intelligence has several different conversations with me. 9 out of 10 people don't even notice there is anything different about me. I don't stim, I don't go mute or anything. Management types interviewing me, however, they can tell that I'm different. My responses to their questions, while being articulate, they aren't the predetermined, expected responses they are looking for.
 
I was frequently mentioned to be 'different', sometimes 'weird'. Though in general I got along well with people, due to trying. So yes.
 
Unless they're an expert, I doubt they notice my autism. After all, no one thought for a moment I might be autistic until I was in my late 20's in 2001.
 
Don't think many people beyond those who are autistic, or work with people who are autistic in a clinical setting, would pick up on it.

When I had meltdowns at work or at home, people attributed it to being female, or childishness, or hysteria. They didn't realize it ever. Neither did my own parents when I was a child. Realize now that it was related to being misunderstood, and frustration at my inability to verbalize what I wanted or found unacceptable.

Even with my husband, at parties related to his work. There were people who simply avoided him. He would stand too close, and they would move away. Then he would move in closer when talking about something that he found interesting, and they would make faces and move away. He didn't really notice it. Don't think they knew at the time that he is HFA, they simply though him over-friendly or that he talked too loudly when excited.
 
When ever I read autistic related articles online (and probably any article), I always like to jump to the comments section if there is one. It is quite revealing sometimes. There are a wide variety of comments usually. Some comments suggest that it is completely made up. It is frustrating to read comments like that and makes me angry. But what makes me angriest is people commenting act like they have all the answers. Most of which have little knowledge on the subject. I don't know if the people commenting are a fair sample set of the general population thought. Many of the people commenting are morons who have nothing better to do.
 
I think people notice it all but consider it weirdness. They for sure notice me being not very socially skilled, not looking them in the eye, weird gait, things like that. But I think when most people think autism they think a few extreme cases, not the average aspie who they see everyday.
 
I keep to myself most of the time, and avoid social events, so I haven't seen anyone enough to actually get comments. The few people I have known casually over the last few years haven't said anything, but who knows? Maybe they think I'm weird. I mean, I am kind of weird, if you don't know me well. In my eyes, I am normal, and everyone else is weird.
 
I think most just I am weird or not sociable.
I got through life until my late 50's and only the old country doctor once made mention that around puberty
I had an autistic personality. He told my Mom that. She didn't ask anything about it until later when she asked me if I heard him say that.
My reply was " I think he said I had an artistic personality."
But I distinctly heard him say autistic.

I always wanted someone to be with when out in public. Someone I could talk to while shopping or
what ever. It made me feel I was acting more normal.
Now I must do most shopping alone and I am conscious of how I act in the stores.
Decision making is difficult. I can fiddle around looking at something for a long time unable to make up my mind about buying it. People look, I pretend not to notice.
Imagine the way The Good Doctor would act in a mall trying to decide on getting something.
That's my actions and I know people think it's weird.

Then going to the register to pay for something. The dreaded questions of "Did you find everything alright?"
"Oh, this is so cute and such a good buy!" "Will this be cash or charge?"
All while I just fumble through my bag getting the money or a credit card, saying nothing.
Thinking just get through this.
But, I don't think they know it's autism. I think they just see weird or the most unfriendly person they've met.
 
Yes, I sometimes wonder if people realise that I'm autistic, but I don't think so, because people in this country don't know what being autistic means. As far as they are concerned, autistic = rainman. I think that people notice that I'm different to them, I've been told that I'm smart but lacking in social skills, that I'm "egocentric" or that I'm stubborn, or wierd or withdrawn, distant, aloof/disinterested and not very friendly. I think that people don't like me much.
I've had one or two strange experiences when walking around in the supermarket, for example, when I have suddenly become intensely aware of someone watching me, and sensing something from them but I don't know what, or I have sensed something about that person and there is a kind of communication, and at that time, I wondered if they were on the spectrum and picking up somehow that I'm on the spectrum, too.
 
Not unless they’re looking for it.

Labels such as quirky, high strung, mardy, a crank would be used rather than asd.

In my own experience I’ve found people to be too busy with their own stuff to pay much attention to what I’m doing,
(Unless I’m doing it a lot)
Which is great for staying under the radar.
 
Years ago my sister in law noticed Autistic traits in me long before I was ever formally diagnosed.

And contrary to popular opinion no I am NOT retarded.
 
Nope, not autism per se. But some other adjectives come to mind.

Eccentric, weird, manic, shy, introverted, reserved, etc.. Never anything relative to autism.
 
I didn't know about the autism until a couple years ago, but I always felt the same way. I knew I was different but couldn't understand how or why. I used to ask people how they seen me and would never get an answer. I know the people I would ask didn't want me to feel bad, so naturally would not tell me they thought I was weird or anything like that. One friend told me I was eclectic, but that's the most I ever got out of anyone. I did talk to a cousin and told her about the autism and she told me she just always thought I was weird is all. Why do we want to see how other people see us and why is it so hard?
 
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