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I don`t know how to live this life.

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by convallaria, Oct 12, 2017.

  1. convallaria

    convallaria Active Member

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    Hello, my dear friends! Today we will talk about my dark soul and tired body. I am 18y.o. aspie girl (English is my second language so I'm really sorry for mistakes and I hope you guys will understand my speech) I don't really know am I aspie or it's just my stupid guesswork, but Asperger syndrome describes my entire life and now I can explain all my fails with communication with people.

    I learned about the asperger syndrome, when my best friend has been self-diagnosed it, after reading many books of psychology and about autism too. (In our countries, adults are not diagnosed with asperger syndrome.) She said that I look like aspie too and I started to study this question and came to the conclusion that I really am an aspie. We are both aspie.

    So, here we are. I hope here i can meet some intresting people with same problems and we can all discuss it without judjing. My habitual patterns of communication began to break down because I know the cause of my problems (asperger syndrome). I have to rebuild my identity and find new ways of interacting with the world and this takes away all my strength. I need strength to study (I'm studying at the 2nd year of medical university)!!! Now I'm starting to take antipsychotics and they help me feel less tired, but people say that I look sleepy and absentminded (maybe).

    Anyway, this forum will help me? Because I do not know how to live this life.
     
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  2. tree

    tree Blue/Green Staff Member V.I.P Member

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  3. Gritches

    Gritches Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Welcome, you're in the right place. This forum has helped me a lot. It sounds to me like you're on the right track already, and this forum should help you a lot too. So, again, welcome!
     
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  4. Tulipa

    Tulipa New Member

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    It was very honest and heartbreaking story, because I feel the same. Maybe because I am that best friend, who have been self-diagnosed :p
    I am very happy I have you, I love you, my dearest flower Sahar
     
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  5. convallaria

    convallaria Active Member

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    thank you all and Tulipa too, love you :kissingheart:
     
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  6. ZebraAspie

    ZebraAspie Well-Known Member

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    Welcome. Nice to meet you
     
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  7. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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  8. Nitro

    Nitro Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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  9. Sportster

    Sportster Aged to Perfection V.I.P Member

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  10. Ambi

    Ambi Well-Known Member

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    You've come to the right place! I'm learning how to live this life much more effectively with the help of this forum and books/videos by other Aspies.
     
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  11. onlything

    onlything Gathering pieces V.I.P Member

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    Hi there, welcome. You'll surely find many answers and people to talk to in here.
     
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  12. Chance

    Chance "all who wander are not lost" - Tolkien V.I.P Member

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    Welcome Convallaria and Tulipa...

    My best guess is that you both know each other in real life? If so, that's really cool...
    If not, please forgive my ignorance and just pretend I never made an idiot of myself.

    I hope you find lots of stuff that gives you the answers you seek... There is lots of real life stuff on here that you probably won't find anywhere else... : )
     
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  13. Amy Susan Rose

    Amy Susan Rose Mitakuye Oyasin

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    Welcome, Convallaria and Tulipa. This site has such a wonderful array of people willing to share their experiences and perspectives. Such a hard road we travel especially during the period when we have not been diagnosed, whether by ourselves or professionals.
    Quite the epiphany, huh ;) I am happy that you and Tulipa have discovered being on the Spectrum at a young age for now as you so aptly put it:
    When I was diagnosed at the old age of 40 I was, on one hand, crestfallen but on the other hand relieved. The more I researched Aspergers the better I felt because it answered a lot of nagging questions that had plagued me for decades. Given a diagnosis, I could learn to love and accept myself and not consider myself a failure or a dolt for lacking the social skills that always seem to come so easy and natural for most NT's. Obviously, you are a young woman of great intelligence and I respect that you are so brave to be in medical school; not an easy gig for those not on the Spectrum, let alone those that are. I am glad your meds are working for I imagine you have many days when you must be totally exhausted not only by your studies but by all the social interaction you must have to undergo in order to obtain your goal. Again, welcome, and I hope you and Tulipa (when you can find the time) let us know how you are doing along with your insights.
     
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  14. SusanLR

    SusanLR Well-Known Member

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    A good place here.
    Lots of people to talk with.
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  15. convallaria

    convallaria Active Member

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    We met on Twitter and for 4 years we are online friends (we live in 962 kilometers from each other). I wish to meet her in real life someday and create a rehabilitation center for people with autism spectrum disorders because in order to survive in this cruel world we all have to stay together.
    Me too (this is a strange feeling). Now I'm glad that we were diagnosed not in 40 years (like you or Rudy Simon) but at our young age.
    Honestly, during the first year of study, every day, returning home, I cried a lot and just now I can explain why. Crowds of people, bright lights, quartz lamps, loud sounds, smells and useless talk about the weather. I thought everyone was facing these problems, but coping with stress better than me.
     
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  16. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    Welcome
     
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  17. Keigan

    Keigan Restless Mind V.I.P Member

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    Welcome. We live this life one step at a time.
     
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  18. Bella Pines

    Bella Pines Well-Known Member

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    Your English is great, I understood every word, and yes, this forum helps all of us so warm welcome.

    Exactly! We call it "small talk" when people talk about useless, trivial and meaningless subjects. I struggle with people at the best of times! There's some great posts around about coping mechanisms and how people react when they realise they are aspie, so share, ask questions and find your well deserved confidence. Xx
     
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  19. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Hello do you have an app on your computer that could translate your first language into English?(Google always ask me if I go to A website and it's in another language if I want it translated into English), I ask as it would probably take a lot of stress off you !if you didn't have to be worrying about whether you were spelling it properly ,we can work out what you say but it will take the stress off you .
    And know this English is my first language and I still don't know how to write it properly , i'm 47 years old it's embarrassing .
     
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  20. convallaria

    convallaria Active Member

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    Yes I have, but automatic translating is awful. I don’t know how to explain my problem better. I understand texts or what people say to me, but I can’t talk (writing is easier than talking) because I'm afraid to make a mistake. I'm afraid that people will laugh at me and will consider me stupid.
    My mind consist of images, so I have to translate them into my native language, and then into English.
     
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