I'? Crious as to if I might be on the autistic spectrum and would like opinions

[Talkingbackwards]

Hi, so this is probably gonna be long and kinda all over the place so I'm sorry in advance. I'm 22 and female. Over the last few months I've come to realize I might be mildly autistic?? I don't want to self-diagnose but I don't have the chance for any type of proper diagnosis with my life schedule how it currently is.

Moving along, I ended up on the more neuro-divergent side of tik tok a few months ago and ended up with quite a few autistic creators on my fyp. The more that they talked about themselves and such the more I found things that I had in common with them. It intrigued me so I started looking into more symptoms of autism. I took a few of those online tests, including the RAADS-R which was recommended to me by someone whi is autistic, anyway I know you can't trust them as a diagnostic, but they all said that I was at least mildly autistic or possibly have aspergers.

Some things I do that I think correspond with the possibility of me being autistic or neuro-divergent is that I tend to hyper fixate on things like tv shows, books, bands, and other media. To the point where I will consume as much media and information on this topic as possible. It'll become the sole focus of what I read about, draw, talk about and reblog on social media. I also tend to get "flappy" hands and squeal when I get overwhelmed bouts of excitement. Now that I am older I am better at containing myself but it's still pretty bad. When I was a kid/teen I would jump around as well but that doesn't happen as often now. Though I also tend to have an inability of sitting still, I like to fidget with things a lot and keep a spinner ring to give me something to focus on so I can pay attention. I also get overwhelming urges to chew on squishy things. I don't know why but its so satisfying.

I'm also not the best at understand how emotional people can get about certain things. Like when my friends are upset and I try to give them logical advice they don't listen or keep getting upset about the same thing over and over again. It's frustrating cause I don't want to sound rude to them but I don't get why they act so emotionally about the same thing over and over again and it bores me. (I try not to be mean but it comes off that way when I try to help). Like I gave them an option that really would help but then they ignore it and keep getting hurt because theyre think to much with their hearts and I just don't get it.

I'm really not the best at socializing and have trouble with my own emotions at times. When I was younger I had a really hard time controlling my anger because it was the most easy for me to understand so my default reaction to things was to get angry. I'm better now but I still struggle with communicating how I'm feeling in a way thats easily understandable to those around me which is why I like to be more rational. I've had the same 4 friends for like 10 years and they get my antisocial behavior but strangers don't and get upset with me. I don't really pick up on how they are feeling when they aren't forthcoming with it. Like it's not hard to just tell me??

I've also read that autistic people can be sensitive to textures and noises, things like that. I'm bad about food like even if I like the flavor of something if the texture is weird I can't eat it. Example being I like tomato sauce on pasta and pizza but I can't have tomato chunks cause if I eat one it'll make me lose my appetite and I can't eat my food anymore. Even if I pick out all the chunks. I also don't like wearing pants because they're uncomfortable for me and I don't know why its just upsetting at times. I can also get really bad overload when I am sitting with my friends and one of them is playing games on their phone or watching a video without headphones. The noise puts me in a really bad mood and puts me on edge.

I'm also really bad about people touching me. To the point it can make me throw up on bad days. Only two of my friends are an exception to this rule and that's cause one let's me initiate myself and the other is just a very pleasant touch to have. Though I get uncomfortable with them touching me too more often than not. I also can get stressed out when things are moved from the place that I got used to seeing them in, like if my friend moves a pillow on my bed that I got use to seeing in that exact spot I have to move it back and give them a different one because it'll stress me out for the rest of our hang out. I'm also a generally loud person and tend to talk over people a lot without meaning to I just get excited about something and want to say it before I forget or the topic changes.

Anyway those are some of the things that I read could possibly be signs of autism or neuro-divergence that happen to me. I wanted to get an opinion from someone who is actually autistic as to if you think I might be as well. I in no way mean to offend with this submission. Thank you!

 

[SimonSays]

Hey, welcome.

