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I feel like I lead a boring life

Discussion in 'Help and Support' started by mw2530, Apr 19, 2022.

  1. mw2530

    mw2530 Well-Known Member

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    Lately I have had this repetitive thought that my day to day life is pretty boring and bland. I think I have this realization when I am being more social and hear about other people's lives and experiences. Inevitably I compare their experiences to my one and it makes me feel like I have had a pretty narrow set of experiences and have missed out on many things. This seems to be a recurring feeling - the feeling of missing out on the good things in life.

    For a many years I have been very focused on working and on my main interest. Everything else kind of came secondary. These two items still are my main focus, but probably not to the degree they had been. Work in particular has improved in that my current job does not interfere as much with my personal life as some past jobs did. Some of the past jobs required me to work a lot of hours which interfered with my personal life. During our busy time of the year, I really had no life. My life would consistent of working all day and then taking care of things like eating, cooking, sleeping, shopping. I also tried to fit in my main interest, but even that took a big hit during the busy season. Mentally it would throw me into depression and anxiety to some degree. I am not sure why I did it for so many years - perhaps I felt like there was not any other options for me. But I am sure there were other options, I just didn't know what to do. If I could go back, I would not have put myself through those many years of focusing so much on working. Instead I would have focused more on building my personal life to what I wanted it to be and work life would have come secondary. But since I grew up on a farm, working hard was instilled in me as a positive trait. And I still think it is a positive trait, but it can also cause harm if it is not put in check. It is also can go unchecked if you combine it with personality traits of being a people pleaser, being loyal, and just being a bit naïve in thinking employers and co-workers don't lie and are looking out for your best interest all the time. The combination of all these factors led me to overfocussing on my work life at the expense of building a personal life. I guess I always just thought that if I worked hard at work eventually it would lead to a happy personal life as well. Plus I did not really know how to go about improving my personal life and I am not sure I still know how to.

    Back to my feelings of having a boring life. I work in accounting and tax. The profession is stereotypically boring. I will say that it can be boring at times, but not always. It can be stressful. There is a variety of jobs and some can be more boring than others. In my personal life, I have had a narrow set of experiences. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have primarily focused on my main interest which has provided a lot of enjoyment in my life. At times it has also caused pain and frustrations. Due to not being able to develop a large social network when I was younger, I did not have to opportunity to try new things. I never really wanted to because I had little confidence in myself. I didn't really understand that many people try new things just for the experience and don't worry too much about failure. You could say that I missed out on the "experimental" stage of life. As a result of these missed opportunities, it made adult life more difficult because I never really learned much about myself; my likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses, my desires, my skills. As a result, I made some life and job decisions that were not great and lead to learning things to hard way and delay in moving forward in life. I didn't know myself well enough to have the information necessary to make big decisions. I always felt like I was guessing when it came to making some of life's biggest decisions.

    I am somewhat bored with my day to day life and I feel like that is going to difficult to change. I imagine there are others who feel the same way. I also live in a somewhat smaller city near where I grew up. Since it is not that big of a city there are less opportunities to find groups to join and try new things.
     
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  2. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think most people live boring lives,...go to work, come home and sleep,...rinse and repeat,...day after day. Some are more neurotypical and are social,...going out and doing things with friends, etc. then they may have more to talk about in the break room at work,...that's not me,...so I sit and listen to their stories without much to contribute to the conversation. However, my wife and I do go on vacations/holiday once or twice a year,...try to make it special,...go places most people don't. I do short, daily Instagram videos of our vacations while we are away,...share with the handful of work friends. I also share my orchid blooms throughout the year with people at work, etc. Granted, by some standards, it's still boring, but it gives an opportunity for people at work to see that I'm not a total "lump on a log" and gives them a topic for their little "small talk" with me.
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2022
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  3. Paul Lee

    Paul Lee Well-Known Member

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    You and me both.

    :(
     
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  4. Neonatal RRT

    Neonatal RRT Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I suspect that, for many of us, when at least part of our brain is a bit shut off from the social world, we tend to focus more on our special interests. A recent TEDx interview with Elon Musk, a fellow Aspie, suggested that we all need to have something that gets us up and excited in the morning. Perhaps that is his perception and how he copes with his life,...granted, it would appear he has many special interests and created businesses out of them,...why he can spend 16-18 hrs/day, every day, working on his special interests,...and is why he is a bit socially isolated. I pay attention to how he lives his life,...and to some extent, I feel I can relate and understand what he is going through, as only a person with Asperger's condition can.

