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Featured I gave this a go...

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by shooter, Dec 28, 2019.

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  1. shooter

    shooter Active Member

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    A 30 year old incel who has never spoken to females before, in my whole life. I am 30 and it causes me mental anguish that I have not had any memories with human females.

    So I was idly browsing YouTube and came across this video from a guy (from further research I've found out he is a "PUA," meaning "pick up artist") and decided to go up and say "Hi" to 10 females.



    Apparently, you've got to physically block they're path and get in front of them. To me, it sounds quite aggressive, but I've got Asperger's, so what do I know about social interaction.



    The results are...interesting, to say the least.
     
  2. Jeremiah

    Jeremiah Chaotic Neutral

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    You don't/didn't have a mother?
     
  3. shooter

    shooter Active Member

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    Yeah of course, but I mean "man to woman" memories. That I've craved since my mid teens.

    You know most people get girlfriends, somehow. It isn't 2006 anymore, I am 30, not 16.
     
  4. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Blocking females isn't a good move for some of us who have come from being harrassed in our lifetime. Understand your issue.
     
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  5. shooter

    shooter Active Member

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    I don't mean to harass them, I just have very little understanding of social interaction, so I looked to him for guidance.
     
  6. Varzar

    Varzar Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Seems a little like jumping into the deep end of a pool and hoping you'll learn to swim before you drown..

    How about just learning to interact with women in a normal (non-relationship) sort of environment first? Like, just talking to women you meet in everyday life (e.g. servers at restaurants, women you work with). Just learn some small talk skills. Forget about the relationship thing until you can actually just interact. Then maybe cultivate some friendships with women around you (in school or work, or friends of other male friends).

    Going from "I've never talked to women" to "I'm going to block them in the streets to try and get their attention" sounds like a recipe for pepperspray to me.. :p
     
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  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Going up to 10 women and saying “hi” to them with the sole purpose of interaction sounds like a good idea, if only to practice your social skills by trying to keep a conversation going afterwards. I wouldn’t initiate contact by blocking their path though. I know I wouldn’t respond well to that and I think a lot of other women wouldn’t either.

    As suggested before, meeting people is easiest when you have a shared interest to talk about. Striking up a conversation with someone at a bar is the way I practiced my conversational skills. Of course, it’s easier for a woman to strike up a conversation with a random man than vice versa, but I’ve had plenty of pleasant conversations with strangers of both sexes at bars and clubs.
     
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  8. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    This here, dont do this.

    Firstly, if someone's "strategy" for meeting people is "get in their way" or "invade their space", they shouldnt be teaching anyone anything. That's a recipe to get people to hate you.

    Understand: Just because a video or Youtuber SAYS that they're helping you learn something, doesnt mean they actually ARE. People often make videos like that in order to simply draw in those precious, precious views and likes. Which is also why they sometimes will come up with "controversial" ideas in those videos... it just gets them even more views.

    I've said this to other people on this forum before (and they never listen...), and I'll say it to you as well: There is no quick-fix solution that is going to help you. It doesnt work that way. In fact, probably the #1 thing you should do is to STOP thinking about it. Believe me, people can tell when you're obsessed with meeting someone for the reasons that you are. It pushes people away in many situations, doing the exact opposite of what you want. Real relationships dont start that way. Stop obsessing over sex or getting a girlfriend, and just meet people normally. Get out there and find some hobbies to do with others, or stuff like that. Make some friends. Just normal friends of any gender. As others said above, you need to learn to interact in the first place, before you can progress to anything else.

    Also.... drop the word "incel" from your vocabulary. As a very, very long-time denizen of the internet, I can tell you right now, use of that word is going to make things harder on you. It has.... negative connotations. Say it around anyone that knows what it REALLY means, and you're guaranteed to push them away from you.
     
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  9. Juliettaa

    Juliettaa Black Sheep. Society of One. V.I.P Member

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    The way to meet women is not to physically block their path. You're right, it IS aggressive.

    If someone did that to me, they'd find themselves kneed in a very delicate place.

    There are some suggestions already on this thread on how to meet women so I won't repeat those; however I will reiterate that the way to meet a woman is not to block her path. You could find yourself on your knees, literally, or being arrested for harassment.

