I want to be a rock.

[Emor]

Babies just waste resources and require too much maintenance- they're as good as humans gets.
Children are juvenile, the only judgement they have is superficial judgement, they exclude others over insignificant things, etc.
Teenagers are more manipulative versions of children.
Adults are delusional and think age has some sort of correlation to intelligence...? Or, at least, intelligent decisions.
It just depresses me.
I've never seen a human and thought, 'woah, they're a genuinely nice person'. It's just like, all humans are scum bags on some level and I just can't accept that 99% of the people I'll come across in my life would be like those in my school who patronise me, think they're supreme to me, laugh at me, call me names, physically assault me, etc.
I go into town and some days I'll just laugh to my self about how pathetic the entire thing is, and some days it just makes me feel repulsive that I'm associated with such organisms.
It's like every human is flawed massively. I can't even be bothered with best friends anymore because it involves liking a person quite a lot and having to place a lot of trust in them.
IDK it's just like every human has to play into this stupid hierarchy, and when you don't you're gonna get ****ed.
Everyone has to be in a group. If you're not then you're ****ed and people will hate on you for no reason other than not conforming to their society's standards which make no ****ing sense. I mean, is it really THAT hard to just accept some people can't be arsed meeting irrational requests?
Even the groups are hierarchal though. If you're in a 'nerd' group you'll just have like 5 groups bashing you. It's total ********.
We care too much about inclusion as well, it's like we're dependent on being accepted by other humans. People who predominantly identify as Christian hang around with Christians and bash other religions. People who predominantly identify as Atheist hang around with Atheists and bash other religions. It's stupid.
People who predominantly identify as Autistic hang around with Autistics and just hate every single human who isn't autistic- when infact they hate humans but need a few humans to keep some form of sanity so they just choose on arbitrary group of which they'll accept and socialise with.
It's just stupid, that people thrive on inclusion and a major part of a community is hating the other communities.
Even gangs who don't have _any_ differences and should bond in their similarities hate each other over quite literally the name of their gangs. People beat people up over a team they happen to support... you're both football fans?
It just depresses me and it's like everyone at some extent is a scumbag.
And it makes me hate my self that I can't be perfect.
I want to be perfect. I'm not aspiring for a job, for friends, for acceptance, I just want to be ethical and perfect... I don't care if I end up homeless and at the bottom of this hierarchy, and then murdered by someone for, god knows what. I just want to be perfect and ethical.
Since I'm human that's basically impossible so I'd much rather be either blind and death, and thus oblivious of humans and my nature and just knowing of my own existence, but then again I wouldn't like to inflict the pain of having a defective child(oops already done that lol) on someone, so I guess a rock would do.
I'll probably delete this post in like an hour but oh well.
EMZ=]

 

[PanPaniscus]

Woah I sense some strong feelings here.

 

[Emor]

Woah I sense some strong feelings here.

Yes. Lol.
I'd like to attribute my perception of people to me being bullied but I'm guessing that's not really valid considering I know a lot of people who have been bullied who turned out fine.
EMZ=]

 

[PanPaniscus]

Yes. Lol.
I'd like to attribute my perception of people to me being bullied but I'm guessing that's not really valid considering I know a lot of people who have been bullied who turned out fine.
EMZ=]

I got bullied as well in school and I ended up not trusting people and having a people suck mentality but only for a short time though.
But I like people too much to hate them and have always craved the feeling of belonging in a group even though it's rare, if I feel accepted and liked by people for example an in joke is formed between me and a friend I'm super excited and celebrate even though for most people it's just a normal thing. Even the most minor of social victories make the world seem marvelous for the rest of the day, obviously social victories are not minor for me. So getting picked on a lot at school made me frustrated. Nowadays at college I provoke the feeling of indifference instead of amusement and hate or whatever which is an improvement I guess. I know I'll never be popular in a million years so I just make the most of the little social life I have, and I'm with people more on my wavelength and they just so happen to be misfits and aspies and I feel very comfortable with them. For years I made the mistake of setting myself unrealistic goals by trying to hard to impress people way out of my league and getting really upset when they ignored me or picked on me.