    I know I have my work life,...which takes up more time than I would like,...as it does intrude into my special interest time. I half-jokingly tell others that work is an interruption in my life. The work is not what gets me up in the morning and excited about life,...but rather it is a means to an end,...vacation time, money for special interests, money for building a new home, money for retirement, etc. Delayed gratification. I can't wait to retire,...hopefully, early so that I can enjoy and do things in a somewhat youthful manner. I find so many people I know that don't have hobbies or special interests,...don't travel, don't read,...don't do anything,...and really worry about their mental state after they retire,...and frankly, don't want to retire because of this. Not me,...I plan on being quite busy,...lots of things to do and see.
     
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  5. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes V.I.P Member

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    I remembered in accounting firms, it's just black and white focus. And numbers had to add up, totals had to be correct and deadlines beyond belief that were met daily. This type of thinking did become monotonous to me, probably explaining why l never went further in this area. Perhaps some of us need different types of things to do daily to enjoy our jobs. I really enjoy reading for facts or checking things, so l absolutely adored working as a paralegal.
     
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  6. clg114

    clg114 Still crazy, after all these years. Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I do feel like I am leading a boring life since I retired. I worked until I was 74 and I would still be working if my body would let me. I spent 55 years finding and solving technical problems. I really liked what I was doing and really miss it.
     
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  7. Aspychata

    Aspychata Serenity waves, beachy vibes V.I.P Member

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    Me too. I wanted to stay working. I understand you. Life retires us too early.
     
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  8. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Imagine if certain souls reincarnate not to live a long mortal existence with conventional accomplishments, but that they are really here to fulfill just a single instant in time where it may only involve the welfare of another soul- one they may not even know.

    And that anything up to or after that possibility would make life seem "boring". I sometimes wonder about this...if my "cosmic usefulness" ended many years ago, and that now I'm simply "coasting". :oops:

    Yet if our reincarnated lives have such specific and deep meaning, perhaps there's no such thing as "boring" relative to our primary plane of existence or why we are here on this secondary plane. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. :cool:

    Gotta love "the big picture". ;)
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2022
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  9. Metalhead

    Metalhead Video game and movie addict. V.I.P Member

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    I would suggest taking up a hobby or making some other small improvements in your life to make it less boring. Try to learn a few new recipes to make your meal times more interesting. Join a hobby group with something you have an interest in and if it does not interest you further, then try something else out. Whatever you do, refuse to remain stagnant during the waking hours when you are not at your desk job. Keep the brain active. Find healthy stimulation. Do not turn to the temptations of booze or recreational drugs to fill up the time, I already made that mistake and I can assure you that you do not want to go down that road. Get a library card and read some books on topics that interest you, no matter how silly it may seem, it will make your life seem less boring at the end of the day.
     
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  10. Darkkin

    Darkkin Lioness of Spoons V.I.P Member

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    I actually appreciate the mundanity of my daily life. I don't do well with change. I have a job I enjoy and that offers creative recourse and challenge without being overwhelming. The fact that I have routine, a safe, tidy living space, fulfilling employment, and the ability to be boring is a very okay place for me to be.
     
  11. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    If you think you’re boring, then you probably (definitely) are. Try skydiving. Travel somewhere weird. Start reading controversial books.
     
  12. Darkkin

    Darkkin Lioness of Spoons V.I.P Member

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    I read banned books...heck, I own banned books. But I'm also doing NaPoem (30 poems in 30 days). I'm at 29 so far. (I got my homework done...early.) :(
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2022
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  13. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You rebel. As though your gorgeous animal friends weren’t enough. You’re a libertine.
     
  14. Kalinychta

    Kalinychta Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I’ve actually sought out banned books, though, too, since I was about fourteen. I have more than a few truly shocking volumes nestled within my bookshelves, even by today’s standards. I’m a huge fan of Georges Bataille, for instance. Terrific stuff.
     
  15. Matthias

    Matthias Well-Known Member

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    People are what makes life exciting and enjoyable. Life is dull and boring without friends, family, and romantic relationships because non-social activities can't compete with the joy you can experience around other people.
     
  16. mw2530

    mw2530 Well-Known Member

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    I guess explains why so many of us on here are unhappy with the quality of their lives, including myself.