Maybe you can also talk in paragraphs?
A wall of text is not easy to read.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Its ok if you are trying to figure you out, no one will mind. Just be nice, try and be a positive and supporting influence. Some of the folks here have unpleasant periods they go through in life, so try and be kind.

There are some really fun games, a blog space, a rarely used chat room. And lots and lots of threads. You might want to check out some of the art.

 

[Alexej]

Hi and welcome @Talkingbackwards

From what you have written i certainly sounds like you might be autistic. However, there are lots of women on the forums who could help you understand.
I suggest you try doing some reading of older posts, the search engine is not too bad. Read some of the older posts on women being diagnosed, and also you could post some further questions.

 

[Crossbreed]

Hello & welcome, @Talkingbackwards.

You know, you could have saved yourself some typing if you would have used Gniklat as your login name, instead...

 

[Major Tom]

Welcome to the forums.

 

[Thinx]

Hi and welcome, yes you sound like you are noticing some autistic traits, keep looking into it, try Jessica Kingsley publishers catalogue they have some good texts on this subject, especially by and about women with Autism.

 

[OkRad]

Emoclew!

 

[Gift2humanity]

Hi, so this is probably gonna be long and kinda all over the place so I'm sorry in advance. I'm 22 and female. Over the last few months I've come to realize I might be mildly autistic?? I don't want to self-diagnose but I don't have the chance for any type of proper diagnosis with my life schedule how it currently is.

I can't diagnose you, it would need a professional. It takes a while in the UK, so maybe you could see a doctor if you live here, I don't know what the procedure is in other countries.

Moving along, I ended up on the more neuro-divergent side of tik tok a few months ago and ended up with quite a few autistic creators on my fyp. The more that they talked about themselves and such the more I found things that I had in common with them. It intrigued me so I started looking into more symptoms of autism. I took a few of those online tests, including the RAADS-R which was recommended to me by someone whi is autistic, anyway I know you can't trust them as a diagnostic, but they all said that I was at least mildly autistic or possibly have aspergers.

They gave me the RAADS-R test when assessing me.

Some things I do that I think correspond with the possibility of me being autistic or neuro-divergent is that I tend to hyper fixate on things like tv shows, books, bands, and other media. To the point where I will consume as much media and information on this topic as possible. It'll become the sole focus of what I read about, draw, talk about and reblog on social media. I also tend to get "flappy" hands and squeal when I get overwhelmed bouts of excitement. Now that I am older I am better at containing myself but it's still pretty bad. When I was a kid/teen I would jump around as well but that doesn't happen as often now. Though I also tend to have an inability of sitting still, I like to fidget with things a lot and keep a spinner ring to give me something to focus on so I can pay attention. I also get overwhelming urges to chew on squishy things. I don't know why but its so satisfying.

I fixate on various things, I remember fixating on David Cameron when he was PM, this was before I was diagnosed, that was a concern to say the least hahahahahahahhah I drew him once.

I think I have hand flapped during meltdowns, it's easy for me to get overwhelmed and excitable. I cannot sit still, this has been commented on, I have undiagnosed ADHD. I fidget. I hold furry or soft things to my face.

I'm also not the best at understand how emotional people can get about certain things. Like when my friends are upset and I try to give them logical advice they don't listen or keep getting upset about the same thing over and over again. It's frustrating cause I don't want to sound rude to them but I don't get why they act so emotionally about the same thing over and over again and it bores me. (I try not to be mean but it comes off that way when I try to help). Like I gave them an option that really would help but then they ignore it and keep getting hurt because theyre think to much with their hearts and I just don't get it.

I can't relate to bereavement which feels weird.
I can get over emotional at upsetting things.

I'm really not the best at socializing and have trouble with my own emotions at times. When I was younger I had a really hard time controlling my anger because it was the most easy for me to understand so my default reaction to things was to get angry. I'm better now but I still struggle with communicating how I'm feeling in a way thats easily understandable to those around me which is why I like to be more rational. I've had the same 4 friends for like 10 years and they get my antisocial behavior but strangers don't and get upset with me. I don't really pick up on how they are feeling when they aren't forthcoming with it. Like it's not hard to just tell me??

