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Featured Sensitive Topic I don't know why this upsets me so much...

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by InfinityRose, Nov 7, 2017.

  1. InfinityRose

    InfinityRose Active Member

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    So, a few days ago I was reading an article online about the various "funny" things parents have done to tease their kids or to teach them a lesson when they were bad on Buzzfeed. While some of the things listed were genuinely funny, I got really upset when I got to the comments section and came across someone talking about how if and when they came home hungover as a teen, their mother would force them to eat to the point that they would get nauseous, and then laugh in their face while they ran to the bathroom and vomited. The worst part about it was how almost all of the responses that person received were applauding their mother's parenting skills, even calling her "awesome." In my opinion, what the mother did is a clear example of child abuse and it kind of made my stomach turn in anger just reading about it.

    I don't know why this got to me so much, nothing like that has ever happened to me before and I grew up in a loving, supportive home. It just... sickens me that there are people that think this is okay, or even behavior worth emulating.

    I guess the reason why I posted this was to get it off my chest so I can relax, and maybe get some reassurance I'm not completely crazy?
     
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  2. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    I don't think your response is weird. Forcing your kid to eat until vomiting sounds incredibly abusive to me. Even if you want to teach your kid a lesson, this is not the way to go. Reminds me of stories where parents catch their kid smoking and force the kid to smoke an entire pack at once. It really gets my back up.

    A little teasing is okay, in my opinion. I remember being hungover at home when I was 17 or so, my mom would tease me by offering to cook me all these outrageous dishes and grin when my skin turned a shade more ashy just thinking about food. But then she'd leave me be, because the hangover itself is obviously punishment enough.
     
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  3. InfinityRose

    InfinityRose Active Member

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    I actually had a friend who's mother did that to her. After she caught her smoking one time, she forced her to smoke expired cigars to the point of vomiting. I mean, I know smoking is a terrible, unhealthy habit, but that is just an awful way to handle it.

    I'm glad that there is someone else out there who thinks this stuff is horrible, because the majority of people seem to think it's hilarious.
     
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  4. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    It scares me that there's people out there that think that amounts to good parenting and/or a hilarious prank. I'm glad my parents weren't part of those people.
     
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  5. InfinityRose

    InfinityRose Active Member

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    Yeah, I agree. I guess because it's socially unacceptable nowadays to beat your kids (for the most part), sadists have to find a new way to "teach their kids a lesson."
     
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  6. AGXStarseed

    AGXStarseed Well-Known Member

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    I've seen a fair few videos where parents have punished their kids by breaking (or making their kids break) their computers/video game consoles/mobile phones/etc.
    Personally, I would take the electronics away and sell them instead of breaking them if you really wanted rid of them; that way you get some cash back from what you originally spent on it.

    A well known example of this that I came across was of a Dad who had come across a really rude post that his daughter made on Facebook about him, her mother and her life in general and proceeded to made a YouTube video answering all the points that she made before putting several bullets in her laptop as punishment.
    Here's the video in all its glory:




    Another one was of a Dad who had apparently told his kid to improve his poor grades in 3 weeks and the kid had failed to do so. Despite the kid claiming that it wasn't his fault and that it was because of his teacher, his Dad made him smash up his game consoles with a sledgehammer - although the kid breaks down crying and is unable to smash up his last console, with the video stopping before we find out what happened.




    This last one was a Dad destroying his son's Xbox by running over it with his car because his son had stolen from him, with the Dad in the video saying that he's not going to risk going to jail for beating his son but can still destroy his stuff. As you can see, the kid doesn't take the Xbox destruction very well.

     
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  7. ksheehan88

    ksheehan88 :)

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    My Mum did that with my brother with cigarettes. Didn't work, he still smokes now.
     
  8. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Just realised my mother did it with my sister to a certain extent completely forgot about that ,it wasn't about drinking alcohol or smoking.
     
  9. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    In my opinion it's just a waste ,the Earth pays a high price to produce those products
     
  10. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    Holy cow... That dad meant business, but I feel he was basically right in what he did... geez. Kids are wow.... no words.
     
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  11. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Granted, there are any number of proponents of what I call "Tough Love".

    While I've never been a parent, I find such methodologies more often than not to be reprehensible.
     
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  12. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    Humanity and technology... Our ever fast changing lives... It seems to be just making people really messed up...

    The only answer I have is... Hold on this may get a little rough, before it gets better.

