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I need to get back into psych community but am scared

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by Jumpback, Jul 9, 2020.

  1. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    what happens with me is I got harassed in school which eventually originated in OCD diagnosis which doesn’t ready fit

    By the time I went to college I was heavily into bodybuilding which seemed to make me a target for gay males. I got sexually assaulted by a gay minority couple, got assigned a gay, gay advocate at university, checked myself into mental ward but gay, gay advocates, seemed to see the problem was with my repressed homosexuality or my brain being malformed or endless disorders. Which led to me believing that issue was with me which led to multiple more gay sexual assaults and manipulations

    But I am not gay, but 30 some years of beat downs for upsetting the status quo are making me feel feel like I am reaching the end of my life. I lost my ex-gf over this due to her gay couples friends input and gay advocate psychs I was seeing and her gay advocate friend and on and on. I am giving up on life. I now drink about 16 beers a day

    But talking to psych community always involves upsetting them over gay things. What the hell do I do? I am not gay and I do not hate gays, I just want an out and to live the rest of my days in piece. But how do I get started back in the psych system without mentioning gay thongs which will upset everyone? I mean they ask what is my history, so how do I lie or what can I think to make up to lie about so psychswill just leave me alone about gay things?

    And there are a bunch of sexual assaults and manipulations which have never been addressed. But they will never will be addressed and will always be used against me due to the power structure, I understand this now. I just give up. I am not looking for equality any more, I just want an escape and help now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2020
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  2. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    No sexual assaults will be addresssed, no manipulations into gay sex will be addressed, no past wrongs of ganging up on the victim for being inconvenient will be addressed, no realities I might mention about gays and heterosexuals will be addressed. All this is off the table

    All I am asking for now is to receive basic medical attention despite being heterosexual, but I have to go to psychs and they will ask me about my past history and if I mention gay things they will be upset with me. So what lies do I make up? I cannot mention gay couples sexually assaulting and gays on drugs sexually assaulting and immigrant minorities feeling like they were made gay by childhood molestation or developing psychotic illnesses, I know all of my experiences and realities are off the table and I have to lie to receive medication, but I just do not know what lies to make up. I can’t find a way to just get medication without multiple rounds of psychologists before I can get to a psychiatrist
     
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  3. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Whatever, it does not matter that this is a subject which has completely destroyed my chances in life, that I have 3 college degrees, that I don’t hate anyone, that I got accused instead of helped for being a victim of sexual assaults, which also took everything about basic assistance for autism off the table

    All that matters is my inconvenience to the system for being suckered into giving up my life’s opportunities and my sense of self worth and confidence because powers had the ability to maneuver naive boys into screwing their whole lives up for facts that were just lies just to make things slightly more comfortable for minorities who had absolute complete control and power at the university level and were just being bulllies, but can’t be questioned due to their special status
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2020
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  4. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've always been confused by this. What do you want exactly? Do you want to see a psychiatrist and be prescribed medication? If so, you just tell them how you feel. You don't talk about your history. You just describe the symptoms you'd like to be treated.
     
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  5. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    And if you want therapy you find a psychologist or therapist who has experience in helping people with sexual assault trauma.
     
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  6. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    The issue is that I just want medication, but I can find no way to get medication without going through psychologists first. My experience with psychologists and this is issue has been very bad.

    I have talked with a couple family members about what to do, and they say just do not mention gay things, but I have to go through intake plus a couple weeks of psychologists before I can get to psychiatristists

    My history involves getting sexually assaulted by a black and Jewish gay coupled which led to hospitalization, three more sexual assaults by gays, then a roommate situation with an Hispanic immigrant who felt he was made gay by childhood sexual assault, then roommate situation with guy who felt he was made gay b developing schizophrenia in his 20s. This is my history, and when I try to go through it things don’t seem to turn out well
     
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  7. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    I've never heard of going through psychologists to get to psychiatrists. Are you in the US?
     