I doubt this was relevant to the thread but I kind of made the connection somewhere idk.

 

[Calvert]

I've never seen a human and thought, 'woah, they're a genuinely nice person'.

EMZ=]

I'm sure you've met people online like that.   

It's just like, all humans are scum bags on some level and I just can't accept that 99% of the people I'll come across in my life would be like those in my school who patronise me, think they're supreme to me, laugh at me, call me names, physically assault me, etc.

It's not gonna help you any but we've all been there and know what it's like. However, decent humans do exist, they're just rare.

IDK it's just like every human has to play into this stupid hierarchy, and when you don't you're gonna get ****ed.

That seems to be the way life is. You could just say "**** it" and be yourself though.   

People who predominantly identify as Christian hang around with Christians and bash other religions.

I don't.

People who predominantly identify as Atheist hang around with Atheists and bash other religions. It's stupid.

You don't. Well, maybe a little.   

People who predominantly identify as Autistic hang around with Autistics and just hate every single human who isn't autistic- when infact they hate humans but need a few humans to keep some form of sanity so they just choose on arbitrary group of which they'll accept and socialise with.

Not every Autistic is a supremacist. I'm not, you're not.   

It just depresses me and it's like everyone at some extent is a scumbag.
And it makes me hate my self that I can't be perfect.

It's very hard to believe but decent people do exist in society. You don't need to be perfect, I accept you for who you are.   

 

[Emor]

I'm sure you've met people online like that.   
To an extent, yes, but in the end of the day humans are humans tbh. I like to separate people online from people I meet in real life, but it's harder to do that as I get older.


It's not gonna help you any but we've all been there and know what it's like. However, decent humans do exist, they're just rare.
I'm saying the nature of humans is flawed, sure, there's definitely extents of ****ed up'd-ness but ultimately every human if ****ed up quite a lot, compared to a rock who's probably never done anything wrong.


That seems to be the way life is. You could just say "**** it" and be yourself though.   
I try to.


I don't.
You don't predominantly identify as Christian though. I've never heard you once talk about religion to me. Most people have something they identify with strongly, in terms of grouping, be it nationality/gender/race/religion/w.e.


You don't. Well, maybe a little.   
I used to but over the past few months I've just found the people who do it really pathetic and no better than the religious bombers or whatever.


Not every Autistic is a supremacist. I'm not, you're not.   
Nope, but I don't see my autism as a major part of my identity.



It's very hard to believe but decent people do exist in society. You don't need to be perfect, I accept you for who you are.   
You may(and you're one of the few, and I respect your acceptance), but I have unrealistic expectations and anything below perfection is pathetic for me. For other people it's a different story.

I got bullied as well in school and I ended up not trusting people and having a people suck mentality but only for a short time though.
But I like people too much to hate them and have always craved the feeling of belonging in a group even though it's rare, if I feel accepted and liked by people for example an in joke is formed between me and a friend I'm super excited and celebrate even though for most people it's just a normal thing. Even the most minor of social victories make the world seem marvelous for the rest of the day, obviously social victories are not minor for me. So getting picked on a lot at school made me frustrated. Nowadays at college I provoke the feeling of indifference instead of amusement and hate or whatever which is an improvement I guess. I know I'll never be popular in a million years so I just make the most of the little social life I have, and I'm with people more on my wavelength and they just so happen to be misfits and aspies and I feel very comfortable with them. For years I made the mistake of setting myself unrealistic goals by trying to hard to impress people way out of my league and getting really upset when they ignored me or picked on me.

I doubt this was relevant to the thread but I kind of made the connection somewhere idk.