    We (all of us - parents and kids) have got to come to grips with what we are all turning into. Its cool to advance, but to become spoiled and obnoxious, its just a poison that only seems to spread.

    I get upset with all this stuff because its just really hard to find any logic in any of it...

    I think I am just too simple minded to get so wound up in this mass of drama that seems to be leaking out of every crack in humanities status quo.
     
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  13. pjcnet

    pjcnet Well-Known Member

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    That reminds me of some of the dodgy things that went on when attended a junior school in the late 1970s. My parents kept sending me to a non special school against expert advice and I had a terrible time throughout all my school days, but before I moved to a better school at 10 years old when my parents moved home I had an even worse time due to genuine abuse from the teachers at this particular junior school which I won't name here.

    I remember a teacher named Mrs Jones who took us outside into the playground, she then ordered the class to hold our arms out and spin around in circles and she wouldn't let us stop. This went on and on and we all felt very giddy wanting to stop, but she just demanded that we went faster and it became torturous, many of us started feeling ill, but she still shouted and demanded that we continue and it felt like forever. Finally she let us stop and most of us including myself were feeling very sick while some kids were in fact throwing up, but she had absolutely no sympathy and went nuts at anyone who dared to throw up forcing them to clean it up, she then demanded we went inside to write about what it feels like to feel ill. This was obviously abuse and this kind of thing was very common.

    The very same Mrs Jones used to enjoy sitting in the hot sun and often used to make us go to the outside grass or sometimes even the nearby park where she would totally relax and sunbath, but she didn't let us do our own thing, instead she insisted we all stayed in the hot sun to work and despite being extremely thirsty, overheated and sometimes even sun burnt, she continued to demand that we sit in the sun, threatening any children that dared to go into the shade. It was torturous and it was obviously another case of abuse.

    The school used to have a regular school disco after school which was supposed to be optional and I didn't feel comfortable attending. It cost just 10 pence to attend and the head teacher Mr. Gospel kept saying how we were supporting the school by going and how important this was, they severely pressured us to go. I couldn't face going and actually gave them their 10p for a ticket, but still sneaked out of school at the end. The next day the kids that didn't attend including myself were forced to stand up in assembly to be screamed at very nastily by Mr. Gospel and another psychotic teacher called Mrs Burn who specifically shouted at me saying that she hopes I get nothing for Christmas in front of the school.

    The previous head master Mr. Barwell was one of the few teachers that appeared to be reasonably stable, but after about 1 year he sadly retired and the new headmaster Mr. Gospel seemed to fit in much "better" with the rest of the abusive staff. In assembly Mr. Barwell once asked me a question which I responded to in the best way I could, I can't remember exactly what it was about, except that the head master laughed and was perfectly happy with my answer. After the assembly Mrs Jones started shouting and criticising my response saying that I had let down the class. She then demanded that the rest of the class totally ignore me for the rest of the day as a punishment. Looking back I think Mr. Barwell would have been shocked if he knew exactly what was going on as it seemed to be mainly hidden behind his back as otherwise I surely would have been punished in front of the headmaster.

    There was a teacher called Miss Darby who a few years ago was still listed as being a teacher at the school, assuming it's the same teacher she would had been close to retirement age and probably would have retired by now. She was often all over the little boys, literally forcing them to kiss her. She used to make a big thing of it and often sent for who she called her "favourites" even when they were in other classes, she would go on how lovely they were while forcing them to kiss her and she'd often say things like just one more time, hugging them repeatedly, but looking back the children were actually frightened and had no choice but to comply. It was extremely dodgy to say the very least and if she was like that openly I only wonder what she might have been like if she was ever with boys in private. I'm glad I was never one of her "favourite" boys.

    At Christmas we were all made to make a Christmas card and it was then given to a random girl decided by a drawn raffle ticket. This wasn't the issue, the issue was the teachers then demanded that we kissed the girl, I didn't want to and didn't feel comfortable, but I remember a teacher physically holding us together while I was trying to fight to get away.

    I remember when a child wet himself in class and Mrs Jones forced another child to clean it up in front of her for her amusement, she did actually get criticised my a disgusted parent who later found out and I remember my parents criticising her actions too, but nothing changed.

    My parents had a severe problem with the school because I was repeatedly screamed at by the headmaster in his office simply because the corners of my school book were turned up (not flat), they amazingly sent for my parents about the issue who were shocked that I was being severely punished for this (I was a 9 year old aspie at the time). My parents drew the teachers attention to the good work inside the book which they didn't seem to even care about, the school was always more interested in pure presentation than any actual work content.