    Good luck in your future endeavours. You're still young and we often meet people in unlikely places and/or when we're least expecting it.
     
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  10. shooter

    shooter Active Member

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    I am "jumping in the deep end", but, I have no choice. I only see women in the street, I am long term unemployed and I've tried meeting women back when I did have a job, but got reported to my manager for my advances.

    I don't meet women in every day life at all. Even if I want to learn small talk, my only choice is to do so by making advances on the street.

    Right, so path blocking isn't a good idea, but I've been doing it all summer. It's just that, the guy in the video is 100% convinced that you have to do it that way, otherwise you are weakl which I don't want to be, I want to face my fears.

    You are damn right, it is 100% easier as a woman to talk to strangers. As a man, they assume you are a sex offender or a weirdo at best.

    I don't share any female interests, at all. No females are interested in what I'm interested in and I have many interests.

    Right, okay, I was a little bit naive and I will stop the aggressive behaviour, but this guy convinced me that it was the right think to do, even when I met him in person for coaching.

    I am starting to see now that there is no quick fix solution, I was naive and I thought the reason I never met any women was because I had never taken to "initiative" and approached them in a bold and assertive manner before.

    The reason I have become "obsessed" is due to realising that time is passing, now I'm in my 30s, compared to in my late teens and 20s when it felt like time was moving so slowly.

    I've made male acquaintances (not friends) but acquaintances, but none of them can help me get girls anyway.

    It looks like if I "need to learn to interact" I am never going to meet women, if my teens and 20s were anything to go by.

    Okay, I didn't know about the word "incel" I just thought it meant someone who has wanted to have sex for many years but couldn't.
     
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  11. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    I want to touch on two things you said. First: not all women will assume you are a sex offender or a weirdo, but it depends on how you approach them and where. Stopping someone in the middle of the street or in the supermarket might come off as weird, chatting to someone in a pub or at a gathering for your special interest is considered normal behavior. When a man approaches me in those settings I don’t assume anything, unless they start with a creepy pickup line.
    I personally don’t believe pickup artists are the best people to teach you how to form functional relationships with women. My personal belief is that being friendly and just approaching a woman as a fellow human beings with hopes, dreams and interests instead of a different species is the best approach.

    As for no woman being interested in things you’re interested in, that just can’t be true. There are plenty of women with non-standard interests, you just have to know where to find them. If you have niche interests it’s going to be tricky to meet someone with similar interests out in the wild. Your best bet would be to join a club or go to meetups for those interests and meet someone there.

    For instance, I’m into pen and paper roleplaying and video games, among many other things. I met most of my friends through a local forum where geeky kids from my area posted. We had a lot of meet ups and 17 years later I’m still close with a lot of them.
    When I got older I used to hang out at bars with a high population of geeks, where people would sometimes get together and play Magic the Gathering or board games. It was scary to go alone at first, but if you befriend the bartenders you’re never completely alone and they may introduce you to others. Got to know a lot of people with similar interests, made a lot of friends and had two long term relationships that came out of this.
     
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  12. Misery

    Misery Photo-Negative V.I.P Member

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    This right there, this sort of thing is a warning that what's being done is not good, and not helping. Pay attention to things like this. For whatever reason, alot of people on the spectrum have a tendency to somehow not notice/process things like that, but it's important to learn.


    That's an assumption, and frankly a totally illogical one. I've had female friends before. We have indeed shared interests. But here's the thing: My interests are like, hyper-geeky. Video games, cosplay, anime. And I'm the sort that utterly refuses to pretend to be interested in things that I'm not. Yet still, I've met plenty of girls who are into that sort of thing. Like.... REALLY into it.

    But how is that possible, you ask? Here's the thing: Did it ever occur to you that you can meet people in all sorts of different places? Yes, I know society teaches you that you can only meet people in bars and... bars. And that alcohol must always be involved. Society is also dumber than a sack of hammers. If you want to meet people that have similar interests... you need to go to the sorts of places where people with those interests tend to appear at. In my case, I met them at anime conventions. And no, those events are not mostly males. Girls arent rare at those. Simply being one gender or the other does not force someone into a specific set of interests. Again, society tells you otherwise, but society makes a freaking houseplant look like Einstein.