The problem is that I have a hard time making any significant and long-term connection with other people. I'm okay for maybe a week, and then it get's too much and I go back to being a misanthrope. It's like I have zero-regard for whether or not I have a social life(I almost actively try to push away friends, especially in real life). Social victories just make me feel more normal and human and in all honesty that is just not something I aspire to.
Sorry guys, I'm in a ****** mood today. Sorry if anything I say offends you, I'll probably not be thinking this tomorrow or w.e.
EMZ=]

 

[PanPaniscus]

The problem is that I have a hard time making any significant and long-term connection with other people. I'm okay for maybe a week, and then it get's too much and I go back to being a misanthrope. It's like I have zero-regard for whether or not I have a social life(I almost actively try to push away friends, especially in real life). Social victories just make me feel more normal and human and in all honesty that is just not something I aspire to.
Sorry guys, I'm in a ****** mood today. Sorry if anything I say offends you, I'll probably not be thinking this tomorrow or w.e.
EMZ=]

OMG I'm like this loads. It's a real conscious effort to try to connect with people for a long time. Even though I get excited at the victory I instantly get scared or fed up and have to hide away because I no longer know what to say since I only socialise in short bursts (I can be great for one day and chatty, next day I hardly speak). I have 2 conflicting sides to me, the person that longs for friendship and to connect with people and the other side that won't let me because of my piss poor social skills and annoying social anxiety.

 

[PanPaniscus]

Not every Autistic is a supremacist. I'm not, you're not.   

There's one thing that really gets on my tits, and that's supremacists

 

[Calvert]

You don't predominantly identify as Christian though. I've never heard you once talk about religion to me.
EMZ=]

With good reason too. If I did i'd be torn apart just like on every other internet forum. Aspergic is no different. So hence, I keep my mouth shut about it. But yeah, it's complicated anyway so i'm gonna do a YT video and explain.

You may(and you're one of the few, and I respect your acceptance)

Well, thanks.   

 

[Emor]

I might be making assumptions but I do think that anyone who predominantly identifies themselves as Christian wouldn't befriend an Atheist. My definition of people who _predominantly_ identify/define themselves by their religion are fundamentalist assholes. I honestly can't see you being one tbh Calvert.
And yeah, I'm the same Monkey, except I rarely strive as such for friendship because even when I'm in a positive mood and want to be social on some level I still always know it wouldn't work out, it'd become an inconvenience in a matter of days, and I'm in effect probably using them. I also always feel like a tag along anyway in any friendship group I've been in, and I'm pretty sure the people wanted to make me feel like that.
It'd nice to be a likeable person irl but I don't I possess the necessary personality traits to come across as a good friend. TBH so far I've done a good job of being a **** friend to most of my friends, usually because I just CBA with them after like a week. It's not that they've done anything wrong- it's just too much effort.
EMZ=]

 

[Calvert]

I might be making assumptions but I do think that anyone who predominantly identifies themselves as Christian wouldn't befriend an Atheist. My definition of people who _predominantly_ identify/define themselves by their religion are fundamentalist assholes. I honestly can't see you being one tbh Calvert.
EMZ=]

Well, a lot of Christians could be like you described, but i'm not one of them. I don't mention it because if I were to I would just be attacked by Atheists, even if I didn't attack them before mentioning it. Anyway, like I said it's complicated and sometimes I don't know what to believe but i'll save that for the video. Many Atheists wouldn't befriend a Christian (or semi-Christian IDK).   BTW just because your Atheist, doesn't mean I wouldn't be friends with you. That would be stupid.

I also always feel like a tag along anyway in any friendship group I've been in, and I'm pretty sure the people wanted to make me feel like that.

I feel like this a lot but I think i'm slowly becoming more accepted and included. I'm not sure if they wanted to make you feel like that on purpose though. I tend to just feel like a tag along anyway regardless. 

 

[Emor]

Well, a lot of Christians could be like you described, but i'm not one of them. I don't mention it because if I were to I would just be attacked by Atheists, even if I didn't attack them before mentioning it. Anyway, like I said it's complicated and sometimes I don't know what to believe but i'll save that for the video. Many Atheists wouldn't befriend a Christian (or semi-Christian IDK).   BTW just because your Atheist, doesn't mean I wouldn't be friends with you. That would be stupid.



I feel like this a lot but I think i'm slowly becoming more accepted and included. I'm not sure if they wanted to make you feel like that on purpose though. I tend to just feel like a tag along anyway regardless. 

