I can’t talk loud... :(

[Ailuvkatz325]

I’ve read on dozens of websites that aspies and autists speak very loud (evidently not everyone), but I can’t find any with ones with their voices being too quiet, like mine.

I don’t want to be not heard. I don’t want to have people lean in very close just to hear me. I don’t want to have them strain to hear me. But I can’t make my voice louder comfortably. I have to use a ton of effort to make sure I’m heard in important times and that people hear okay the first time. It’s still not that loud even if I do try to talk loudly.

I want to give up but I know that I can’t, unless I want to annoy people. How do you suppose I learn to talk louder? Do you have any tips?

Speech therapy is something i found not too long ago, so I might let my parents know.

 

[Monachopia]

I'm not really sure to be honest... Most of my life my voice was so quiet that people always strained to hear me, in my head I spoke at a normal volume, but apparently it's not the case. So I had to modulate it to a point where I feel I speak very loudly - but apparently that's the 'normal' volume for other people. It took some years of practice for my throat to stop hurting from the strain, but I do feel I have to consciously make an effort to up the volume even now.
I think part of the reason I spoke so quietly was because loud voices hurt my ears, so my own voice, the one I hear internally irritates me too when it's too loud, so it's some sort of learned mechanism not to have pain while speaking. If I have to speak for too long at the 'louder' volume it gives me stress and there's pain in my ears. So I keep conversations fairly brief/ to the point and/or keep to near-silent environments away from excessive background noise or music so that the person I'm speaking to will hear me better when I need to speak more softly.

 

[Pats]

I don't think it's so rare to find someone on the spectrum that talks very softly. I don't talk loud and tend to mumble. I think if you talk quietly, it's more important to speak clearly.

 

[Catana]

How many times are you going to repeat yourself? It isn't a substitute for talking louder. Anyway, you don't have to speak loudly, just speak clearly and loud enough so you can be heard.

 

[Ailuvkatz325]

How many times are you going to repeat yourself? It isn't a substitute for talking louder. Anyway, you don't have to speak loudly, just speak clearly and loud enough so you can be heard.

What is it that I was repeating? I don’t have repetition in my post if you actually read it properly. And speaking clearly won’t help with the volume of my voice. They’re obviously two different things.

 

[PossumFan]

Same here. I just don't like to talk that loud. It hurts my ears. :/

 

[Autistamatic]

I have had to make a particular effort to be heard. I am naturally soft spoken and have had to push myself to project audibly. It can be done though. If you raise your voice and choose what you say to be relevant to the subject at hand it can break many barriers.

 

[Catana]

What is it that I was repeating? I don’t have repetition in my post if you actually read it properly. And speaking clearly won’t help with the volume of my voice. They’re obviously two different things.

You posted three separate times. But apparently someone has removed the duplicates.

Volume and clarity. Yes, thank you. I know they're two separate things. Speaking clearly can help make up for the lack of volume, but obviously, you have to speak up at least loud enough to be heard. People will often resent having to struggle to hear what someone's saying, so it's a courtesy, if nothing else.

"How do you suppose I learn to talk louder?"

Practice. By yourself, so there's no one to make you self-conscious. There are no secret tricks, just effort.

 

[Fino]

Holy moly!! Is talking loudly often considered a trait for autism? I've been told my whole life that I only have one volume and it's loud! But I never feel loud. It's pretty funny sometimes. "Am I yelling?" I apparently yell. I've always attributed all this to ADHD, but not even because of something I've read, it just made sense to me. Friends have told me that to make it more realistic, they read all my texts as yelling.

 

[Ginseng]

I have always spoke fairly softly. But I did read somewhere recently that speaking loudly or too softly were both autism traits. I do not recall where I read that though. I had never thought of my soft voice as being aspie related.

 

[Graphin]

Talking loudly doesn't help me, people somehow manage to never pay attention anyway

 

[Progster]

I have a naturally quiet voice, but I learned to project my voice to an audience when I started teaching. I think there are lots of people on the spectrum with quiet voices.

 

[Suzanne]

I have trouble with regulating my voice and so, when excited or angry, I am told I am too loud, but to me, I am talking normally and this has caused misery to me.

