I feel fortunate to be a Christian

[Pats]

I'm blessed and really happy that I have God in my life. I don't worry about my future because from my past I have learned that God already knows my future and has already planned for me to be taken care of. I know that without a doubt because I have seen it so many times. Things that could not be explained in human terms.
I'm happy because I know that one day I will be walking in God's kingdom and be perfect - all my flaws will be gone. I know there will be a new heaven and earth and it's going to be better than this one.
I'm happy because I've learned what Christian love really is and that God loves us all the same, no matter how many mistakes we've made (and I've made my fair share and then some) or if we love Him.
I'm happy because I know who I am in God's family. He has given me His word to live by and made it possible for me to read and understand on my own, rather than trusting someone who might possibly twist meanings, as with so many preachers.
I'm happy because I'm content and I've learned what this life is about. Without God I wouldn't have that. Without God I would have never survived this harsh world. He gives me strength daily.
I still make mistakes and I still have more things to learn, but as long as I have God, I know I will continue to grow.

Please don't take this as anything more than just wanting to say what my life is all about and why I'm still here and why I can still love even after the trials this life has brought me. I'm just feeling happy and fortunate.
If you don't believe in God, I'm not asking you to. But this is why no one will ever take my faith away and to give you an idea why my Christianity is so important to me. It's who I am in my existence.
Feeling of awe.

 

[Autistamatic]

That's a beautiful post Pats and exactly the sort of faith I can relate to. I may not share it, but I'm delighted it brings you such joy and certainty

 

[Fino]

That's exactly how I feel! We just use different terminology! And words are silly, so that doesn't matter.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Same here, too.

After my parents left the church we used to go to and started going to a better and larger one, I felt like I have way more faith in Jesus than I did before.

The pastor at my old church, who is in his 50s and grew up in the mountain areas of North Carolina and is NT, wasn't effective at teaching the word of God. It seemed like I didn't understand any of his teachings. Mostly because I didn't seem to understand why what he was saying was even related to God, Jesus, and the Bible at all. It seemed like he talked about how he got saved (in a bar) at some point in every other service, talked more about politics than appropriate for the contents of a Church setting, talked way too much about how the Church budget was getting dangerously low (which was kinda his fault, he even had to sell a small portion of the Church's property to some housing developers to increase it), constantly put himself down (not ideal if you're looking for a positive person in order to be taught the word of god), also, even though he keeps on claiming that the church was non-denominational, he seemed to constantly inject his Southern Baptist beliefs that he learned while growing up. He wasn't that great at telling me that God and Jesus DO exist and that they love me.

Also, everybody who attended my old Church was too social for my liking. It was stressful for me, a person who often gets overwhelmed in social settings, especially those in a small lobby. Everybody was too extroverted for my comfort. Oh, have I mentioned that the pastor there was a bit too spendy with the budget? Yeah, that was a thing he did.

However, when my parents finally left the old Church and started going to the new and larger church, it seemed like the pastor was explaining every detail perfectly. It finally felt like everything that didn't make sense to me before makes all the sense in the world! I felt like I felt like I was being loved and am still going to be loved, and am never stop going to be loved by Jesus.

It felt like my life made sense, and I now know God created me with my disability with a specific reason, and that is to use the gifts given to me by God through it to both my own advantage and his. I just don't know exactly what those gifts are and exactly how to use them to my own advantage and his. That's still something I'm trying to figure out.

This was also during a time where my grandfather, who has been a smoker for all his life up until last year, now needs to get a kidney transplant (for his only remaining and functional, but damaged kidney) and receive my mom's kidney, and I have been worrying a lot lately, especially since me and my family is going up to Michigan next month to complete the operation. I feel like God will help the surgeons who are going to be operating on my mom and grandfather to make sure that surgeon makes zero mistakes and saves my grandfather's life.

 

[Pats]

God created me with my disability with a specific reason, and that is to use the gifts given to me by God through it to both my own advantage and his. I just don't know exactly what those gifts are and exactly how to use them to my own advantage and his. That's still something I'm trying to figure out.

Don't worry about that. Sometimes we never see how God has used us, just trust that He has and will. Just continue to love and bear good fruit (love, patience, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) and leave the rest to Him. I always try to remind myself that Moses never got to enter the land promised to the Jews - didn't see and enjoy the results of his faith in this life.
Thanks for your response and I'll remember your mother and grandfather in my prayers.

 

[annieslife413]

 

[DesertRose]

I couldn't agree more. God is good, and without Him, I'd never have made it in this world, but I'm still here.