    If you want to meet people with your interests... go to different places. I *guarantee* you, those places exist. But you'll have to search them out and break out of your comfort zone. Dont get me wrong: doing this is not easy. Finding the places and managing to reach them, not easy. Though, it's worth noting that places ONLINE also count. You absolutely can go to forums that are specifically focused around your interests and meet some there. But if you try that, DO NOT go in there posting topics like "are there any girls interested in this stuff?" Seriously, just dont. It wont help.


    Dont be so obsessed with time and age. People often meet their mates even quite a bit later than where you are at now. You getting older stops you only if you allow it. Again, society says otherwise, but... well, I already went over that part, didnt I?

    Exactly.

    Pickup artists are, well.... think of a big, cold-hearted corporation, yes? They dont REALLY care about you, the consumer, one bit. They care about their bottom line and pleasing their shareholders. That's why nearly all of them are willing to lie and cheat and abuse in order to get your money.

    Pickup artists are pretty much just that. They're selling you on the idea of a "service" that, in most cases, never actually works. And when you see "examples" of them doing it with someone, you can be that someone is paid to be there. Pickup artists have a very negative connotation associated with them for a reason. Some of them are after money, and others are after views and self-validation. One way or another though... they "sell" a service in order to get something. Whether or not that service ACTUALLY helps is irrelevant.

    Not to mention that trying to use silly schemes like that will only make the situation more confusing. If you want a relationship to work... instead of almost immediately failing... you have to BE YOURSELF. Dont try to modify who you are in order to fit into some arbitrary group. Whoever you're with *will* spot who you really are sooner rather than later, and if you got them to be with you through that sort of deceit, well... I'll leave you to guess how it ends.

    It reminds me alot of those "[insert profession here] HATES HIM" ads. They try so very, very hard to sell you on something bloody stupid that is more likely to harm you or make things worse rather than solve your problem. But they dont care about that: they get their money either way, and that's all they want.

    This is one of the harsh lessons of the internet that everyone must learn at some point... for their own good. Can happen offline too of course, it's still the same thing. But the Net is where this crap flourishes the most.
     
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  13. Aspychata

    Aspychata My Art Work

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    Think that a woman needs to be interested and want to meet you. So do something that makes you interesting. If you aren't working, can you volunteer? Can you work?Work on the best part of you and showcase that. I like making people laugh, and instead of impressing the guy, l am just saying stuff, and love it if the guy laughs. But a lot of men look at me and don't suspect l am a closet comedian. So what are your best points?
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2019
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  14. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

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    Don't be an incel. Those guys are messed up. Just go on Tinder and try to find dates.
     
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  15. WildCat

    WildCat and his scatterbrain V.I.P Member

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    Stay away from PUA drivel, this guy's advice and incel philosophy, please. Aggressive blocking? I wouldn't be surprised if the reactions to this were equally aggressive.

    Some of this pick-up artistry might work in the short term if you're lucky, but many are perceptive enough to eventually separate you from the false persona. Find a better source if you need dating advice.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2019
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  16. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

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    Except I don't particularly care for pick up artistry. I just made a suggestion on how to possible get a date since it's a popular method of doing so.
     
  17. WildCat

    WildCat and his scatterbrain V.I.P Member

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    My reply was directed towards the OP and not your post.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2019
  18. BrokenBoy

    BrokenBoy 戯言使い(Nonsense User)

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    Whoops lol.
     
  19. shooter

    shooter Active Member

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    So it's either being a PUA (to improve myself) or an incel, I don't see anyone offering other options.

    I notice someone angrily suggesting hobbies, but my hobbies are things I can do by myself, or other males and don't feature those of a female persuasion.

    I've been an incel my whole life, so I figured I would give PUA a go.

    I thought that I wasn't doing approaches which was why I didn't meet women.

    Maybe I am ugly, who knows.

    I went out on my bike with a camera on to film how a lot of my interactions go, I can provide a video if anyone is interested.
     
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  20. Bolletje

    Bolletje Potato chip wizard V.I.P Member

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    Do you have hobbies that require the participants to be male? Otherwise I can guarantee you there’s women with the same interests.

    As for the choice being between being an incel and a pickup artist, I respectfully disagree. You can meet women and socialize with them without having to resort to pickup techniques, you just need to have something to talk about and choose situations where striking up a conversation isn’t weird.
     
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