Although, not long ago, I actually did hear myself almost shouting and was able to regulate it.

I can also be very quiet. Enough for ones to think I am not there.

DISCLAIMER: I am on route to getting a formal diagnosis, so perhaps I am the one who is out of zinc with other aspies.

 

[Sid Delicious]

I apparently swing from one extreme to the next depending on how energetic I'm feeling or how excited I am over something. I'm completely unaware of it though. Other times people tell me to stop whispering! I think it's because my hearing is so good that I can hear people talking from several rooms away, so I just assume other people can always hear me. I've yet to find a good balance!

 

[Mary Terry]

I frequently have very soft spoken ASD students whom I think are shy, lacking in self confidence, afraid of someone making fun of them, afraid of giving the wrong answer to a question, etc so they barely speak above a whisper. Everyone in my little class is on the spectrum so I encourage them to speak at normal volume for the context of what they are saying by having them (and me) act out scenes from plays when we are studying grammar and literature.

 

[owlet]

I also speak very quietly. It was something I got in trouble for at work, when I was in retail, and my mum tried to teach me how to project my voice (speak from lower down in your throat), but I found that ended up making my throat very sore after a while. I think with practice it probably gets easier.

 

[Fino]

"shh!

"I DON'T GET WHY WE HAVE TO-"

"shhhhh!

"...be quiet here."

And it's not exactly related but this thread reminded me of the fact that I keep pointing at people without realizing it and people are like "Stop pointing, it's rude!" And I don't get really get it but try not to anyway and then keep doing it my whole life!

 

[Pondering]

I'm genuinely relieved to know I am not the only one who has this problem. And it's frustrating because I have this huge personality and this tiny voice, so everyone who doesn't know me very well more than likely thinks I'm timid, shy, or passive, or waiting to grow into my figurative shoes as it were. If I am in a loud environment, forget about it - I might as well be voiceless. Some tips:

1. Good posture.

2. Engage the support of the diaphragm to reduce vocal strain and maximize vocal power without any physical discomfort. So instead of speaking from my throat, I sort of have to make a conscious effort to engage my whole body almost the way a singer would; essentially it's the same fundamental techniques they might use.

3. Drink lots of water. Your voice will get hoarse and croak-y if you're not drinking enough water.

4. Be enthusiastic about what you are talking about. If you pay attention to people who get excited easily, you may notice them beginning to talk louder and with very little effort vocally. This is the same principle. If you are intensely passionate about whatever you are talking about, it should make it a little bit easier to increase your volume.

 

[Otenba]

I have trouble with regulating my voice and so, when excited or angry, I am told I am too loud, but to me, I am talking normally and this has caused misery to me.

I can relate so much to this. My poor husband and some pals have regularly had to gently remind me to adjust my voice volume when I'm with them. It surprises me how much effort it can take for me to do this once I'm aware that I'm too loud, but I do manage it usually after their prompts. At times it has made me laugh because I'm surprised at my lack of self control (or something like that), but I also apologise of course! I think I find my volume hard to gauge when I'm just talking and just being passionate about the topic. I do lots of arm and hand movement too, especially when I'm annoyed at the same time.

 

[Reu]

This has always been a problem for me. I remember growing up and my dad would tell me, ‘I can’t hear you. I told you to speak up when you’re talking to me.’ I would never say it out loud but in my mind I would think, ‘I was trying and I thought I was speaking louder.’ It was always hard when that would happen because then I didn’t feel like talking at all but that would only make him more irritated with me. Now I cringe when someone even apologizes and asks me to repeat myself.

I don’t know if I speak in a lower volume out of fear of saying the wrong things or just the social difficulties. I think it may have to do with sensory sensitivity. I can hear myself just fine so I don’t speak very loud. Also, most other people sound very loud to me. Maybe I get self conscious. It also seems that the louder it is in the area or when there are more sounds in the area, I speak lower instead of louder. I try to speak louder but then people say I’m mumbling. My ears feel plugged up sometimes when this happens.

I’ve been passed up for promotions at work, being told I am too quiet. I have to try really hard to talk at ‘normal’ audio levels. It’s tiring and doesn’t work for me most of the time. I’ve considered getting voice lessons.