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  8. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    One would think things would be this simple, but first sexual assault by gay couple seemed to mean to gay advocate psychologists that I have repressed homosexuality or might present a danger and eventually led to being told my brain didn’t work right and I had 3 disorders. Zero interest in helping with sexual assault, being supportive about sexual assault or anything else, despite that’s the sole reason that I saw psychs and was hospitalized
     
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  9. Fino

    Fino Alex V.I.P Member

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    If you don't like a psychologist, see a different one.
     
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  10. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Yes, that’s how things seem to work here
     
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  11. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    All of them are gay advocates. My sister is a psychologist who is an advocate for transgenders and she finds me upsetting and blames me for things around sexual assaults
     
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  12. Els

    Els Well-Known Member

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    You can get to a psychiatrist without getting to psychologists. They're doctors.
    You can also ask your general practioner about medication.
    You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk, talking about your current mental health issues is enough. You don't need to bring the whole story, tbh most doctors don't really care. They will hear the symptoms you have, for how long, and give you meds.
    There might as well be psychiatric emergencies at hospitals if you look for it. If it's an emergency anyway, go to the emergencies and ask for help. Any doctor can prescribe you something that will help.

    I won't answer further but if you need MEDICAL help and your situation is urgent, go to doctors, anywhere they are doesn't matter. It's not complicated. You go anywhere there are doctors, you say you can't take it anymore and it's urgent. No need to find a plan or whatever, they don't care, they've seen others.
    If it's an emergency you go to emergencies, no matter if it's psychiatric or not; and if you need meds you go to a doctor, psychiatrist or not.

    Now I won't answer further, if you need help and it's about meds, urgent things, and so on, I just stress you to ask for help IRL.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2020
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  13. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    The UK has a national database of therapists and support services for male rape victims (found here if anyone's interested) I bet wherever you live has something similar.
     
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  14. NothingToSeeHere

    NothingToSeeHere Asexuowl V.I.P Member

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    Here, I did a google for similar in USA Therapist Directory | MaleSurvivor They also have a forum and other support lists.
     
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  15. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I can go through outpatient intake or inpatient at this local hospital. I don’t think that I need to be inpatient, but it would get me medication sooner.

    The thing about urgent outpatient at this hospital is they want an intake appointment and then two weeks of seeing psychologists or social workers before getting to a psychiatrist (psychiatrists make a lot more money than psychologists).

    The issue is that it is complicated because medications I need are controlled substances in the US (Xanax/Klonopin especially, but also ADHD medications) and regular doctors won’t prescribe especially the anxiety medications.
     
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  16. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    I don’t even care about sexual assault issues or being homeless for not desiring sex issues any more, I am just tired of upsetting psychs for trying to get help and for having this issue block me from getting other help.
     
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  17. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    I guess that I can just clam up and refuse to talk to anyone and just keep insisting that I need to get to a psychiatrist as soon as possible. I am just not sure how this will be interpreted. Like I am slightly scared they will just think that I am trying to get at controlled substances for my drug addiction or something if I refuse to talk about my history
     
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  18. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I am not convinced that medication alone is the answer for you - it seems to me that there is some more stuff to be worked through. But, hey what do I know about you and what you need?
     
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  19. Jumpback

    Jumpback Well-Known Member

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    I tried before with sexual assault issues. In the middle of this couple women dragged me to gay club and I was in the men’s bathroom when female psychologist I was assigned was shoved in the men’s bathroom by her group of gays friends she was there with because they were all drunk and it was funny

    It just doesn’t work when you are a straight man and everyone you get assigned over sexual assault issues either is a gay guy or the sort of woman who would go to gay pride with her gay friends. I had a very inconvenient problem in the middle of the gay rights movement and had to go through 100% gay rights advocates who either weren’t interested or found creative ways to blame the victim
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2020
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  20. Alexej

    Alexej Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Thank you for the prompt reply.
    I am more convinced that there is deeper work to be done than medication can fix.

    IMHO medication can support me until I can find a place to sort the deeper issues. The whole gay straight thing is such a big part of the story here that some personal work (counselling, therapy) seems that it would be helpful as well. However, based on your story, finding the right counsellor/therapist will be crucial and a challenge.
    I know you will be very cautious in this choice and rightly so
     
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