I used to try to fit in socially and that just earned me borderline personality disorder as I didn't know who I was. I am better around people who accept me for who I am, if people don't I would disengage.
I have a hard time controlling my anger, and have taken it out on my self (often dangerously) or my belongings. I like things to be spelled out to me, I don't do vagueness very well, if you are upset with me, come out, tell me, and tell me why, I like straight talking.
I can relate to your struggle in communicating feelings.

I've also read that autistic people can be sensitive to textures and noises, things like that. I'm bad about food like even if I like the flavor of something if the texture is weird I can't eat it. Example being I like tomato sauce on pasta and pizza but I can't have tomato chunks cause if I eat one it'll make me lose my appetite and I can't eat my food anymore. Even if I pick out all the chunks. I also don't like wearing pants because they're uncomfortable for me and I don't know why its just upsetting at times. I can also get really bad overload when I am sitting with my friends and one of them is playing games on their phone or watching a video without headphones. The noise puts me in a really bad mood and puts me on edge.

I never liked wearing jeans but I wore them for fashion, now I don't care about fashion, comfort is better.
I can eat soggy wheetabix but not soggy bread, cornflakes etc
I hated it when I ate meat and couldn't chew fat, horrible.
Yeah, some things get annoying for me, a lady I was with phoned her son on the mobile, she said it was engaged, she kept ringing and ringing in succession instead of waiting.
I am not comfortable with repeated recordings on phones.

I'm also really bad about people touching me. To the point it can make me throw up on bad days. Only two of my friends are an exception to this rule and that's cause one let's me initiate myself and the other is just a very pleasant touch to have. Though I get uncomfortable with them touching me too more often than not. I also can get stressed out when things are moved from the place that I got used to seeing them in, like if my friend moves a pillow on my bed that I got use to seeing in that exact spot I have to move it back and give them a different one because it'll stress me out for the rest of our hang out. I'm also a generally loud person and tend to talk over people a lot without meaning to I just get excited about something and want to say it before I forget or the topic changes.

If you want to touch me, ask first please? If you do it without asking I shall ask you to ask me, unless you are a "comfy person".
I am ashamed to say, it took me until only recently to know to do this, prior to this I let people touch me and feared I would sound unreasonable if I asked them not to. Throw up on the person touching you - that'll learn 'em (just a joke).

I interrupt, however I am pleased with my progress on interrupting, I have only recently started to make a concerted effort not to interrupt.
It's amazing if you are in a group, and stay quiet, you will notice that people may interrupt each other, it's really common.
Most people are ok if I say "Hang on, I am not finished" for those who are not, they are not respectful.
Sometimes I let interrupters slide if I get a sense that they do respect me and are not doing it out of selfishness, on the other hand, some people are blatant interrupters.
I relate to you interrupting lest you forget, I experience that, I tend to let them speak on, unless it's an important relevant thing.

Anyway those are some of the things that I read could possibly be signs of autism or neuro-divergence that happen to me. I wanted to get an opinion from someone who is actually autistic as to if you think I might be as well. I in no way mean to offend with this submission. Thank you!

While I am autistic, I am not a diagnostician, so I am loathed to say yes you are autistic, all I can say is what I said above that I resonate with.

If you want a diagnosis, I would go for it, if you are happy with self diagnosing, that is ok too, we welcome diagnosed and self diagnosed and even NT's with questions on autism.

Hope that helps.

 

[The Pandector]

Welcome backwards talker.

I'm feeling very happy for you. I only recently self-diagnosed, and it has been a life changer. I'm happy that you've done so as a fully adult person, and yet presumably just at the start of your life. I'm pushing 70, so it's a different proposition for me.

It's good that you included several examples of your possibly autistic traits, and from several aspects of life. As the DSM puts it, autism is pervasive, and seeing it's impact across a range of your behaviors might be an important diagnostic clue.

I hope that your life unfolds according to self understanding, and that you'll spend some of it with us around here.