Think of the basics in approaching those nine out of ten people you pass by who are
not Neurodiverse. For starters, they're going to notice that
you aren't making eye contact with them, and that
you aren't smiling. And in that split second they're likely to just write you off socially, not even giving you the time of day.
Neurotypicals are in such an overwhelming majority that in most cases don't expect them to be conscious of social differences of Neurodiverse people. Even if they already know you're on the spectrum, most likely they'll still identify with and adhere exclusively to their own social customs and not your own. That if you look or act differently, most people will likely just shun you without giving it much thought.
Worse perhaps if they perceive your body language is saying, "BACK OFF". That's when you might get yourself a full-length mirror, and in private study how you look when hoping for some kind of recognition and feedback from others. I suspect many of us on the spectrum maintain this sort of impression with others. I know I have at times. Though I recognize that I must mask my traits and behaviors in a group situation likely dominated by Neurotypicals to try to avoid such an impression. It's not fair, but then fair isn't even a consideration to a huge majority accustomed to socially interacting
exclusively on their terms.
Occasionally I think of such situations involving body language found in various films, whether intended as comedy or drama. Such as the scene in "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" when Lisbeth Salander is being interviewed. Where she somehow manages to get the job while never actually making any real eye contact. A pretty awkward scene, especially from the perspective of Neurotypicals. But they needed her skills, so they chose to overlook such awkwardness on her part.
Or the scene in "Animal House" when the two hapless fraternity pledges go to the snottiest frat house , where they are treated with insincere smiles and friendly gestures, while basically dumping them in a corner of the room as they have no intention of accepting them into their fraternity. Look at their body language. The extroverted host, versus the introverted pledges.
It's supposed to be comedy and funny. But if you put yourself in their position or can recall something similar in real life, it's not so funny. I've been there. When smiling never comes naturally to me.