I think you're missing my point to an extent regarding religion but meh .
I'm almost sure they did tbh. They'd have long conversations about events, invite everyone in the group with the exception of me to events, and generally just try and find anyway to exclude me.
To be fair the only reason I've started hanging out with them again is to increase my tolerance with people for college so it's possible I could cope with a decent social life.
EMZ=]

 

[Calvert]

I think you're missing my point to an extent regarding religion but meh .

EMZ=]

Nope, I get your point completely. Really though, I do.  

I'm almost sure they did tbh. They'd have long conversations about events, invite everyone in the group with the exception of me to events, and generally just try and find anyway to exclude me.
To be fair the only reason I've started hanging out with them again is to increase my tolerance with people for college so it's possible I could cope with a decent social life.

That sucks. I would suggest being more forward about wanting to come along to those events. Ask them directly and see what they say. 

I get the feeling that one of the main reasons people exclude me from events is because I don't express enough interest in going to the said events.

 

[MONIQUEIJ]

Babies just waste resources and require too much maintenance- they're as good as humans gets.
Children are juvenile, the only judgement they have is superficial judgement, they exclude others over insignificant things, etc.
Teenagers are more manipulative versions of children.
Adults are delusional and think age has some sort of correlation to intelligence...? Or, at least, intelligent decisions.
It just depresses me.
I've never seen a human and thought, 'woah, they're a genuinely nice person'. It's just like, all humans are scum bags on some level and I just can't accept that 99% of the people I'll come across in my life would be like those in my school who patronise me, think they're supreme to me, laugh at me, call me names, physically assault me, etc.
I go into town and some days I'll just laugh to my self about how pathetic the entire thing is, and some days it just makes me feel repulsive that I'm associated with such organisms.
It's like every human is flawed massively. I can't even be bothered with best friends anymore because it involves liking a person quite a lot and having to place a lot of trust in them.
IDK it's just like every human has to play into this stupid hierarchy, and when you don't you're gonna get ****ed.
Everyone has to be in a group. If you're not then you're ****ed and people will hate on you for no reason other than not conforming to their society's standards which make no ****ing sense. I mean, is it really THAT hard to just accept some people can't be arsed meeting irrational requests?
Even the groups are hierarchal though. If you're in a 'nerd' group you'll just have like 5 groups bashing you. It's total ********.
We care too much about inclusion as well, it's like we're dependent on being accepted by other humans. People who predominantly identify as Christian hang around with Christians and bash other religions. People who predominantly identify as Atheist hang around with Atheists and bash other religions. It's stupid.
People who predominantly identify as Autistic hang around with Autistics and just hate every single human who isn't autistic- when infact they hate humans but need a few humans to keep some form of sanity so they just choose on arbitrary group of which they'll accept and socialise with.
It's just stupid, that people thrive on inclusion and a major part of a community is hating the other communities.
Even gangs who don't have _any_ differences and should bond in their similarities hate each other over quite literally the name of their gangs. People beat people up over a team they happen to support... you're both football fans?
It just depresses me and it's like everyone at some extent is a scumbag.
And it makes me hate my self that I can't be perfect.
I want to be perfect. I'm not aspiring for a job, for friends, for acceptance, I just want to be ethical and perfect... I don't care if I end up homeless and at the bottom of this hierarchy, and then murdered by someone for, god knows what. I just want to be perfect and ethical.
Since I'm human that's basically impossible so I'd much rather be either blind and death, and thus oblivious of humans and my nature and just knowing of my own existence, but then again I wouldn't like to inflict the pain of having a defective child(oops already done that lol) on someone, so I guess a rock would do.
I'll probably delete this post in like an hour but oh well.
EMZ=]

i never thought about beimg a rock but i wonder now mmmmm

 

[Carl Carter]

Apathy is the key. I stopped socializing in 2002, nothing much has happened since. I'm an atheist and don't bother attacking anyone; it ain't worth it, it's not like anyone is gonna change their minds about what they believe, so what's the point? Just don't care about anything, nothing matters anyway.