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I just don’t get Banter..

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Frostee, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Kyou Nukui

    Kyou Nukui music is amazing

    Oct 18, 2018
    I can do it in a pair. It is like a trust excercise. You have to be close to the other person for it to work.
    I definitely don't like banter from a group; but then I don't have any group to receive banter from.
    I have tried to engage in banter with someone who I felt close to, as I thought that's how to act normal and show a normal person that I want to be close; but I was told it was insulting. :(
    I didn't understand. I thought all socially normal people "get" banter. I now actually wonder if they were ND too. Neither of us knew at the time, of course. :(
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  2. Pats

    Pats Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Aug 18, 2018
    You guys all make it sound like two or more people getting together and say, "Hey, let's sit down and get some banter going." I've never labeled a type of conversation. I can sit with someone and have a goofy conversation where we're both being entertained, but I have no name for that.
  3. inkfingers

    inkfingers 21 year old artist

    Dec 12, 2018
    I used to not understand banter, either, but my little sister and my brother used it so often that I felt left out, so I really wanted to learn it. Yes, it's kind of taking a dig at someone (or exaggerating their faults in some cases) but both participants acknowledge their faults and find it hilarious in a dark humor sort of way. That's my take on it. Also, I noticed that you understand it as taking a dig at someone you don't really like. I interpret it as teasing someone in a friendly way (like among siblings). No-one's supposed to take it seriously, we just like to tease each other.

    It was the same case with sarcasm for a while with me, but eventually, after countless trial and error, I sort of figured it out.

    So, my advice to stop people trying to banter with you, is to ignore them. If you retaliate, they'll just be encouraged to say more. Or you could try to explain to them that you don't like bantering, and don't understand it. If neither of these strategies work, and they are teasing you in a bullying, cruel way, then consider whether you really want to hang out with them. The other (probably harder) route is to learn how to banter. Practicing with a close friend or sibling would be nice, because sometimes its hard to tell if someone is lovingly teasing you, or has malicious intent. So if you practice with someone you trust, you'll know that they have your back.
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  4. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Nov 24, 2014
    Just thinking of something that has come up fairly recently. Teasing people and then saying: it is lovely that you are not a sensitive person. And when this is said. I am thinking: that just gives you an excuse to be cruel and how is that being a decent person?
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  5. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Dec 6, 2016
    I associate it with a group of nervous psychologically immature people
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