    Miss Burn who I mentioned earlier used to do nothing but scream and threaten us, often with violence, she would often tell us that she was "in a bad mood today" so we're not allowed to speak and if anyone dared to as much as whisper she would go nuts and sometimes strike them. It was normal to be slapped and hit by the staff, but this was "legal" in those days. Apparently Miss Burn was divorced and had a lot of boy friend troubles which she often complained about when she took it out on the children. The newer headmaster Mr. Gospel used to hit his fair share of children too and would often work closely with Miss Burn, I for instance remember him hitting 1 child in assembly on stage so hard that his strike literally launched him across the stage to finally fall.

    I used to get bullied, something that I had to put up with throughout all my school life for being different, but at this junior school the teachers wouldn't listen and just had a go at me for asking for help, often even telling me to stand up for myself. Once at lunch time I remember going inside to get away from bullies when inside was normally out of bounds at this time, but I was shouted at and forced to go back outside even though I told them I was being attacked.

    This is just a small amount of what went on and abuse was a daily occurrence at this school, this is however nothing to the abuse my friend received when he was a child in the "care system" and at boarding school which makes my old junior school look like total paradise, it wouldn't be fair to detail this here, but it is nothing short of shocking (I suspect my friend is on the autistic spectrum, although so far not diagnosed).

    In the 1970s I believe abuse at British schools was much more common place and was rarely investigated back then, in fact if any children dared mention anything about abuse they'd usually be the ones to be punished. Not all schools were like this however as after I moved home at 10 years old my new Junior school was a lot better. I for instance remember when my pencil broke and I was frightened when I had to ask the teacher about it because at my old junior school we were normally shouted at and sometimes slapped if a pen stopped working or a pencil broke because apparently we weren't looking after school property, but the teacher just gave me another without any issue what-so-ever, I remember being relieved and very surprised, my new school was so different in a good way that after a while I realised how much we was being abused at my old school.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2017
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  14. Meistersinger

    Meistersinger Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to Central PA disciplinary methods, circa 1940! I would have done the same thing, and even harsher if I had children (No, I’m not married, and I don’t have children.). My parents did the same things to my brothers. Then again, especially on Mom’s side of the family, they were not only abusive, but very cruel. Grandpa was the town drunk and got extremely mean and cruel when plastered.
     
  15. Joel's Hear

    Joel's Hear Active Member

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    One of the saddest things I ever saw was an episode of America's Funniest Home video about 15 years ago. People laughing (or a laugh track) during a video of a mouse having gotten his neck stuck in a trap and trying to move around/dance around/break free. I lost a lot of faith in humanity that day and have never watched that show again. I really like rodents of all types: squirrels, mice, rats, etc.
     
  16. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    same here planets funniest animals had a cat staring at a mouse in a jar The mouse would be petrified these shows are sensationalist crap
     
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  17. InfinityRose

    InfinityRose Active Member

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    Perhaps it's for the best that you do not have children, if you think that is acceptable. I feel extremely sorry for you...
     
  18. InfinityRose

    InfinityRose Active Member

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    Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I know some of the schools I've attended in the past have had a lot of problems, but that just takes it to a whole new level. I'm glad that you eventually got to attend a better school and get away from all that. :)
     
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  19. Ambi

    Ambi Well-Known Member

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    I hate when parents abuse their kids and call it funny - it is no different from bullying and harassment. The one that got me upset was the video where parents explain masturbation to their young children, against their will, while the kids are extremely embarrassed, uncomfortable, and distressed. To not deal with topics that deserve sensitivity and appropriateness in such an inappropriate, embarrassing, and violating way - and even posting it on youtube for the world laugh - that to me is disgusting.
     
  20. onlything

    onlything Gathering pieces V.I.P Member

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    The world is as insensitive as the people living in it. It's not something the mother should have done but it's also not something you could do anything with. You can write and lead internet wars but it's not going to change much, unfortunately. Too many different opinions will probably make your own drown. Still, it's good to try.

    What she did is abuse, straight and simple and I'm not exactly glad that it made you angry but I am satisfied that there are still morally straight people out there.

    Sometimes, I have an impression that to most people everything is 'just a joke' and every time it happens, it makes me simply tired. I wonder if one day I will just become an indifferent shell of a person, laughing at the unfortunate with all the rest of the sheep.

    It's... depressing truly.
     
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